


Beginnings

by Jayuscaper



Series: Partners For Life [4]
Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Parenting, Consensual Underage Sex, Dubious Consent, F/M, Grooming, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:54:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 49,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26730223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayuscaper/pseuds/Jayuscaper
Summary: The Prequel - Teenage Jesse is struggling at school, at home and at life, his parents aren't helping but claim they are, causing Jesse to seek other forms of escape but everything changes when his father introduces Jesse to a friend of his from work.
Relationships: Jesse Pinkman/Other(s)
Series: Partners For Life [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793962
Comments: 14
Kudos: 17





	1. Where it all began...

**Author's Note:**

> If you have not read Reunited (part 3 of the series) you may wish to first so you get the lead in to this at the right point in the story.  
> Originally this story was a collection of thoughts to help me understand Jesse's character as I wrote part 2 (posted) and the real part 3 (yet to be posted). I quickly found myself writing more and more 'notes' to the point I gave in to myself and started to write it more as a story in it's own right. Teenage Jesse is a whole diffirent type of angst that exploring where he came from became very interesting. I do accept that I have certainly written his parents to be far more horrible than canon (sorry daddy pinkman in particular) but I have found more and more that maybe canon only showed us the softer/public facing side of them, not the closed doors version, cos the more I think about it, the more things in canon make sense about Jesse in the context of his parents not being so innocent as canon seems to suggest - but that might just be me trying to justify my rapidly darkening tale... ahem ;)

Kicking his feet as he walked along the sidewalk, Jesse Pinkman had his school bag hanging off his back and his head down low. He looked up briefly on hearing some laughter, seeing some fellow students across the street but he quickly looked back down again to his feet.

‘Hey Pinky!’ one of them hollered loudly before they all burst into giggles and Jesse ignored them.

‘Where’s the brain?’

‘Not in his head!’ another burst of laughter erupted as Jesse turned a corner glad to be walking away from them.

School didn’t use to be like this, he remembered enjoying school, and generally enjoying things a lot more but recently it all seemed to be too much, his head couldn’t cope and felt muddled. Jesse wiped his eyes, determined not to let his emotions get the better of him as he continued to walk. There was a time where he was popular or at least liked, when he had a handful of good fun friends, people seemed to enjoy being around him but then things got serious, the move up to the bigger school, talk of exams and career paths became all too real and confusing.

Pushing the front door open, Jesse slammed it behind him as he walked into the house, dumping his bag by the stairs he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a juice. He glanced to the back garden where his mum was playing with Jake, sat on a blanket she had some alphabet flashcards that the toddler was happily responding too.

‘Hey mom,’ Jesse called out as he stood by the open door.

‘Jesse, how was school?’

‘I think you’re going to get another call,’ Jesse admitted sadly.

‘What now, Jesse?’ his mother sounded disappointed.

‘Got into a fight during break and then Mrs Baker threw me out of her class for not paying attention or something,’ Jesse said as he took another gulp from his glass.

Her look was pure disappointment, making Jesse feel worse. ‘Don’t forget to take your vitamins, Jesse, your father won’t be happy if you forget again!’ His mother then noted.

‘I’m taking them now,’ Jesse grabbed the two pills and used the last of his drink to wash them down.

‘Well you better go up to your room and start your homework before your father gets home, you know he won’t be happy when the school calls, you’ve been warned before,’ his mother stated firmly.

‘Can I just play with you guys for a bit, it’s been a tough day,’ Jesse asked, rubbing his face tiredly.

‘Jesse, up to your room now!’ his mother demanded and with a grumpy sigh Jesse turned and headed to his room, grabbing his bag as he went.

* * *

Jesse stared at the wall in front of him, pictures of him much younger, smiling and happy with friends he’d lost as their interests changed. There were a few drawings he had done pinned to the board, but that wasn’t encouraged anymore, too much of a distraction his father had said. He stared at the maths sheet in front of him, he had managed to write his name and class number on it, but the rest was covered in crossings out as he struggled with the sums. The numbers seemed to be taunting him as he tried to focus, dancing around the sheet. He tried to reread the first question in the hope it might make sense at some point.

The door to his room opened and his father stepped inside. ‘Jesse, stand up.’ Jesse didn’t question why and just stood up, facing his father with his shoulder’s slumped.

‘We’ve just been speaking to your principle, Jesse, you are very close to being suspended do you realise this?’ His father asked.

‘It wasn’t my fault,’ Jesse started but his father cut him off.

‘It never is, is it?’ Adam Pinkman sharply returned. ‘What has got into you lately? Why do you excel at being disruptive when everything we are teaching you is about focus and concentration!’

‘They were calling me names, like constantly harassing me,’ Jesse complained. ‘I can’t just ignore it, I tried, the more you do the louder they-‘

‘I don’t care!’ his father suddenly exploded. ‘You do not raise your fists to anybody.’

‘You do it to me,’ Jesse yelled back and felt his face snap to the side, a hefty slap across his left cheek. ‘Ow!’ he grimaced, holding his face.

‘Have you done your homework?’ Adam composed himself as he asked.

Jesse still rubbing his face gestured to the maths sheet on his desk. ‘I’ve tried,’ he offered, then felt his father grab his upper arm and force him back down into his seat.

‘You clearly need these to focus,’ his dad pulled out his vitamins box from his pocket.

‘I just took some!’ Jesse protested still rubbing his cheek.

‘You clearly need more looking at this garbage,’ his father decided.

Jesse let his head drop, he walked into that one he figured. ‘I don’t think they work as well as you want them to, they make my head all fuzzy,’ Jesse complained.

‘This is what I’m talking about, we are trying to help you!’ his father yelled, slamming the vitamins down on Jesse’s desk. ‘Take a couple more, you clearly need the help, stop fighting us, Jesse.’

Jesse grabbed the box and shook it, so he got 2 pills onto his palm,’ he hesitated.

‘What?’ His father snapped, clearly out of patience.

‘I don’t have a drink to take them with,’ Jesse pointed out.

‘For goodness sake just take them,’ his father stressed and when Jesse continued to hesitate his father grabbed both pills and tried to force them into Jesse’s mouth. Jesse turned his head and deflected his father’s hands away and they fought for a moment until Jesse lost his balance on the chair and it fell back as the chair toppled, leaving Jesse in a pained heap on the floor. ‘Get up!’ his father demanded loudly.

‘Is everything ok, up there?’ Jesse heard his mother calling up the stairs, Jesse knew better than to answer when his dad was like this, knowing how much his dad hated how much his mother fussed over him if given the chance. Lately Jesse had found she was doing it less and less, which he missed but knew his father was behind it and Jesse didn’t want him turning on his mom like he had with him.

‘Everything is fine, it’s just Jesse being Jesse, dear,’ his father shouted back as Jesse slowly got back to his feet and righted his chair.

His father grabbed his hair forcing both pills into Jesse’s mouth, and this time Jesse didn’t fight him, he crunched the pills up, they tasted gross but he dared not complain as he swallowed them.

‘What is this?’ Adam then demanded, picking up the math sheet that looked a mess of crossings out. ‘Are you even taking your schoolwork seriously, this is pathetic, should I be proud you’ve actually managed to spell your own name right at least?’

‘I don’t get it, ok, I don’t know what I’m doing, what I’m supposed to be doing,’ Jesse began to sob, unable to hold his emotions in any longer.

‘Maybe if you paid attention in class a little more you would, have you considered that?’ Adam asked pointedly.

‘I do!’ Jesse exclaimed. ‘Honestly I’m trying but, I don’t know, I’m just not getting it,’ the frustration was clear to see as the tears continued to fall. ‘It’s like there’s just this constant noise in my head.’

‘Crying won’t help, Jesse,’ Adam Pinkman simply said and put the homework back down onto the desk in front of Jesse. ‘You will complete this homework, to a satisfactory standard that you can show me, and only once I am happy will you be able to have dinner with us, is that clear?’

Jesse looked deflated. ‘Yeah,’ he mumbled, and sniffed.

‘Then you better start trying, dinner is in 30 minutes,’ Adam stated before leaving the room.

Jesse picked up his pen pot and threw it against the wall, quickly followed by a stapler and an old action figure, screaming out in frustration he then slumped in his chair, wiped his eyes and looked at the math’s sheet again.

* * *

It was nearly midnight when Diane Pinkman opened the door to Jesse’s room and found him with his head on his desk, sound asleep on his math’s homework. She sighed as she walked into the room carrying a small plate with some cookies on.

‘You spoil him, he has to learn,’ Adam appeared behind her as she placed the plate down next to Jesse.

‘He’s not eaten, the boy needs to eat,’ Diane lightly argued.

Adam moved forward and wrestled the maths sheet from under Jesse’s sleeping head, he looked surprised at what he saw. ‘Why didn’t he come and show me this, he’s got most of this correct at least and then he could have eaten.’

‘Jesse, wake up,’ Diane shook his shoulder and he stirred immediately. ‘I brought you some cookies, then you can go to bed.’

‘Er, thanks mom,’ Jesse managed, still half asleep he then noticed his dad looking at his homework. ‘I tried my best dad, I really did, I promise,’ he weakly offered.

‘It’s not great but it’ll do,’ his dad begrudgingly stated and handed the paper back to Jesse.

Both parents then left the room and Jesse numbly took a cookie, he took one bite before falling asleep on the desk again.

* * *

The next day at school Jesse was a mess, he had a crick in his neck that was killing him, and everyone was on his case, teachers, pupils, people he used to consider friends. He felt like he was carrying a weight around with him that he couldn’t shift, everything was a struggle and he just wanted to cry at every given moment.

‘Pinkman, don’t forget you have detention at the end of the day,’ Mrs Baker called out to him in the corridor, causing mirth among those surrounding Jesse in that moment.

‘I know,’ Jesse whined back, he opened his locker only for someone to smash the door closed again, barely missing trapping his fingers.

‘Pinkman, I need five dollars,’ an older boy asked.

‘I don’t have any money,’ Jesse returned.

‘That’s not my problem, I need five dollars for lunch,’ the older boy persisted.

‘I can’t help you, yo,’ Jesse objected. ‘I don’t get allowance, I have nothing to give,’ Jesse added. Jesse felt the front of his shirt being grabbed and he was slammed back into the locker with force. ‘Yo, what’s your problem!’ Jesse snapped.

‘My problem is you, I told you I need five dollars!’ the older man growled.

‘And I told you I don’t have it, can’t get it, I can’t help you!’ Jesse yelled and pushed the kid off him with as much force as he could muster. Surprising the older kid, he stumbled back into his friends and in that moment, Jesse heard Mrs Baker’s voice.

‘Jesse Pinkman, to the principal’s office immediately!’ Mrs Baker ordered.

‘What? No! He started it, he pushed me first!’ Jesse argued, but the corridor was silent now and no one spoke up for him.

‘Go, now!’ Baker yelled.

Jesse took a deep breath and picked up his bag with a huff, storming off towards the principal’s office, ignoring the snickers he could hear from those who hadn’t corrected the facts.

* * *

The door to the principal’s office opened and Adam Pinkman emerged, his features looked ready to kill as he stared at Jesse, sat slumped in his chair.

‘Stand up,’ his father barked, and Jesse slowly got to his feet, grabbing his bag. ‘What class are you supposed to be in right now?’

‘Chemistry,’ Jesse mumbled.

‘Come on then, move,’ Adam jostled Jesse along. ‘To be called from work to come and see your principle during the day, are you pleased with yourself, Jesse?’

‘No,’ Jesse simply said, knowing saying anything else was pointless. Ever since the incident not one adult had asked for his version of events and he quickly realised it didn’t matter, so instead he just accepted that there was little point defending himself as the adults had already decided for him.

‘Is that all you have to say for yourself?’ his father then returned, causing Jesse to roll his eyes.

‘Whatever I say will be wrong so what’s the point?’

Adam just heavy sighed, clearly not in the mood to deal with Jesse and he pushed him to hurry him up. They finally reached the chemistry lab and Jesse opened the door, expecting his father to leave him to it but to his horror he dragged Jesse inside and made a point of sitting him down in an empty seat.

‘I’m sorry Mr?’ Adam spoke up.

‘Mr White,’ Mr White answered with confusion clear on his face, not appreciating his class being disrupted.

‘Mr White, Jesse was delayed at the principal’s office, but all should be good now, right?’ Adam stared at Jesse, who felt all levels of humiliation feelings the stares of his classmates hiding their snickers.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse mumbled and got his books out. ‘Get out of here already, Dad!’ he snapped.

Adam Pinkman swiftly left the classroom and after a moment of hesitation Mr White continued his class. Jesse just stared blankly at the board, completely lost on what was being discussed, and no one was offering any assistance in sharing what chapter they were reading so Jesse just sat there feeling like a complete idiot. He instead used the time to compose himself, his face still burning from the humiliation, he wanted to scream feeling trapped in his own nightmare.

He didn’t notice Mr White until he was stood right by his desk. ‘It’s chapter nine, page 96,’ Mr White informed him quietly as the rest of the class worked on a task he had set, that Jesse had completely missed. ‘It’s ok, just read this passage, then this one, and this one and the question I’ve set on the board should be easy to answer, ok?’

‘Thanks,’ Jesse said with a genuine air, and he made the effort to read the parts Mr White had pointed out. It took him a moment for his eyes to focus on the text but then to his amazement he was able to answer the question that had been set. Once he was done, he was surprised to find that he finished only a little behind the others, thanks to Mr White’s help.

‘Ok, class dismissed, leave your papers on your desk and Pinkman, if you can just stay back for a moment,’ Mr White asked.

Just when Jesse was feeling a tiny bit good about his efforts he was being held back again and faced a new barrage of stares and whispers aimed at him.

Jesse let his shoulders slump as he sat waiting for Mr White to finish his tidying up, then he watched as the old man walked over. He had no real problem with Mr White, he seemed to at least notice him for more than just his apparent bad behaviour, like how he helped in in class earlier but he was still an adult, so still a dick as far as Jesse was concerned.

‘Is everything ok?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse returned, avoiding eye contact.

‘I probably don’t have to tell you that your grades in this class are slipping,’ Mr White advised.

‘I know,’ Jesse responded.

‘I’m hearing your name a lot recently in terms of behaviour,’ Mr White crossed his arms now.

Jesse just shrugged unsure how else to respond.

‘I saw you the other day, by the playing fields with a group of older kids smoking,’ Mr White informed him, and Jesse’s eyes snapped up to meet Mr Whites. ‘Wasn’t me,’ he denied.

‘Maybe I was mistaken then,’ Mr White offered.

‘Don’t tell my dad, please,’ Jesse then added.

Mr White offered a small smile. ‘Just try a little harder, Pinkman, apply yourself a little more and it all might be a little better for you.’

‘I will, Mr White,’ Jesse agreed, feeling relieved that Mr White hadn’t torn him to shreds over the smoking.

‘Jesse, are you coming?’ Jesse’s dad’s voice was heard before he was seen. ‘Oh, sorry Mr White, I thought Jesse was just being his normal stupid self and taking his time!’ Adam Pinkman stated with a fake smile, as he popped his head around the door.

‘No, no, Jesse was just asking me some interesting questions, due to missing some of the class,’ Mr White smiled, glancing at Jesse to indicate he should play along.

‘I think I got the answer right, Mr White,’ Jesse pushed his paper towards Mr White, who picked it up and read his answer.

‘This is very good, a good understanding, Pinkman, well done,’ Mr White offered, and Jesse beamed at the praise, whilst his father looked at odds.

‘Yeah, well done,’ Adam agreed. ‘But come on, I need to get your brother to his toddler swimming lessons and we’re already late because of you,’ Adam said and dragged Jesse by the arm.

Mr White frowned at the father’s actions, then proceeded to pick up the rest of the sheets.

* * *

Jesse sat at the top of the stairs, he could smell the food coming from the dining room but once again his father had stated that unless he could finish his homework, to a level his father was satisfied with, he would go without. There was no way to get from the stairs to the kitchen without being seen from the dining room, so Jesse just sat, holding his stomach in the hope an opportunity would present itself.

‘The school would be perfect for Jake, so much better than the dump Jesse goes to, you saw the brochure,’ His mother’s voice was then heard by Jesse.

This wasn’t the first time he had heard his parents talking about sending Jake to the hugely expensive private school across town, he just couldn’t fathom how they could ever afford it. Only his father worked and it was just some accountancy middle grade job downtown, he didn’t even have a company car but they seemed to think if they tightened the purse strings, they might be able to get by and it would be worth it so Jake didn’t turn out to be the complete disappointed that he was turning into.

Jesse suddenly wasn’t hungry and returned quietly to his room, he sat down once again at his desk and made an effort to make some sense of the geography homework he had in front of him. After two minutes of intense focus Jesse threw his head back and stared at the ceiling, he felt the pull of wanting a cigarette but he had none, and with no money he wasn’t going to get any anytime soon. In the past his friends would throw him a couple of sticks, but he hadn’t seen them for a while, it seemed like they were avoiding him now he officially was his school year’s loser.

He was going stir crazy in the room, the homework was taunting him, so he jumped up and shimmied his window up. Looking out he baulked at the drop and looked at his options, he had never escaped this way before, hadn’t had to but he needed to get some air and some time away from his stupid life for five minutes. He saw the drainpipe running alongside his window and a couple of well-placed bricks that jutted out slightly, that could enable him to utilise the small outreach, climbing onto that would then be a smaller jump down right in front of the gate and to freedom, no one would ever know he was gone and he was confident he could shimmy back up via the same route.

Not wanting to dwell on the many ways this could go wrong and he could get hurt, Jesse climbed onto the window sill and navigated the path with light footed ease, before jumping down to the ground and making his escape. He did his hoodie up and wrapped his arms around himself as he walked in the brisk air of the night time, the streets were dark and there were few people about, giving Jesse some space to breath and just feel some freedom for the first time in a long while.

There was nowhere specific he could go, most places were shut for the night and it was too far to walk into town or to the nearest decent shop, so he just walked aimlessly, enjoying the fresh air and already feeling his head clear a little. The fear of his room being discovered empty danced on the edges of his nerves but he tried to remain calm, telling himself he deserved this rest bite. Another five minutes passed before his attention was drawn to small group of people sat on a stoop in front of a darkened house. Instinctively he ignored them, being strangers, but he saw the cigarette smoke surrounding them and was struck by the need. He crossed the street to see if he could get a better look at them, already knowing they probably represented the very people his parents always warned him about but he was growing so tired of their control he felt up for doing some actual rebelling that he was always being accused of doing.

‘Excuse me,’ Jesse spoke up once he was close enough. ‘Can you shout me a cigarette?’

‘How old are you?’

‘Eighteen,’ Jesse lied.

‘You look a bit young to be eighteen, are you sure, yo?’ the man didn’t feel threatening, he had a goatee and tattoos that looked pretty cool. He wore a similar style hoody to the one Jesse was wearing, but he could see his fingers were black with grime that kept him a little bit unsure.

‘Yeah, just haven’t got any cash and I need a smoke, yo,’ Jesse sounded as casual as he could.

‘Sure, thing then brother,’ the man smiled. ‘Take a pew, you look tired.’

‘Thanks,’ Jesse accepted the cigarette, and sat on the bottom step as another man offered him a light. Jesse was thankful he was already passed the coughing part of smoking, inhaling the nicotine like his life depended on it.

‘Not seen you around these parts before, you new in town?’

‘Lived here all my life, just finally broke free of the ‘rents, yo,’ Jesse offered, savouring his smoke.

‘Aw, to be that young again, just venturing out into the world,’ the man grinned. ‘Hey, my name is Samson, this fine fella is Jackson, and to your left is Wylie Cayote,’ Samson introduced.

Jesse greeted each person in turn and felt a genuine warmth from all of them. Samson lived up to his name, he looked tough and had a strong presence about him, a natural leader, whilst Jackson just looked like he was muscle from head to toe, but had a smile that was infectious, his dreadlocks just added the cool factor to the mix and then Wylie Coyote was an unknown quantity, he seemed both asleep and awake at the same time, and clearly lived on the streets looking at the condition of the clothes he wore.

‘You look like you needed that friend,’ Samson offered after a moment.

‘Yeah, I did like you wouldn’t believe, yo,’ Jesse agreed, taking another drag.

‘You just smoke the baccy, yeah?’

‘Er, yeah,’ Jesse answered.

‘Good, try and keep it that way, seen too many young guns fall doing the hard stuff too soon, be careful on these streets brother,’ Samson warned.

Jesse smirked, the thought that he was being seen as one of them, of the streets, amused him greatly but at the same time it felt nice and relaxed, like he belonged and it was appealing in comparison to his reality. ‘I like your ink,’ he remarked, looking at a dragon on Samson’s forearm.

‘My friend did this I could hook you up if you want?’ Samson offered.

Jesse genuinely laughed out loud. ‘Maybe one day.’

‘Let me know, yo,’ Samson agreed.

Jesse finished his cigarette and got to his feet. ‘I better be going, thanks for the smoke,’ Jesse smiled.

‘Anytime, maybe see you around again?’ Samson stated. ‘You won’t find better pieces of crap on the street than us, so don’t be a stranger.’

Jesse smiled at the invitation and waved before walking away at pace, feeling good, it had been nice to just have a chat with people who weren’t on his case or mocking him. He reached his house quicker than he wanted but with some planning he was able to deftly navigate the route back up to his open window and he jumped back inside, removing his hoodie and sitting back at his desk.

With newly found focus Jesse looked at the Geography homework and relaxed as he began to put answers down, referring a few times to the textbook he had to hand. He was going great guns when the door to his room opened and his father walked in, there were no cookies this time he noticed, still feeling hungry as his cigarette effects slowly wore off and he noticed his hunger more.

‘How’s it going? You didn’t come down to dinner and I see you are still working,’ his father asked, he seemed at least pleased to see Jesse hadn’t fallen asleep this time.

‘OK, I guess, just took some time to research,’ he offered, gesturing to the book.

Adam took the paper Jesse had been writing on and read his work so far, he seemed pleased until he froze suddenly. ‘Can I smell cigarettes?’

Shit, Jesse internally panicked. ‘Er, no,’ Jesse immediately said.

‘Stand up!’ His dad barked, and Jesse reluctantly stood up and his dad took a deep breath, he then moved to Jesse’s hoody resting on his bed and inhaled. ‘Cigarette smoke!’

He then frantically started to search the pockets of hoody, before moving around the room opening the draws, Jesse relaxed a little at least knowing he wouldn’t find anything and he stood idly by as his dad turned his room upside down. ‘Yo, you won’t find anything, man.’

‘Yo?’ Adam turned and glared at his son. ‘Yo?’ he questioned again. ‘You think you’re smart do you, you think you can talk like that to me, your father?’ his father demanded.

Jesse shrunk back, whatever benefits his earlier exploits had filled him with instantly dashed as he avoided his father’s glare. ‘Sorry,’ he offered.

‘Tell me the truth, Jesse, did you smoke a cigarette this evening?’ his father demanded. ‘And don’t lie to me.’

Jesse felt the pressure, he rapidly tried to think of any possible excuse for why he stank of cigarettes bar the truth, but nothing came to mind and with a gulp, he whispered. ‘Yeah.’

Jesse felt his father grab him by his shirt and physically throw him across the floor, and he crashed into his dresser crying out as he hit the half open drawers.

‘You think you’re the big man now, hey?’ Adam yelled. ‘You think it’s cool to smoke, is that it?’ Adam reached down and dragged Jesse back up to his feet and slapped him hard. ‘Are you on some mission to ruin your life, huh?’ Adam demanded. ‘What more can we do for you to have you just throw it back into our faces? You’re a brat, a worthless, pointless idiot that will amount to nothing, smoking’s too good for you!’ Adam yelled losing any control he had as he brought his fist to Jesse’s face, sending him back against his bed.

Jesse landed heavily against the bed, losing consciousness before he landed and then limply sinking to the floor. Adam took some deep breaths and then took stock of the sight of Jesse out cold, and panic seemed to overtake him, he knelt down quickly.

‘Jesse,’ His father spoke with panic, seeing the blood pouring down his face now. ‘Diane!’ he yelled. ‘Diane get in here!’ he yelled again.

‘What is it-‘ Diane asked as she hurried into the room and then took in the sight and froze. ‘What did you do?’

‘What did I do?’ Adam stressed. ‘I was trying to control him, the kid is a maniac, he was high on drugs!’

‘What?’ Diane questioned.

‘Did you know he smoked?’ Adam asked.

‘Smokes?’ Diane was trying to take it all in. ‘I’ll get the first aid kit.’

Jesse began to stir and on seeing his father he blindly panicked and tried to get away from him. ‘Hey, hey, it’s ok, son, it’s ok, I won’t hurt you,’ Adam assured him, and Jesse stopped struggling as his father got a strong hold on him.

‘Oh Jesse, look at you,’ his mother fussed as she returned with the first aid kit. ‘What did you do to get your father so worked up?’

Jesse didn’t speak, looking too traumatised.

‘Tell her, Jesse, tell her what you did,’ his father then spoke up.

Jesse glanced at his dad, not daring to test him again. ‘I, I smoked,’ he stammered.

‘And how long have you been smoking?’ Diane asked calmly.

‘It’s only been a couple, just to try,’ Jesse lied, but he felt happier talking to his mom.

‘And was it disgusting, something you never want to try again, right?’ Diane asked.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse stated, his breathing finally settling down, but now he could feel the pain of his face and groaned tiredly.

‘I think we should take him to the emergency room, he might need stitches,’ Diane suggested to Adam.

Jesse relaxed, he liked this attention so savoured it a little despite the circumstances, his mother was taking care of him and it felt nice.

‘They will ask too many questions,’ Adam stated. ‘And he hasn’t finished his homework.’

‘Are you serious, Adam, look at him,’ Diane stressed, and Jesse groaned as he continued to lay on the floor, and his mom cleaned up his face. ‘I think he needs to be checked, he looks pale, I think you went too far this time!’

‘He’s fine, he’s just playing you like he always does,’ Adam dismissed.

‘Jesse, sit up love, come on,’ Diane encouraged, but Jesse protested, it hurt to move, and he liked the attention she was given him lying on the floor.

‘Jesse stop being a baby and sit up!’ his dad barked, and Jesse groaned as he forced himself up with some effort, he paused as the room spun a little. ‘Jesse!’ his dad snapped, and Jesse flinched suddenly.

‘Adam, get out!’ Diane raised her voice. ‘Check that Jake has gone to sleep!’

The moment his dad had left the room Jesse let out a sob, the relief of his father no longer looming over him too great for him to supress.

‘It’s ok,’ Diane reached forward and embraced him, and Jesse clung to her as he sobbed, after a minute or two Jesse pulled away and numbly tried to stand up, Diane gave him the space he needed as he got his balance and he walked over to his desk. ‘Oh, Jesse, you don’t have to do your homework, it’s fine love.’

‘No, I will finish it,’ Jesse mumbled, and he landed heavily in his chair and leaned on the table. The sheet looked blurry as he focused on it.

His mother walked over and put her hand on his back, she rubbed it gently. ‘He just wants you to do your best, Jesse. You know you get distracted, easily led,’ she soothed. ‘What were you thinking, smoking?’ she chastised.

‘Yeah, it’s my own fault he hits me, I get it,’ Jesse managed as he tried to finish his homework.

‘Are you hungry?’ Diane asked.

‘Starving,’ Jesse admitted.

‘I’ll go make you a quick bite to eat,’ Diane smiled and quickly left the room.

Alone, Jesse clenched his eyes shut, his head hurt to the point of distraction. He wiped his eyes and then his nose, noticing blood on his hand but dismissed it only taking care not to get any blood on his homework. He was on the final question and he reread the question, something about the poles, a two-way bet on it being north or south, he opted for South not really caring now, his homework was done.

He took some measured breathes, his eyelids felt heavy and for the second night in a row he gently rested his head on the desk and was asleep in seconds.


	2. The first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wake of being hit by his father, Jesse returns to see his new friends and experiences something life changing, but things rapidly change on his return home

The next morning Jesse woke up to a cold egg sandwich sitting next to him and he groaned, his head still hurt. Next to the egg sandwich were two pills and a glass of water, that he rapidly took without hesitation.

‘Jesse!’ a cry up the stairs from his mother sounded. ‘If you don’t leave in the next five minutes you’ll be late for school and you can’t risk another late mark!’

‘Jeez mom, I’m fine after my maniac dad clubbed me last night, thanks for asking,’ Jesse seethed to himself as he packed his bag, taking care to add the homework he had almost killed himself to complete. He quickly dashed to the bathroom to freshen up, ditching his bloodied t-shirt and checked out his half-closed black eye. ‘Well that will need a lie to cover up,’ Jesse frowned.

Retrieving a fresh t-shirt and putting on his hoody, Jesse hurried down the stairs where his mom was waiting, she grabbed hold of him and flinched on seeing his face. ‘You walked into a door, ok, sweetie?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse replied. ‘Hey, I’m going to go and see Aunt Ginny after school, is that ok?’

‘I guess, make sure you do your homework there, and I’ll pick you up at 8pm, ok?’ Diane stated.

‘Great,’ Jesse agreed and hurried towards the door.

‘Are you sure you’re ok?’ She then asked.

‘Like that matters?’ Jesse dismissed and slammed the door.

Jesse walked at speed along the street determined not to be late, and he reached the gate just before the teacher on duty did, and hurried inside. His hood was covering his face as he walked through the crowded corridors and to his first lesson. He took his usual seat towards the back of the classroom, and sat down, finally able to relax as he let his bag drop to the floor and took a moment to recover his breath, he felt hot and clammy so took off his hoody to cool down.

‘Whoa, Jesse whose fist did you make friends with?’ the pupil beside him asked.

‘None of your business,’ Jesse responded and took his time getting his books out of his bag.

‘Have your homework ready to collect,’ the teacher announced and began to walk around the class collecting the sheets of paper. She stopped at Jesse’s desk, taking his paper but she didn’t move. ‘Jesse, you’re not looking too good, are you ok?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse nodded his head.

‘Ok, you let me know if that changes,’ the teacher offered and Jesse just closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain he felt in his head.

* * *

‘Is that you Jesse?’

‘Yeah, it’s me Aunt Ginny, I’ve let myself in, remember you gave me a key?’ Jesse called out, he went to the fridge and grabbed a can of coke.

‘Well isn’t this a nice surprise,’ Ginny walked into the kitchen but then stopped. ‘What the hell happened to your face?’

‘Got into a fight, I lost,’ Jesse answered. ‘It’s ok, looks worse than it is.’

Ginny moved closer and put her hand on Jesse’s chin to look at the damage. ‘My poor sweet boy, that looks painful, is it painful?’

Jesse just shrugged. ‘I had a headache earlier, but it’s gone now,’ he answered.

‘Are you hungry?’

‘Like you wouldn’t believe,’ Jesse enthused.

‘You look like you haven’t eaten for a week,’ Ginny observed.

‘I haven’t,’ Jesse scoffed. ‘Dad’s got this new rule, if I don’t do my homework by a certain time, I can’t have dinner and you know I suck at homework,’ Jesse sighed.

‘Well that’s ridiculous, a growing boy has to eat!’ Ginny snapped.

‘Yeah, well seems my education is more important than my actual survival,’ Jesse replied.

‘I’m going to cook you up a big bowl of mac and cheese, how does that sound?’

‘Like a dream,’ Jesse half smiled. ‘Hey Auntie, can you shout me some cash, they’ve stopped my allowance again,’ he whined.

‘I don’t have much sweetie, but I’ll take a look later,’ Ginny answered.

‘I hate asking,’ Jesse admitted, as he dived into his bag and took out the ever-present pill bottle, absently taking two with his coke.

‘So, who really did that to your face? Be honest with me, Jesse,’ Ginny asked as she put the pan onto the boil and retrieved the bag of pasta.

Jesse rubbed the undamaged side of his face. ‘I’d rather not talk about it,’ he sighed.

‘Was it him again?’ Ginny pushed.

‘Don’t make me say it, ok, you know what happened last time, I didn’t see you for a month,’ Jesse stressed.

‘That man is a snake, he’s the reason I fell out with my sister,’ she stated. ‘Your mother and I used to be so close, before he came along, now thinks the world owes him something,’ Ginny complained.

‘He’s my dad, Aunt Ginny, he’s just trying to make me better, I can’t help it that I’m a stupid idiot,’ Jesse answered.

‘Now look here, you are not an idiot, Jesse,’ Ginny stated. ‘You might have the name Pinkman but you have Harper blood in those veins, and we are not idiots, we are adventurers, you hear me?’

Jesse smirked. ‘He found out I smoke,’ he admitted.

‘For the love of God, and he did that to you in reaction? The man is out of control,’ Ginny frowned and reached into her pocket, she took out a cigarette and handed it to Jesse. ‘Don’t kill yourself.’ She took one for herself and lit it, before offering Jesse a light.

‘I wish you were my mom,’ Jesse remarked and missed the pained expression Ginny threw him.

Ginny moved closer to Jesse, brushing the side of Jesse’s face affectionately. ‘Please, don’t say that, your mom and dad love you, they just have a few screws loose is all.’

‘Since Jake arrived, they don’t give a shit about me, you know that,’ Jesse argued, taking a drag on his cigarette, finally relaxing after a tough day.

‘He just takes up more time, they’re old parents with a toddler, give them a break,’ Ginny smiled, it looked wicked at the angle Jesse saw it at.

‘They are still talking about sending the brat to that rich school out west,’ Jesse remarked.

‘How will they ever afford that?’

‘Well doesn’t look like I’ll need my college fund so there’s always that for the first year at least,’ Jesse shrugged.

‘They can’t take that away from you, you need something to get you started in life,’ Ginny looked livid at the suggestion.

‘Well, doesn’t look like I’ll need it,’ Jesse looked distance. ‘I’m beyond help, they even got me those vitamins to help and makes no difference,’ Jesse remarked, taking a long drag.

‘I ask that you do just one thing for me Jesse, I want you to graduate and I want you to rub it in their faces when you do, can you do that for me?’ Ginny asked.

Inwardly Jesse wanted to cry, more pressure to not be dumb at school but he could appreciate her sentiment. ‘I’ll see what I can do, but no promises, yo.’

Aunt Ginny gave him her brightest smile as Jesse enjoyed the last bit of his cigarette and then once finished, he pulled out his chemistry and history homework and started to work on it as Ginny prepared him a meal.

* * *

Jesse sat on the floor of his room, it had just gone nine and he had been picked up from Ginny at 8pm as planned. His mother never came into the house, he would just leave and get in the car, no pleasantries and his mother never asked after her sister. If Jesse was honest, he loved his aunt more than his parents, she seemed to understand him better than his own parents and seemed to just enjoy his company unlike his parents.

Sat alone, he could hear Jake making adorable playful noises, but he knew it was a waste of time trying to join in. He’d be sent away, told to stop endangering his kid brother, something he would do would make one or both parents scream at him to return to his room so lately he just stayed in his room all the time to play safe.

He heard someone coming up the stairs and he couldn’t help but freeze, this reaction was a recent development, but he really didn’t feel wanted or safe in the house anymore, especially after last night. The door opened, no knocking, and he was never allowed to lock it, so he just braced himself.

‘What are you doing sitting on the floor in the dark?’ his father asked.

‘Thinking,’ Jesse mumbled.

‘Is your homework done?’

‘It’s on the desk, I did it at Aunt Ginny’s house,’ Jesse gestured.

‘I see,’ his father took the two sheets of paper and studied them. ‘Well you got two of these answers wrong, but the fact this shows some effort I guess is the best we can expect,’ he remarked. ‘Stand up.’

Jesse sighed and got to his feet and flinched when his dad held his chin and looked at his face. ‘Has it stopped hurting?’

‘A bit, yeah,’ Jesse answered.

‘The swelling is going down,’ His dad observed. ‘I’m sorry I lashed out like I did.’

Jesse had heard his apologies before, and learnt they meant nothing. Things wouldn’t change and even though he hadn’t quite lost control like that before, he knew now that he had done it once, and got away with it, it would likely happen again.

‘Do you need any food? I think we had some leftover that can be reheated,’ His dad asked, finally letting go of Jesse’s face.

‘No, Aunt Ginny cooked me a meal,’ Jesse answered.

‘Have you taken all your vitamins today?’ His dad asked. ‘You know it’s important you don’t miss any.’

‘Yeah, will take the next two before bed,’ Jesse answered. ‘I don’t think they’re working, though, everything is still a struggle.’

‘Give it time, but maybe we should up the dose,’ his father remarked. ‘I’ll talk to the supplier and see what they suggest.’

‘Tell them it makes my head fuzzy,’ Jesse added.

‘See that’s the problem right there, you’re fighting them, let them do their work, Jesse,’ His father stressed. ‘It’s for your own good.’

‘I don’t mean to, I don’t even know how I am if I am,’ Jesse responded with confusion.

His father looked at him with annoyance. ‘You really make life difficult, Jesse, just go to bed, at least try and be nice and rested for school tomorrow,’ his dad suggested.

‘Sure, I’ll do that,’ Jesse agreed and saw the surprise on his father’s face. ‘Hey, say goodnight to mom for me, I’ll be asleep when she comes up and I don’t want her to wake me, I’m feeling pretty tired.’

‘I will, you get some rest, you do look like you need it,’ his dad seemed at odds, maybe he’d been expecting an objection or a request to play video games, but Jesse only wanted one thing, to be left alone so he could escape again.

He watched his dad leave the room, closing the door and after waiting a few minutes frozen to the spot Jesse grabbed his hoodie, and opened his window.

* * *

‘Hey, my friend, who do I have to kill for hitting you?’ Samson asked as Jesse greeted him.

‘You should see the other guy,’ Jesse grinned, happy to have found his new friends again in the same place.

‘That’s quite a shiner,’ Jackson remarked as he greeted Jesse. ‘Good to see you again, mysterious youth who appears in the night.’

‘Who’s this handsome fella, you been hiding him from me, Samson?’ a female voice asked, she had been sitting the other side of Samson, and Jesse hadn’t noticed her.

‘Oh hi,’ Jesse stammered. ‘Jesse,’ he offered his hand.

‘Well ain’t you as cute as button, how old are you?’

‘Julie get down, leave the kid alone,’ Samson smiled.

‘I’m eighteen, yo,’ Jesse kept up the lie.

‘You look about twelve,’ Julie remarked.

‘I aint no kid,’ Jesse returned with attitude.

‘Oh, really?’ Julie smiled like a predator now.

‘Julie, that wasn’t a challenge,’ Samson smirked. ‘Look, Jesse, you got a chance to stop this now if you don’t want her to test you out, if you know what I mean?’

‘What?’ Jesse asked unsure.

‘Julie likes to test new blood, you are new blood, hey it’s your call but if you don’t fancy it just say now, ok?’ Samson stated sincerely.

Jesse was dumbstruck, was he saying what he thought he was saying. He had never got close to a girl before, everyone at school through he was a nerd or still a little boy, not yet cooked one girl had said because he’d been a late bloomer but the past year had changed all that and now Jesse was terrified but excited at the same time, he was desperate to lose the virgin tag and it was being presented to him on a plate, who cared how it happened.

‘I think he wants you darling,’ Jackson encouraged.

Julie purred as she got to her feet and put her hands onto Jesse’s shoulders with conviction, forcing him to sit down on the top step. ‘Are you sure you’re eighteen, I’m no cradle snatcher.’

‘I don’t have any ID to prove it,’ Jesse managed, finding it hard to remain coherent as he sat down with Julie looming over him. His mind was racing, panic and excitement clashing with this woman seemingly wanting him. ‘Are we doing it here?’ he then managed before taking a moment to really look at Julie. She looked immaculate, stunning in fact. Striking long red hair, clearly dyed, flowed around her face which was flawless, Jesse felt like he was looking at a movie actress but he daren’t look below her chin, he wasn’t that brave.

‘You got a better idea?’ Julie asked cutting through his thoughts.

‘Don’t worry, we won’t look,’ Samson joked from the steps below them, his and Jackson’s back to them, Jesse was only covered by the darkness of shadow from the house on the top step.

‘Here is fine then,’ Jesse offered, his voice shaky.

Julie leaned in close. ‘Have you done this before? Don’t be shy, I just like to know, adds to the experience, you seem a little nervous.’

Jesse considered lying again but this was too important to him, he wanted to enjoy the experience and not feel he had to prove anything. ‘No,’ he admitted.

‘Wow, I really do have a fresh one, I’ll go easy on you, you’re too pretty to damage, even with that back eye,’ Julie smiled ‘And this one will be on the house.’

‘Are you a-‘ Jesse couldn’t bring himself to say the word.

‘An experienced professional? I sure am, honey, so enjoy,’ Julie purred, she still hadn’t touched him, but Jesse could feel he was already rock hard. She finally leaned forward and brushed his lips, it felt electric, and he eagerly returned it, his tongue flitted into her warm mouth and he couldn’t believe he was kissing a lady.

‘Oh, you are a natural,’ Julie pulled away giving him a boost in his confidence. She then reached for the button on his jeans and slowly undid it, followed by lowering the zip. ‘Are you ready captain?’

Jesse just nodded his head with anticipation flowing through him, he scooted up so she could lower his baggy jeans and then his boxers followed swiftly. ‘Oh you are not a little boy, are you,’ Julie looked hungry as she started to lick the underside of his dick and Jesse felt like he had been shocked, using all his energy to stop him shooting his load too soon.

‘Oh my god,’ Jesse panted once she got a steady rhythm going and Jesse had never felt anything like it, it was amazing and he couldn’t believe the sensations erupting inside of him as she relentlessly blew him. Finally, he couldn’t hold on any longer and she took every last drop, as he collapsed back into the doorway. She climbed up and kissed him, he could taste himself but didn’t care he felt amazing. She rubbed her hands over his chest under his t-shirt, pinching his nipples and making him feel so good, she then took his hands and put them on her stomach.

‘Go on, I know you want to,’ She smiled warmly.

Jesse hesitated a bit as his hands went under her shiny top, he felt the outline of her rib cage and then the softness of her breasts, she wore no bra giving him complete access and they felt so soft and warm to his touch. His hands then grabbed them, feeling the nipples and like she had done to him he pinched them, and she groaned before leaning down, she lifted her top up and Jesse didn’t hesitate now to take her left nipple in his mouth and suck, as he continued to massage the other one.

Whilst he was distracted she had shuffled up, his cock already hard again and before he knew what was happening she was grabbing it and lining him up, instinctively he pushed his hips up and then she sat back up and Jesse realised he was fully inside and his mind exploded all over again with the sensation, it was so warm and tight. Forgetting to breath Jesse bucked into her and it took a moment for them to match their pace but once they did it became the most frantic minute of his life, the intensity nearly overwhelmed him as her own moans of delight turned him on even more.

No longer a boy he thought, but a man, he had reached the promised land and his life would never be the same again he realised, he wanted this, more of this and he was loving the amazing things it did to him. He shot his load, panicking momentarily as he wasn’t wearing protection but she didn’t seem to care, so he quickly dismissed that concern and instead wearily let the after-shocks overwhelm him, exhausted but happy Jesse just lay there in bliss.

‘Well ain’t you a little delight,’ Julie smiled broadly. ‘For your first time, that was pretty good, captain,’ she kissed him one more time before adjusting her clothes.

‘What’s with captain?’ Jesse tiredly asked.

‘I like to give me favourites pet names,’ Julie whispered. ‘You come and go in the night, so I imagine you have a star ship, yeah, to take me away and explore new worlds?’

Jesse laughed. ‘Yeah, whatever you want,’ he grinned.

Jesse wanted to bask for a little longer in the afterglow, not caring that he was exposed to the elements, the shadows were protecting him, giving him a few moments of happiness. He did snap to his sense with Jackson was suddenly beside him.

‘Look at you all fucked up like a big man,’ Jackson smiled. ‘Do you mind if I have a taste, you can say no.’

Jesse was unsure but his brain just wanted to experience the touch again and he just nodded his head numbly, even though he really was in two minds. Fascinated he watched as Jackson’s strong black hand started to pump his flaccid cock, but the sensations were just as good as before. His body shivered as he felt himself hardening again, this was too much he thought but he didn’t want it to stop. Seeing Jackson’s mouth take his cock was the fucking sexiest thing he had ever seen, and he no longer cared that it was guy pleasuring him.

He only lasted a few more seconds but it was still amazing and Jackson didn’t seem to complain, he seemed happy that Jesse had granted him a go, Jesse felt so good and he didn’t want it to end, almost disappointed when Samson didn’t take a turn. Reluctantly he tidied himself away and pushed his t-shirt back down and took up a place next to Samson on the steps below.

‘Do you feel like a man now?’ Samson asked, putting his arm around Jesse’s shoulders.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse smiled, feeling a little embarrassed.

‘It was a beautiful thing to witness,’ Samson grinned.

‘You said you wouldn’t watch,’ Jesse smirked, but his face flushed red.

‘You must be on cloud nine now, kid, but stick with me now, those two will eat you alive if you let them, you need protecting my friend, there are monsters out there that would do nasty things to you if you let them,’ Samson warned. ‘So, I’ll ask again, who hit you?’

Jesse was feeling too good to let reality back in just yet. ‘It was just a stupid fight, I get in them all the time,’ he dismissed.

‘Why so angry?’ Samson asked.

‘More like stupid,’ Jesse frowned but said no more.

Samson lit up a joint and decided to let the matter drop, allowing Jesse to enjoy the bliss he was feeling. Once he had taken a long drag, he offered the joint to Jesse, who hesitated before he took it.

‘Take it slow, savour it, it’s not like a cigarette, don’t rush it,’ he encouraged.

Jesse felt a pang of nerves but considering what he’d just done he felt he was on a roll for firsts and he did as instructed, slowly and carefully he savoured his first hit. ‘Aw, man,’ Jesse soon melted back into the step, the sensations were unreal as his felt himself floating.

Samson took the joint from Jesse whilst laughing at Jesse’s reactions. ‘You are a sensitive soul, you know that, a natural.’ He took another drag before passing it back.

Jesse rested back against the steps, in that moment life was perfect as he took another drag and loving the sensations as they hit all the right spots, he suddenly began to giggle.

‘What’s so funny,’ Samson asked as he took the joint back.

‘I have no idea, but man I’m happy,’ Jesse smiled broadly. ‘That stuff is the bomb, man.’

Samson put his hand on Jesse’s shoulder and rubbed it fondly. ‘You, my friend, have become a man right in front of my eyes tonight.’

‘If this is what adulthood is then I’m all in, they never mentioned this in school,’ he giggled, doubling up on the steps.

‘What’s got him tickled?’ Jackson then asked, as he returned to the steps with Julie behind him.

‘I have no idea, but he’s just taken his first puffs of the good stuff,’ Samson smiled.

Jackson sat down next to Jesse, putting his arm around his shoulders and Jesse leaned into him without any encouragement.

‘Oh, hang on, we have a snuggler,’ Jackson exclaimed laughing as Jesse got comfortable.

‘He is a sweetheart,’ Julie now spoke up as she took a seat on the top step. ‘Where’d you find this one Sammy?’

‘I didn’t, this one found us,’ Samsom stated.

‘What’s his story?’ Julie asked.

‘Nobody knows,’ Samson returned and leaned back against the steps. ‘He’s a little mystery.’

‘He’s fallen asleep and I’m not going anywhere now, am I? Yeps, that me here for the night, all plans cancelled,’ Jackson laughed stroking Jesse’s hair with affection.

‘I’m not asleep, yo,’ Jesse mumbled, and tiredly pushed himself up. ‘But I best go,’ he stated and staggered to his feet, needing Jackson’s assistance.

‘You sure you’re ok to be walking?’ Samson checked.

‘Yeah, I’m good,’ Jesse confirmed with an inane grin and walked to the sidewalk. ‘Thanks, it’s been amazing,’ he said with a genuine smile.

‘See you around, Captain,’ Julie smiled sweetly.

The others waved him off and Jesse blinked his eyes a few times to stay focused, rubbing his face as he staggered. He was soon only a block away from home when blue lights flashed around him, and a quick burst of a siren stopped him. Squinting and using his hand to protect his eyes, he turned and saw a cop car.

‘Shit,’ Jesse frowned and didn’t move as he saw a cop approach.

‘It’s Jesse, right? Jesse Pinkman? Adam’s boy?’ the cop asked, and Jesse shrugged before nodding his head. ‘Get in the back, I’ll take you the rest of the way.’

‘Yo, it’s just down there I can walk it, I’m fine,’ Jesse protested weakly.

‘Get in,’ the cop stated.

Jesse did a heavy sigh but didn’t argue any further, following the cop as he opened the back door and Jesse got in. The cop returned to the driver’s seat and started up the car.

‘What are you doing walking the streets at this time? Do your parents know you’re out?’ the cop asked.

‘It’s like 10pm,’ Jesse returned.

‘Try 2am.’

‘What? Really?’ Jesse blinked his eyes with surprise.

‘What were you doing to lose track of time, or should I just take an educated guess?’ the cop asked.

‘Just hanging with friends,’ Jesse answered.

‘You got school tomorrow I presume?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse realised.

‘I’m guessing your parents won’t be pleased when I knock on their door at this hour,’ the cop stated.

Jesse panicked as that realisation sobered him up. ‘Please, just let me go back inside, don’t make a big deal of this, it won’t happen again I promise.’

‘Sorry kid, I find you high as a kite, at 2am walking the streets I can’t ignore that, you’re in the same year as my kid in school so you’re what, fifteen?’ The cop explained. ‘Kid, that’s not normal.’

‘I’m not high,’ Jesse protested.

‘Sure, your pupils are naturally that size and you normally walk like a drunk?’ the cop asked as they pulled up outside the house, which was all dark. ‘Doesn’t look like they realise you are not at home.’ The cop heard a couple of quiet sobs from the back. ‘Sorry, kid, I have to do my job.’

The cop got out of the car and locked the doors, he walked up the house and rang the doorbell. Slowly lights turned on in the house and eventually the door opened with Adam Pinkman greeting the officer.

Jesse tried the doors in vain and was trapped, he saw the cop approach and tried to make himself smaller, fearing how his father would react. The door opened and the cop ordered him to get out, but Jesse was too scared to move, fearing the worst.

‘Hey, c’mon kid, get out, it’s ok, he’s not angry just relieved you are ok,’ the cop assured him.

‘No, please,’ Jesse returned, working himself up as he loudly sniffed.

‘Hey,’ the cop moved into the back. ‘C’mon, it’s ok, we know what it’s like to be a teenager, we were both your age once.’

Jesse remained where he was, he could hear his father calling his name wondering what was taking so long, realising he was probably making things worse by not moving, he reluctantly made to move. The cop then stopped him, checking his face. ‘Who hit you?’

‘It was just an accident, a door,’ Jesse mumbled.

‘A door?’ the cop asked.

Jesse remained silent but eventually the cop got out allowing Jesse to exit, slowly Jesse walked up to the front door and grimaced as his father put an arm around his shoulders.

‘It’s not safe for a kid his age to be out at this time, but don’t be too hard on him, he didn’t cause any problems,’ the cop smiled, then looked at Jesse. ‘Take a lesson from this, yeah? Don’t let me see you on the streets again without good reason,’ the cop brushed the top of Jesse’s head and walked back to his car.

Adam steered Jesse into the house and led him through the kitchen where he sat him down at the kitchen table, his mother was already making him a hot milk.

‘Care to explain?’ his father finally asked. ‘How did you get out of the house?’

Jesse battled with his emotions, having gone from such an amazing high to this moment was a crash he hadn’t wanted. He withheld the need to cry with frustration, just felt an overwhelming sadness at how crap his reality was, he wanted to return to those steps where things were just happy, amazing, and where he became a man instead of this hell where he was reduced to a snivelling wreck, humiliated and trapped.

‘Jesse, Officer Stewart believed you were intoxicated on something, he couldn’t smell any alcohol, but I’m certainly smelling something as I’m sure he did to, have you already upgraded from cigarettes?’ Adam persisted calmly.

‘I, I,’ Jesse tried to talk but his emotions were making it difficult. ‘It wasn’t me, I was just with friends who were, I only had a couple of puffs, I swear, I was,’ Jesse had no idea how he could justify it so stopped.

‘It looks like you took a bit more than that son, I wasn’t born yesterday,’ Adam pointed out, still remaining calm which was unnerving Jesse more.

His mother pushed the warm milk closer, encouraging Jesse to drink it but he just wanted to sleep. On seeing both parents now staring back at him he took the glass and began to drink. It tasted fowl, and he half choked when the nausea hit him, spitting some of the contents onto the table.

Adam just rolled his eyes. ‘Doesn’t he make you feel so proud, Marie, look at the state of him.’ Jesse abruptly stood up, wiping his mouth on his hoody and excused himself. ‘Not, so fast,’ Adam moved quick and grabbed Jesse’s arm firmly, spinning him around.

‘Ow, that hurts,’ Jesse whined, using his other hand to try and removed the hold on his arm.

‘Tomorrow we are going to seal your window shut, you will only leave this house with our express permission, and wherever you go, we go, do you understand?’ Adam yelled.

‘What? No!’ Jesse yelled back in anger. ‘You can’t do that, what if there’s a fire?’ he countered.

‘You die, win, win,’ Adam sneered, and Jesse just stared at him with shock at his words. ‘Now go upstairs, get ready for bed, and don’t you dare be late for school in the morning.’

Jesse rubbed his arm where his dad had held him moments before, then turned and hurried up the stairs, slamming his door. Seconds later he heard Jake crying, and cried out in frustration knowing that would come back to haunt him if the kid didn’t settle quickly. He fell face first onto his bed, burying his head into his pillow and began to sob without care, all the anguish and mixed emotions of the last few hours poured out, as he let everything free.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been crying for, or when he succumbed to sleep, but he was suddenly aware that he wasn’t alone when he felt his sneakers being removed from his feet. He shifted suddenly to see his dad placing them with care on the floor, and he abruptly wiped his eyes and loudly sniffed as he turned over and sat up.

‘I told you to get ready for bed,’ his father stated with annoyance.

Jesse couldn’t hear Jake crying anymore, so figured he’d settled back down quickly, thankfully, but he was not willing to push his father any more than he had already done, so he started to shrug his hoody off.

‘Listen, you know I’m hard on you because I want you to do well, Jesse,’ his father spoke softly, unsettling Jesse a little.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse replied with little feeling.

His father moved to his dresser and retrieved some night clothes and handed them to Jesse. ‘We will talk tomorrow but just get some sleep, something has to change, Jesse, you know this can’t go on, not like this.’

‘I don’t know why I keep messing up,’ Jesse said with sadness, his emotions so close to the surface. ‘I promise I don’t mean to keep being bad, I am trying, I take those vitamins like you ask, but,’ he paused, he had no explanation that felt adequate.

‘We will talk tomorrow,’ His father repeated softly.

Jesse took a deep breath and removed his t-shirt, throwing it over to the wash bin as he made to grab the night shirt but before he did, he noticed his father moving closer. ‘Is that a,’ his father paused, squinting. ‘Is that a hickey?’

‘A what?’ Jesse quickly asked unsure.

‘On your shoulder,’ his father pointed out the purple looking bruise on the shoulder, and Jesse had flashbacks to Julie sucking his skin during one of his orgasms and his felt his face flush red suddenly. ‘It is, look at you, did you?’ His father seemed more amused than angry. ‘Surely not, you’re just a kid, did you?’ he stammered, keeping his voice low, he glanced around and then quickly moved to close Jesse’s bedroom door before returning.

Jesse was feeling the full embarrassment of the situation, seeing his own chest was now beet red to match his cheeks, he moved to lie down on his back, bringing his hands up to his face to give him some sense of hiding.

‘Was it consensual?’ his father then checked his voice still low, with a serious expression suddenly.

Jesse wanted to die or be swallowed up whole, a few times he attempted to speak but there were no words, so he just remained open mouthed unable to believe that he’d been found out cos of a stupid hickey.

‘Jesse, tell me,’ His father insisted.

‘Jesus, dad, yes I did and yes, it was consensual,’ Jesse stressed quickly, then covered his face again with his hands. When he didn’t hear his father speak, he cautiously removed his hand and looked at him. ‘What?’ he finally asked, his dad just staring at him.

‘Was it someone your own age?’

‘What?’ Jesse couldn’t believe his dad was asking that question.

‘Was the other person someone your own age?’

‘Are we really discussing this, right now?’ Jesse stressed with annoyance.

‘Jesse,’ his father barked, his tone still hushed clearly not wanting to alert Diane to the conversion.

Taking a deep breath and knowing he had no choice but to talk, he sighed. ‘She was older.’

‘So, it was a she,’ his father considered, but caught Jesse’s awkward smirk. ‘Or were there more?’

‘Jesus, dad, I’m tired can I just go to sleep? I have school remember?’

‘Were there others?’ his dad persisted once more, and Jesse was growing afraid of his father’s interest in this matter.

With more hesitation but feeling he had no choice but reply Jesse, lay down on the bed and hid his face with his hands. ‘I had sex with this lady, then a guy blew me, ok, happy now, weirdo?’

‘And this was your first time?’

‘Are you getting off on this, perv?’ Jesse snapped, tired of the questions then felt his father slap his hand down on his bare chest and Jesse froze with genuine fear at his father’s touch.

‘Don’t talk to me like that ever again, Jesse, do you hear me?’ He growled with the same anger he had shown the previous night when he had beaten him.

‘S, S, Sorry,’ Jesse’s breathing had quickened, still feeling the sting of his father’s hand, but his hand had remained on his chest and Jesse felt genuinely worried, like the rules had changed suddenly, he had never felt this vulnerable before and he didn’t like it. ‘Please, get your hand off me,’ Jesse quietly pleaded but the hand remained, and Jesse risked another look at his father.

‘Let me see,’ His father ordered.

‘What?’ Jesse asked unsure.

‘Strip, let me see.’

‘No fucking way,’ Jesse panicked then felt his father grab his hair tightly, painfully but he stifled the yelp as his father moved his other hand from his chest to cover his mouth.

‘I’m never going to hurt you, not again, if you just let me see,’ His father said with a tone Jesse had never heard his father use on him before, it was genuine. ‘I know it sounds odd, but believe me, I just want to see and then we’ll never speak of this again, ok?’

Jesse felt a painful pull on his hair again so nodded his head, and slowly his father removed his hands and just waited. Numbly Jesse just acted like was just getting ready for bed as he undid his jeans and kicked them off, then after a pause he pulled down his boxers, discarding them un-ceremonially to the floor and lay on his bed naked under his dad’s watchful eye. He felt exposed, vulnerable and nervous as no words were said for what seemed the longest time.

His father than stood up, he now appeared a little embarrassed himself. ‘Good, good,’ his father offered. ‘I hadn’t quite appreciated how much you had grown recently.’

Jesse cringed at his dad’s choice of words. ‘Can I get fucking dressed now?’

‘I still won’t tolerate bad language, Jesse, but I’ll let you off this once,’ His father stated firmly. ‘Get ready for bed, and we will speak tomorrow.’

‘But not about this, this,’ Jesse gestured to his groin, then grabbing his sleep pants and quickly putting them on with anger, showing his father he wasn’t happy with what just happened.

‘Never about this,’ He father confirmed, and left the room.

‘Fucking weirdo,’ Jesse hissed under his breath, his fear replaced only by anger now at what his father had made him do. ‘What’s his fucking problem,’ he continued to rage to himself.

He glanced at his window, not yet sealed up and he pondered the possibility of running away, to just get far away from this hell and live on the streets with Samson, Jackson and Julie, briefly wondering where Wylie Coyote had been tonight before he rapidly dismissed that chain of thought, already knowing he wasn’t ready to give up his home comforts, however few he had just yet but if his dad pulled anymore weird shit like that on him again, he would easily change his mind.


	3. The new regime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month has past, and Jesse is at his wits end when he meets his dad's new friend

It had been a whole month since the events of that night and Jesse was now a prisoner in his own home, the only time he was allowed out of the house on his own was to walk to and from school. The school were on alert to inform his father if he was even a minute late and if he risked being late back home after school, he’d face another strongly worded lecture, that depending on his dad’s mood that day usually included violence of some sort. It had become easier to just follow the regime and become numb to the world around him, Jesse found.

Jesse was fast reaching his wits end however, he felt like a robot now just going through the motions, running on empty and becoming devoid of any interest in life. He’d had that one evening of pure bliss, memories that had kept him going as he found himself quietly pleasuring himself late at night, but it was never the same, and almost always his brain would then remind him just how fucked up that evening ended with his leery dad gawking at him in his own room. Making him hate himself, his body and life, that eventually he stopped himself doing that, denying himself any pleasure.

His father had talked to him the next day, a standard lecture, the usual threat of violence and then worthless pleas of asking Jesse to help them to make him a better person, but not a single mention of the weirdness of that night, he didn’t even allude to it, leaving Jesse to deal with his own trauma it caused him. 

The other stuff, he had heard it all before and remained clueless about how he was supposed to change, to be a better person, when he didn’t know how, he was who he was. The vitamins had increased in dosage but still were not the miracle cure his parents were hoping for, he was still an idiot he figured, but they did calm him down at least, they made Jesse feel numb, which in some ways helped with the boredom. Jesse had started to work out that the only way to have fun it seemed was to do the bad stuff, to have sex and do drugs, but that was not an option so a boy could only dream, it was the only thing his father couldn’t take for him.

Jesse sighed lost in his thoughts as he ambled along the street making sure he was on track to get into the house on time, his school days had been uneventful of late and he found himself withdrawing from any kind of active participation in lessons and that helped him to go unnoticed, being grumpy and unresponsive actually stopped people bothering him. Only Mr White, his chemistry teacher, still seemed to be trying to make an effort but he knew he would soon wear the grumpy bastard down, but he was already so close to failing his class it didn’t matter what happened first. He spent his lessons drawing lewd drawings of Mr White to make the time pass quicker.

He had no idea where his life was going, Jesse felt that he could potentially graduate, he had put a tiny bit more effort in now he had stopped trying so hard to be good, and becoming less concerned by the fact he had no friends or any kind of decent reputation at the school. He had found a weird ass confidence in himself that simply by looking at any person trying to bully him he knew he had had sex and they hadn’t, well, not like he had anyway, he knew what he had experienced far surpassed anything his peers were fumbling about doing to each other and this made him more than confident that he wasn’t the loser anymore.

‘Hey Pinky.’

Jesse rolled his eyes, as he recognised the voices but forgot the names attached to them, it wasn’t the first time this group of boys had singled him out.

‘Get lost,’ Jesse returned, then found himself surrounded.

‘Don’t tell us to get lost, loser,’ the bigger of the boys pushed Jesse into the wall, stopping him but Jesse didn’t fight back, he had lost that will, and he knew doing so would just land him in trouble so he just stared blankly back at them. ‘We said hey Pinky, what? You too good to speak to us now?’

‘Get lost,’ Jesse repeated with little enthusiasm, he tried to move away but the boys forced him back into the wall.

‘What’s with the attitude, think you’re some tough guy now?’

Jesse rolled his eyes. ‘I just need to get home, yo, I’m not bothering you so just fuck off.’

‘Oh, look at the big man using big words,’ the boys mocked, and Jesse then found himself being dragged into the nearest ally way, out of sight from the street behind some houses. He was thrown into the dirt and held down, Jesse only now tried to put up a fight but was outnumbered and at a disadvantage in both size and weight against the boys.

‘Get the fuck off me!’ Jesse fumed. ‘I need to get home!’

‘To mommy?’ the bigger boy mocked.

Jesse grabbed the front of the guys shirt, but his hands were quickly pushed away, and the bigger boy ordered his mate to hold them above Jesse’s head as he lay prone on the floor. The boy than straddled Jesse’s stomach, the weight winding Jesse slightly.

‘You are such a loser, you know that Pinky? Look at you, pathetic little boy, you going to cry to your mommy when you get home,’ he teased. ‘Do you still only have a little pinky, is that your problem ego boy? Shall we check for you? See if we can see anything?’ they all laughed.

Jesse reacted with anger now as he tried to dislodge the boy sitting on him but it was no use, he wasn’t strong enough and he froze when he felt the boy’s hand on his dick through his jeans. ‘Fucking homo!’ Jesse yelled angrily and bucked with all the strength he could muster.

‘Whoa, look who’s all grown up!’ the boy exclaimed loudly.

‘Get off me!’ Jesse raged, still fighting to get free.

The bigger boy then struck Jesse across the face, catching his nose and he felt the blood running almost immediately but now all he could focus on was all the boys laughing. ‘Well, well, pinky no longer has a little pinky, guys, we better lock up the girls, guess who finally stopped being a pathetic little boy but he still can’t get a date, fucking loser.’ More laughter erupted and Jesse hated himself as he felt the tears forming in his eyes, then falling, as his humiliation grew. He thought he could handle this, he thought he’d be above all this now but once again the bullies were getting away with it. Just as Jesse was preparing for the worst, he felt the weight suddenly lift off him, and became aware of new voices, and the boys were gone.

‘Jesse, Jesse, are you ok?’ Samson’s voice broke through. ‘Oh my god, what did they do to you, Jackson do you have any tissues, we got to stop this bleeding.’

Jesse narrowed his eyes and didn’t stop them sitting him up, keeping his head forward and down as they tried to stem his bleeding nose.

‘Are you ok?’ Jackson then asked.

‘Yeah, thanks,’ Jesse managed and breathed heavily, gasping for air.

‘Take your time, kid,’ Samson soothed.

‘I got to get home,’ Jesse then panicked. ‘Where’s my bag?’

‘This one?’ Jackson asked, holding up his school bag.

‘Yeah, thanks,’ Jesse then looked at Samson, and then Jackson who found Jesse’s ID card hanging from the zip.

‘Jesse Pinkman, date of birth September 14th 1984,’ Jackson slowly read.

‘Fucking hell, Jesse,’ Samson abruptly got to his feet looking very troubled. ‘You’re fucking 15? In high school?’ he yelled, and Jesse shirked back, suddenly realising his error, his breathing more erratic seeing two people he called friends reacting like they were, with disgust and horror at him.

‘I fucking blew you, you know how serious that is?’ Jackson yelled. ‘Hell, Julie going to go spare when she finds out she fucked a minor, jesus christ we could be arrested! What the fuck, man,’ Jackson turned away and walked off, leaving Jesse dumbstruck, having thrown his school bag back at him with force.

‘I gave a 15 year old my joint, man,’ Samson seemed devastated as the truth dawned on him. ‘We trusted your word, Jesse.’

Jesse drew his legs up, wrapping his arms around them and began to sob as he hugged himself, adding to his shitty life now everybody hated him, and he had fucked it up again. Sitting on his own in the dirt, molested by shitty school bullies, being found out by people who had trusted him, he lost all control and sank down into the ground, curling up as he desperately sobbed into the dirt.

He had felt so alone in the past few weeks locked up in his room, with absolutely no fun allowed as his parents forced him to only do school work, or studying things they set him themselves. The only thing that had kept him going was knowing one day, at some point he would get out, and he would find those steps and just hang out for eternity with the amazing friends he had met. That’s all he was living for but in the space of a minute that hope, that one remaining dream was dashed, and he had fucked up big time as his world crashed down right on top of him.

The realisation that he had lost track of time suddenly dawned on him, and with panic he rapidly got to his feet, his nose still bled and his eyes were red raw, tears falling but he stumbled to his feet, grabbing his bad he began to run with urgency.

‘Hey, kid,’ Samson called after him. ‘Jesse, stop!’

Jesse ignored it, he had done enough damage and now he just wanted to prevent this day getting any worse by being late, and he quickened his pace.

He could hear Samson catching him up. ‘Leave me alone!’ Jesse yelled with blind fury, things were already bad enough, he just wanted to be left alone.

‘Kid, c’mon, don’t do this, we can talk,’ Samson tried to reason. ‘Do you need help?’

‘What? No?’ Jesse was caught by the question as Samson forced Jesse to stop and grabbed his upper arms.

‘You’re scaring me, Jesse,’ Samson said with concern.

‘Please, just let me get home, if I’m late my dad will kill me,’ Jesse pleaded, he was so close to home and he felt desperate, his body was shaking as his emotions ran wild.

‘Shit Jesse I’m sorry if we scared you, kid, we were just in shock, you know how serious it is, what we did to you?’ Samson offered with concern.

‘I liked it,’ Jesse admitted, no longer caring how pathetic he sounded. ‘You didn’t hurt me, you made me feel good, the only time I have lately, and,’ Jesse broke down and Samson embraced him for a moment before Jesse violently pushed him away.

‘Hey, hey, look at me,’ Samson insisted defensively, and Jesse stopped, he looked a mess. ‘I want to help you.’

Jesse smirked at the notion, with an air of anger already shaking his head. ‘I’m sorry, ok, tell the others I’m really sorry, I’m just sorry I fucked up, I’m a fuck up, ok? I’m not going to tell anyone, and I won’t bother you again just let me go, I need to get home,’ Jesse pleaded, his desperation clear to see.

‘Ok,’ Samson conceded, not wanting to push and stepping back. ‘You ever need me, go to those steps, even if I’m not there at that moment you arrive, I will be soon enough ok?’

Jesse nodded his head to indicate he understood.

‘Be strong, Jesse, always be strong,’ Samson stated, and his concern was clear. ‘You know where to find me, when you’re ready, when you need me, I will help you.’

Jesse offered the weakest of smiles and reluctantly started to walk away, heading home to answer the questions he knew were coming, why are you late? Why are your clothes so filthy? What happened to your face? What did you do that antagonised the people who did that to your face?

Jesse hesitated before opening the door, then quickly walked in and dumped his bag by the stairs heading into the kitchen he stopped on seeing his dad was already home early, and there was another man stood by the sink with a hot drink in his hands.

‘Jesse,’ his father beamed, unsettling Jesse straight away.

‘Dad,’ he said unsure, glancing at the stranger.

‘This is Del,’ His father introduced. ‘A friend of mine, I invited him round for coffee.’

‘Ok,’ Jesse moved to the fridge and grabbed the milk. 

‘Nice to meet you, it’s Jesse, right?’ Del greeted.

‘Yeah, hi,’ Jesse offered.

‘What happened to your nose?’ Del then asked with concern and Jesse found his face being grabbed by his father.

‘Did you get into another fight?’ his father asked firmly. ‘Look at the state of you,’ he then noted the dirt on Jesse’s jacket and jeans. ‘After you had that milk you go and get yourself cleaned up and changed, we’re going out soon.’

‘Out?’ Jesse checked unsure, this was not normal at all and he was getting very confused.

‘Del is new in town, so I agreed to show him around thought you could join us, should be fun,’ his dad smiled, and Jesse felt completely at odds. ‘I also need to pick up some files from work, so two birds,’ he added, glancing at Del.

‘Where’s mom?’ Jesse asked, realising the constant presence of his mom in the house was missing.

‘She’s out, with Jake,’ his dad simply said with no further explanation.

Jesse brought the glass of milk to his mouth and felt weirded out, his dad and Del were just looking at him. ‘Ok,’ he put the empty glass down and made to move. ‘I’ll just get cleaned up I guess,’ he offered and rapidly left the room.

* * *

They had been driving for over thirty minutes taking in most of Albuquerque’s finest establishments, and sights. Jesse was enjoying being out at least, as day turned to early evening the lights started coming on against the darkening skies around them. He was not holed up in his room doing homework at least, and Del and his father had been talking shop for most of the journey leaving him alone to his thoughts. Jesse had discovered his dad worked on Del’s company’s accounts, a company that made big money it seemed which Jesse was naturally drawn to. Del was not the sort of person Jesse would ever consider would willingly hang out with his dad, they looked polar opposites so he figured Del was desperate to get settled in town quickly and was just using his dad as a quick in for local knowledge. Del wasn’t a kid, he looked early thirties, seemed very happy and had a style Jesse could only wish for, all his clothes looked cool, designer labels for sure, even if they were a bit too smart for Jesse’s tastes but he figured the guy had come from work.

The car pulled into his father’s company’s car park, and Jesse noticed his dad parked a little bit away from the building in a secluded part, it was after hours so not many vehicles remained.

‘I won’t be long, Jesse, just got to pick up some files,’ his father spoke before leaving the vehicle.

There was an awkward silence for a minute or so, Jesse had nothing to say so just stared out into the dark expanse of the parking lot but jumped when he heard Del’s door open, and close then further confused when the passenger door opened and Del got back into the car next to him.

‘Makes it easier for us to talk if I’m not craning my neck,’ Del offered as a weak explanation for his move. ‘Are you ok, Jesse?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse replied unsure.

‘So, I wanted to talk to you about an opportunity, your father is always talking about you, he really wants you to have the best in life,’ Del enthused.

‘Seriously?’ Jesse sounded doubtful.

‘Maybe you only see the bad stuff, but there’s some good stuff there that you will see one day, anyway, we both got talking and I have an opportunity at my company for a trainee, work experience if you like, you come in for a couple of hours and shadow me, learn a bit about my work, how business works, get some practical experience rather than sticking your head in books,’ Del stated.

Jesse couldn’t deny that it sounded interesting, especially the bit about no books. ‘How would it work, with school and stuff?’ Jesse asked.

‘Well, I work strange hours so you could easily come to the office after school, before you head home, do your homework there or learn more interesting stuff with me,’ Del smiled. ‘I never went to college or university and I’m now a multi-millionaire, so you’ll be learning from the best.’

‘Wow, really?’ Jesse had to admit he was impressed, and it was suddenly appealing to him, it now made sense why his dad might have started talking to Del about him with his current crisis with school and graduating.

‘I’ll make sure I’ll look after you, Jesse, I see potential,’ Del edged a little closer. ‘Will you let me help you?’

‘Yeah, hell yeah, sounds dope,’ Jesse enthused, liking the idea of being at a company, learning from the best and being out the house away from his parents. He then felt a hand on his thigh and shirked a little.

‘What the fuck?’ Jesse couldn’t stop himself saying in reaction.

‘It’s ok, Jesse,’ Del smiled. ‘You can trust me, I’m a friend of your dads, I wouldn’t dare hurt you. I know what your father is like, I see it in your face, he hurts you, doesn’t he?’ Del asked.

Jesse numbly nodded his head, finally someone had noticed, Jesse thought and the feelings that released in him took him by surprise as he felt his eyes water slightly.

‘It’s ok, I feel your pain, Jesse, I want to help you,’ he said with sincerity and Jesse relaxed slightly, even when the hand wandered up and covered his crotch. Jesse took an intake of breath but didn’t try and push Del away. He liked Del, he really wanted Del to like him, this man was providing him an escape, he saw what no one else seemed to see, he could save him so he didn’t want to fuck something else up because of his stupid childish actions, so he let Del undo his jeans, then manhandle his dick like it was the most natural thing in the world.

‘You like that?’ Del asked, and Jesse only nodded, closing his eyes to the sensations as Del found his rhythm, it felt amazing. ‘Cum for me, Jesse,’ he encouraged after a few minutes, and Jesse gripped the seat, his breathing quickened as Del manipulated him to the point of ecstasy and suddenly his seed was released, his body juddered and he couldn’t breathe for a second or two, trying to catch his breath before taking big mouthfuls of air.

He felt Del cleaning him up with an expensive looking handkerchief which he pocketed with a glint in his eye. ‘My prize, a little keepsake from you, you are amazing, Jesse,’ he grinned, he then took out his wallet and stuffed fifty dollars into Jesse’s hand. ‘And a little something from me, treat yourself,’ he smiled, and Jesse looked wide-eyed at the cash he held.

Jesse then frowned as he allowed Del to tidy him away, fixing his clothes as if nothing had just occurred before he quickly left the car and returned to the passenger seat. Jesse had just about recovered his senses and breath when he heard the trunk open, and something being placed inside before his father returned to the driver’s seat.

‘Everybody ok?’ his father chirped, as Jesse quickly pocketed the money before his dad saw it.

‘Your son is amazing, Adam, we’ve had a great chat about that opportunity I mentioned, and he seems keen,’ Del beamed and glanced back with a wink.

‘Is that right, Jesse? You want to try the placement?’ Adam asked excitedly.

‘Yeah, yeah I do,’ Jesse offered a little shakily but sounding enthused, he really did want to do the placement but he was a little unsure about what had just happened, clearly Del didn’t want his dad knowing about that which made sense but Jesse was confused by his own feelings about it, he had enjoyed it, really enjoyed it and it had felt so good, why didn’t he deserve some fun for once he reconciled and relaxed as his father drove out of the car park.

* * *

‘Pinkman, can you stay back please,’ Mr White asked as he dismissed the class.

Jesse packed his bag and remained in his seat before Mr White gestured for him to come to the front. Jesse made his way to the front desk and waited.

‘You already know the result of your test but I just wanted to let you know that this is not acceptable,’ Mr White turned Jesse’s test paper over to reveal the drawing he had done on the back that wasn’t complimentary.

‘Sorry, Mr White, it won’t happen again,’ Jesse simply said without looking up.

‘Jesse, are you, ok?’ Mr White asked, and saw Jesse’s confusion. ‘The last month or so you’ve been really quiet in class, no energy and a general disinterest.’

Jesse just shrugged. ‘I’ve been told to stop messing about in class, to stop being bad.’

‘And that’s good but you shouldn’t disengage completely, you still have something to contribute, Jesse.’

‘It gets confusing what I can and can’t do, so I just do nothing,’ Jesse offered quietly.

‘Well I hope you are learning at least,’ Mr White stated, as he packed up his own bag.

‘I’m learning lots,’ Jesse half smiled but he was not talking about school with that answer.

‘Well that’s good,’ Mr White smiled. ‘Shall we walk?’

Jesse nodded and got into step with Mr White as they left the classroom, he waited for Mr White to lock the classroom before they proceeded to the car park.

‘The teachers have noticed your efforts in controlling your behaviour, there’s been less detentions hasn’t there, in the past month?’ Mr White offered.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse simply said with no enthusiasm.

‘You father must be pleased?’ Mr White asked.

Jesse shrugged. ‘I guess,’ he offered.

‘But you’re no longer enjoying school, are you?’ Mr White observed, and Jesse just shrugged again. ‘What are your plans, what do you want to with your life?’ Jesse could only shrug again. ‘The next couple of years are going to be very long unless you start thinking about it, Jesse, maybe you should talk to someone?’

‘I’m going to start going to a company in town to do a work placement, learn about business,’ Jesse finally offered. ‘I met the guy last night, he seems nice,’ Jesse shrugged.

‘Really?’ Mr White couldn’t hide his surprise.

‘My dad set it up, few hours every week, shadowing this guy, the owner,’ Jesse explained.

‘Sounds interesting, doing something practical could help you for sure,’ Mr White enthused, as they stepped out into the sunlight and Mr White moved towards his car. ‘Well, I hope that goes well, Jesse, let me know how you get on.’

Jesse nodded his head and began to walk towards the exit, putting his hands in his pockets he put his head down intending to make up the time to still get home in the allotted time. As he walked a car pulled up alongside him.

‘Jesse.’

Jesse glanced over and saw the car come to a stop, then recognised the guy from last night and he was both scared and curious. ‘Del?’

‘I’m glad that was you, thought I had missed you, do you want a lift?’ Del asked, his flash BMW a perfect fit for what Jesse would imagine Del would drive.

‘Er,’ Jesse debated, putting his hands on the passenger door leaning in, looking up the street as if looking for the right answer. He wanted to, but he wasn’t sure if it was allowed, if his father knew. ‘Sure,’ he finally decided, this was his father’s friend so it must be ok.

Jesse went to open the door when another car pulled up. ‘Jesse, everything ok?’ Mr White’s voice sounded, and Jesse looked over to him seeing he had parked up behind the car.

‘Yeah, he’s a friend of my dad, the one I mentioned, it’s cool, Mr White,’ Jesse offered.

‘OK, I’ll see you next week, enjoy the weekend, Jesse,’ Mr White stated, and Jesse got into the passenger seat of Del’s car. Mr White pulled away and slowed a little as he went past the car and Jesse found Del twisting in his seat to help him with his seatbelt.

‘It’s ok, I’ve got it,’ Jesse noted to Del as he clicked the belt into place, then waved at Mr White who then drove away. Only then did Del turn back in his seat, clearly not wanting to be seen by Mr White. ‘Everything ok?’ Jesse then asked a little unsure.

‘I don’t like snoops,’ Del remarked.

‘It’s just my chemistry teacher, Mr White,’ Jesse dismissed.

‘He was snooping, you need to be careful, Jesse, other people can have active imaginations,’ Del simply said without further explanation, he finally pulled away and they began to drive.

‘You needed to have taken that first turn,’ Jesse pointed out.

‘Why?’

‘To take me home?’ Jesse reminded him.

‘I have a better idea,’ Del said.

‘But I need to go home, if I don’t my dad will kill me, yo,’ Jesse panicked.

‘Relax, Jesse, it’ll be fine,’ Del assured him.

‘You don’t know my dad,’ Jesse sneered, clearly troubled.

‘Oh, I do, and he will be fine, trust me,’ Del stated and turned into the Go-Karts center.

‘Go-Karts?’ Jesse realised.

‘It’s fun, you’ll never beat me,’ Del challenged.

‘I’ve never been Go-Karting before,’ Jesse looked concerned.

‘Hey, relax, it’ll be fun, come on,’ Del enthused.

* * *

The laughter filled the apartment as the front door opened and Del and Jesse stepped inside. ‘Oh my god, you so took me out on that last lap, yo, I so had you!’ Jesse argued with a smile plastered on his face.

‘No, no I’m not having that I beat you fair and square after you cut me up on that last bend in the second lap!’ Del returned and gently pushed Jesse into the living room. ‘I told you I would beat you, unbeaten Go Kart champion!’ Del hollered loudly.

‘I’ll so beat you next time, man, I was just warming up, yo,’ Jesse stressed. ‘Aw man you got a PlayStation and an X-Box?’ Jesse’s eyes went wide. ‘And this TV is massive!’

‘Go on, load up a game, your choice,’ Del offered as he fixed himself a drink. ‘Do you want a soda?’

‘Yeah sure,’ Jesse answered and looked at all the games on the shelf. ‘This is crazy, you own every game.’

‘I like to have a choice,’ Del stated.

‘Are you sure my dad is ok with me being here? He’s not big on me having fun, thinks it’s a distraction from my studies,’ Jesse backed away from the games, and suddenly looked unsure.

‘It’s Friday night Jesse, the weekend, do you want to call him to check?’ Del offered his phone.

‘Not really,’ Jesse admitted and walked to the kitchen and collected his soda.

‘Hey, it’s ok to have fun, Jesse,’ Del encouraged.

‘Yeah, whatever, what about school, what about my future, what about the fact I’m a fucking loser?’ Jesse snapped, and put his drink down putting his hand to his face to try and compose himself, he didn’t want Del to think he was a loser and regretted his outburst immediately, feeling embarrassed. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.’

‘Are you hungry, shall I order a pizza?’ Del suggested.

‘Yeah, if you want,’ Jesse sniffed and picked up the soda can again.

‘Go and put a game on,’ Del encouraged. ‘I promise you its ok with your parents.’

‘Ok,’ Jesse frowned and walked back to the living room area, shoulders slumped.

Del saw how quickly Jesse had become deflated, and sighed. He quickly called the pizza delivery to order and then grabbed his drink, seeing Jesse had chosen Sonic Racer as his game of choice.

‘You really are a glutton for punishment, Jesse, wasn’t it enough that I beat you in all the races at the Go-Karts, now this?’ Del teased.

‘Try it,’ Jesse simply said with determination and they prepared for their first race.

A couple of hours later, after all the pizza had been consumed Del threw his hands up in the air. ‘Ok, ok, I spoke too soon, you win, Jesse,’ Del proclaimed. ‘I can’t get beaten again!’

‘Ha!’ Jesse cheered. ‘Champion!’

‘Is there another game you want to play, or shall we watch a movie?’ Del asked.

‘I should go home,’ Jesse replied sadly.

‘Do you want to go home?’ Del asked.

‘I have to go home,’ Jesse stated, avoiding looking at Del. ‘I have homework to do, my dad will be on my case.’

Del didn’t respond and changed the subject. ‘So, I was talking to your dad earlier today about when to start the work placement, everything is sorted, we are thinking you come in on Wednesdays and Fridays?’ Del offered. ‘I can have you picked you up from school, we can do a couple hours in the office, I’ll shout you dinner, we can play video games before I drop you off home.’

‘Why are you doing this?’ Jesse asked, it all seemed too perfect and didn’t gel with his current regime at home at all, the fun part was not something his dad would ever agree to.

‘Your dad is worried about you, and your prospects, Jesse,’ Del answered, sitting forward. ‘And I’m new in town, my business is just starting here so I’m going to be here for the next year or so, it’s interesting times, you should learn lots if you want to,’ Del added and then edged a little closer. ‘I struggle to make new friends and I think we’ve had fun tonight, right? So why not just help each other be less lonely?’

Jesse turned to look at him. ‘You’re lonely?’ Jesse questioned. ‘You’re like the richest man I know, have this amazing apartment, all the games and consoles.’

‘And no one to share it with,’ Del added. ‘Look, I’m not ready to settle down and do the adult thing, I’m still a kid at heart I guess, it’s so dull trying to be a grown up, but I don’t want to be a billy no mates so when your dad mentioned you, and how troubled you’ve been, struggling with everything I just thought we could help each other out.’

‘Oh fuck, no,’ Jesse covered his face with his hands, his elbows resting on his knees and went suddenly silent.

‘What is it Jesse, was it something I said?’ Del asked concerned.

Jesse remained quiet until he finally spoke, his head still down and his voice muffled but clear enough for Del to understand. ‘What else did my dad tell you?’

‘What do you mean?’ Del questioned.

‘When you jerked me off, was that planned, is that why my dad left the car?’ Jesse asked, keeping his head down.

‘Jesse, no, no way, it wasn’t like that,’ Del was quick to respond.

Jesse was now shaking as he thought about the sequence of events leading up to him being introduced to Del. ‘He told you about me, the drugs, that night when I came home late, what he asked me to do?’

‘Look, ok, yes, he mentioned you were active in that area but only because he was concerned with who you were mixing with, ok? So yes, he did mention that,’ Del explained. ‘But what did he ask you to do?’ Del then asked completely changing his tone to confusion.

Jesse shrugged realising his humiliation was at maximum. ‘He asked to look.’

‘To look?’ Del questioned.

‘At me,’ Jesse explained. ‘Naked, like butt naked, yo, my own dad,’ Jesse added, looking disgusted as he remembered the humiliation.

‘He just looked?’ Del checked he understood.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse said as he continued to keep his face buried in his hands.

‘Wow,’ Del considered.

‘Exactly, yeah,’ Jesse felt justified.

‘I’d have done more than just look, I mean come on, you butt naked,’ Del said with glee. ‘Were you butt naked on a bed?’ Del asked.

It took a few moments for Jesse to fully catch up and he was speechless as he finally looked up at Del with a mixture of disgust and confusion, not knowing how to react but seeing Del’s cheeky smile he couldn’t help but finally start to laugh. ‘Unbelievable, yo, this is serious, man.’

‘Then why are you laughing, and might I add looking very cute doing so,’ Del teased, and edged a little closer.

Jesse blushed and looked unsure, he was actually flattered at what he could only see as a compliment and there was something about Del that he was a little attracted to if he was honest, he was just suddenly confused by his feelings, people didn’t like him like that, well apart from Julie but Del definitely wasn’t a Julie.

‘Jesse, I will never ask you to do anything you are not comfortable with, you understand? I will always ask permission,’ Del stated with seriousness. ‘You are a minor, and this is very dangerous ground for me to venture into for certain things, so I need to be able to trust you, but it’s completely up to you, and you can always change your mind ok, you have that right. I respect you Jesse, I see a very smart, street wise young man who is very lost right now, but I can help you however you want me to help.’

‘Ok,’ Jesse took all the information in, he felt nervous and unsure.

‘So honestly, right now, what do you want from me?’

‘The truth,’ Jesse looked nervous. ‘Why is my dad ok with this? He hates me having fun, having friends, being away from the house, coming home late, everything we have done this evening is everything he hates me doing so why is it ok suddenly?’

‘The truth? There’s a couple of reasons, the first is he genuinely doesn’t know what else to do with you, he knows he can’t keep you locked up forever, he knows you’re already turning to drugs and the streets for your kicks and this is like a sort of ‘if you can’t beat them join them’ situation,’ Del offered. ‘I can give you those same kicks but in a safe environment, and also hopefully teach you a few business smarts along the way, hell maybe even get you on the first rungs of the ladder once you leave school,’ Del explained positively.

‘And the second reason?’ Jesse asked weirdly finding some sense to the first reason.

‘I can give your dad enough money to get that little brat brother of yours into that ridiculous school your parents have their heart set on him attending,’ Del revealed, and could see Jesse was trying to take it all in. ‘Listen, don’t tell your dad you know this, you’re not supposed to know this because your dad thinks he’s smart but I trust you Jesse, I know I can help you if you let me and we can have some fun on the way. The money your dad needed I’ve already forgotten it, and if tonight is all you can stand to be with me, so be it, I won’t take that money away, they’ll never know any different.’

‘My parents sold me to you?’ Jesse finally spoke.

‘No, no, Jesse that is not what’s happened here, I merely paid that money to have the introduction, you are under no obligations, and I got the introduction I wanted, and here we are,’ Del insisted.

‘That’s why my dad wanted to look at me? To size me up, offer me to the highest bidder,’ Jesse looked like he was going to be sick.

Del reached out to put a comforting hand on Jesse’s back but he shrugged him off, repulsed and he quickly got to his feet and put some distance between them.

‘Jesse, I don’t care about the money, ok,’ Del offered. ‘I meant what I said, I want to help you, you seem so sad, lost, and lonely. We had fun tonight, right? Did you feel pressured or obligated to do anything? I’m not a monster, Jesse, I like your company, and yeah, I know there’s an age difference but this doesn’t have to be anything that you don’t want it to be, you have full control here.’

‘I just want to go home,’ Jesse said, he walked towards the door and picked up his bag and waited.

Del grabbed his keys and they walked in silence back down to the garage, and soon they were driving towards Jesse house.

‘I’m sorry,’ Del offered.

‘It’s not your fault, my life just sucks,’ Jesse offered, hunched up in the front seat, feeling like shit.

‘Do you need anything?’ Del asked. ‘Last chance to ask before we reach your house.’

‘Actually, can you get me a couple of packs of cigarettes?’ Jesse asked.

‘Anything else?’ Del checked.

‘Unless you have some joints,’ Jesse sighed, and suddenly felt the car make a sharp turn and he glared at Del in shock.

‘Now you’re talking,’ Del grinned and sped along the street. 

Jesse didn’t speak as they entered a dark alleyway, and Del killed the lights on his car. A few moments later there was a tap on the window, Del lowed it a couple of inches and handed the man a bundle of dollars and a note. ‘Same as before, my man,’ Del stated. A couple of minutes passed and a brown bag was pushed through the gap, Del grabbed it, checked it and then threw the contents into Jesse’s lap before driving away, only hitting the lights back on when they turned into the main street again.

Jesse tentatively looked inside the paper bag, and his eyes widened at the stash. ‘Jeeze, what is this stuff?’

‘Well I would share but you want to go home to mommy and daddy, right?’ Del reminded him. ‘Let’s get your cigarettes, won’t be long,’ Del had already pulled into a convenience store parking lot and parked up, he jumped out the car, leaving Jesse with the stash.

Jesse saw Del’s phone and it was unlocked, so he picked it up without hesitation and dialled his dad’s number.

‘Del? Is there a problem?’ his dad answered, and Jesse rolled his eyes.

‘Hey dad,’ Jesse answered.

‘Jesse? Are you ok?’

‘Yeah, I guess I just wanted to check you were ok with me being out with Del tonight?’ Jesse asked.

‘Er, yeah, of course, I trust Del to look after you, he’s a good man,’ his dad returned.

‘But what about my homework, my studies?’ Jesse asked confused.

‘You’ve kept to the system really well, so I guess go and just go and enjoy yourself, have some fun as a reward for your hard work but don’t let things slip, if you can keep to the system you’ll be able to spend more time with Del, how does that sound?’ his father offered.

‘Sounds good,’ Jesse agreed, realising he was getting the freedom he wanted. ‘Were you expecting me home tonight?’

‘No, didn’t Del tell you?’ His dad answered. ‘He offered to let you stay with him till Sunday afternoon, let you really have some fun and away from us boring old parents,’ he attempted to joke.

‘Wow, ok, I didn’t realise,’ Jesse stated. ‘Ok, well, I guess I’ll see you Sunday.’

‘Have fun, Jesse,’ His father signed off.

Jesse put the phone back down in shock before he sighed, rubbing his face at the clash of emotions he was feeling in that moment. He was having fun, the Go-Karts and playing the X-Box, that was more fun than he’d had in over a month in just a few hours but then finding out the truth, that still didn’t sit well. Jesse then realised that Del trusted him with that information, he could have screamed at his dad just then about the fact he had effectively prostituted him, but Jesse sighed, it didn’t feel like that and Del had said this was his choice, only what he was comfortable with.

Jesse let his head drop back, he was really curious about everything Del had in the brown bag, and if he was honest he was almost pining to explore what else his body could do, or feel with another person. He closed his eyes with the conflict inside him, it felt dirty and bad and everything he was sure he’d been warned about at school as not a good thing, but he couldn’t help how it made him feel.

He saw Del walking back to the car with what looked like enough cigarettes for life in his arms, he dumped them on the back seat and started up the car.

‘They can’t all be for me,’ Jesse laughed.

‘I just don’t want to risk running out,’ Del smiled.

‘What, ever?’ Jesse mocked.

‘You seem a bit brighter?’ Del observed.

‘I just found out I’m staying with you for the weekend,’ Jesse announced and Del narrowed his eyes. ‘I used your phone to call dad, he told me the plan.’

‘It was only if you wanted to,’ Del stated. ‘I wasn’t going to push it.’

‘I want to,’ Jesse confirmed but he couldn’t look at Del when he said it.

‘Then we best get you back to my place,’ Del grinned. ‘We have a lot to get through.’


	4. In too deep...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Jesse agrees to stay at Del's, theres is no turning back, Del has Jesse right where he wants him once he starts paying him some needed attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get very intense in this one as Jesse and Del connect... it shouldn't be a surprise but if you wish to avoid the explicit once Del asks Jesse for a hug the next morning it's safe to click away and know stuff happens, and then they get ready to go the mall... ;)

‘Are you sure it’s ok to smoke in here?’ Jesse asked again looking around the immaculate apartment. ‘You don’t want me to open a window or something?’

Del looked at Jesse as he sorted through the brown bag, emptying the contents on the counter. ‘I said its fine, ok?’

‘Ok,’ Jesse idly responded. ‘So, what’s all this, yo,’ Jesse asked, picking up the bags. ‘I mean I know this is hash, weed, whatever but what’s this crystal stuff?’

‘That crystal stuff, I’m sorry is not for you at least not yet,’ Del stated.

‘Then why buy it?’ Jesse asked confused.

‘It’s not for you, said nothing about it not being for me,’ Del returned with a grin.

‘You don’t think I can handle it?’ Jesse asked, examining the bag in his hand.

‘No, I’m sure you could but its dangerous stuff, it’s crystal meth, it can wreck you very quickly if you let it and you will need to show me that you can be a certain level of mature before I’ll let you touch it, ok?’ Del stated. ‘I’m not being an arsehole about this, just the stuff even scares me, ok, so I don’t know, I need to know you a bit better before I’d feel comfortable with you using it.’

‘Ok,’ Jesse accepted which drew an admiring glance from Del. ‘But I can have some joints?’

‘I’ll get some rolled up, go put a film on, something easy because I don’t want to have to focus too hard,’ Del smiled.

Jesse wandered back to the living room and sat down on the large sofa, kicking his sneakers off. He finished his cigarette as he turned on the TV and then spotted the dvd collection, Jesse hurried over to pick something to Del’s requirements.

‘How does Lethal Weapon sound?’ Jesse called out, he had heard about the films but never seen them before, his mother hated violent movies.

‘Perfect, a classic, good choice,’ Del called back.

Jesse sorted out the disk and then returned to the sofa and Del soon joined him sitting on the other end, before hitting play and the movie began. Part way through the opening scene Del lit up two joints and handed one to Jesse, who remembered Samsons advice and paced himself, he hadn’t had a joint to himself before so he didn’t want to make a rookie mistake in front of Del.

The effects seem to hit him immediately as he felt himself sinking into the sofa, he was already slouched, partly due to the sofa being so big and soft, but now his head lulled against the back, and he grinned at the film for a moment, finding a scene with lots of gunshots and blood very amusing.

‘Sick bastard,’ Del laughed at Jesse’s amusement, who just giggled in return.

A good time had passed when Jesse took a final drag on his joint, it had lasted him a long while and he was feeling so relaxed and happy with its effects, he discarded the last ebb of it in a nearby ashtray, and continued to watch the film only vaguely following the plot now. It was only once there was a sex scene that Jesse realised how horny he was suddenly feeling, partly due to his age when seeing anything slightly sexual on screen but also the lingering effects of the joint.

‘Someone’s enjoying the film,’ Del remarked and Jesse felt his skin flush, as he saw the obvious bulge that was hard to miss in the slouching position he had adopted, he quickly sat up in a frenzy. 

‘Shit, sorry, man, not cool,’ Jesse tried to hide it Del stopped him.

‘If you have to deal, just deal man, we’re all cool here,’ Del stated calmly.

‘What, here?’ Jesse checked unsure.

‘The bathroom is just down the hall,’ Del suggested.

Jesse quickly got to his feet and hurried to the bathroom. Once inside he was quick to beat one out, he felt like he was going to explode as he took a moment to catch his breath once done. He cleaned himself up and accepted the humiliating walk back to the sofa, ready to face whatever Del had to say in response. Instead, Del just acknowledge his return but said nothing, as Jesse settled back down allowing himself to relax once again, it was just a natural normal thing Jesse started to believe.

A little while passed, and another joint was lit up, this time shared between them as the film started to reach it conclusion. Jesse’s head was swimming in a good way, a fixed inane grin on his face. He felt hot but did little about it and then he heard noises, in his bliss he casually glanced over to Del and it took him a moment to realise he had his dick out, and was masturbating right there next to him.

Jesse just found himself staring, the film long forgotten. ‘You ok?’ Jesse asked.

‘You don’t mind, do you?’ Del checked.

‘Er, no, it’s cool, it’s your house,’ Jesse reasoned, and looked away for a few seconds before looking back. He wasn’t sure why he found himself so fascinated by what Del was doing, it was not all that different to how he beat himself off, but to be a spectator was something new to him, to see it from another perspective, it had just caught his attention.

‘Can you grab me some tissues,’ Del then calmly asked. Jesse sprang up and grabbed a handful from the box on the table and handed them to Del without comment. ‘This is your fault, just so you know,’ he said as his breathing got quicker.

‘My fault, what for just sitting here or some shit?’ Jesse returned, not understanding what he had done.

‘No, earlier, imagining you beating yourself off in the bathroom, my heads gone wild,’ Del smirked.

‘Oh,’ Jesse simply offered, not realising he might have wanted to watch him and trying to be ok with that. He wasn’t stupid or ignorant to the fact that at time’s he had been catching Del looking at him, a glint in his eye that suggested he liked what he saw, but he also didn’t want to be a tease. There were girls at school that he’d seen totally string boys along, then get all angry at being harassed, it felt messed up even though he wanted to be cool about individual rights. 

Remembering that his Dad had set this whole thing up, the introduction as Del referred to it, it did make it feel a bit dirty and creepy suddenly. Would his dad be disappointed if he didn’t put out, didn’t earn the money they’d been given for him being there, Jesse suddenly wondered in his drugged fuelled haze. He did like being with Del, it was so much better than being at home and he felt happier in one evening than he had for weeks, so where was the problem and if he could make Del happy, then why not?

‘Er, do you, maybe,’ Jesse paused, unsure but with Del staring at him now he knew he had to finish his question. ‘Do you want a hand?’ Jesse then shakily asked, remembering how good it felt when Jackson gave him a hand job, and wondering if that was a normal thing for two adult men to do.

‘Jesse, don’t say things like that unless you mean it,’ Del momentarily slowed his pace down however, taking controlled breaths.

‘I mean it,’ Jesse said, but looked nervous, his thoughts now clashing inside him, he felt like he wanted nothing more than to touch that dick but was equally berating himself for wanting to touch another man’s dick.

Del looked at Jesse for a moment, then making sure he didn’t break eye contact he reached for Jesse’s hand, Jesse scooted a little close to Del as he guided Jesse’s hand onto his dick. With a little hesitation Jesse tentatively wrapped his fingers around the shaft, it was only a bit thicker than his own and he began to slide his hand up and down.

‘Oh Jesus, this is hot,’ Del strained as adapted to the new sensation.

Encouraged Jesse found a good pace and started to feel the pulse, knowing Del was already close he increased the speed, adding more pressure and then heard a cry of pure bliss as Del came, and Jesse just watched in wonder as Del collapsed back into the sofa, looking exhausted but wearing the shit eating grin. ‘Thanks,’ Del offered finally.

‘No problem,’ Jesse half smiled, then glanced at the TV seeing the film menu was showing. ‘Film’s ended,’ he commented, then grabbed a few of the tissues noticing Del had caught his hand with his release.

‘Can I ask you something?’ Del spoke up as he used the tissues to clean himself up, and Jesse just nodded his head, he hadn’t moved away from Del’s side. ‘Would you mind just lying here with me?’

Jesse considered the question, he couldn’t see the harm and without word he just adjusted himself to move alongside Del, who wrapped an arm around Jesse as he snuggled in close, his head now resting on Del’s shoulder.

‘Like this?’ Jesse checked.

‘Yeah, that’s nice,’ Del replied and Jesse felt comfortable in his hold, he felt safe and wanted, neither of them noticed when they both quickly fell asleep.

* * *

It was the early hours when Jesse stirred, he felt the warmth first and realised his head was resting on another man’s chest and it felt nice. He groaned a little as he flexed a little bit, a wave of uncertainly tried to grip Jesse as he tried to remain asleep, but he was all too aware of the sleeping man next to him.

‘Hey sleepy, you ok?’ Del murmured.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse returned.

‘We should probably go to bed proper,’ Del checked his watch and moved to get up. ‘You can continue to sleep on the sofa, I have some pillows and duvet, but if you want the comforts of a bed, well I have king size so plenty of room, your choice,’ Del offered.

‘Sofa is fine,’ Jesse stated, pushing himself up, not wanting to be a pain.

Del got to his feet and a few minutes later returned with some bedding that Jesse took and started to turn the large sofa into a makeshift bed.

‘Maybe we’ll go out tomorrow and get you some things, clothes and toiletries that you can keep here so you don’t have to pack each time,’ Del said in a half yawn.

‘That sounds cool,’ Jesse enthused, he hated packing and the idea of being brought new things sounded great, it had been so long since he’d got anything new.

‘Ok, well my room is just right at the end of that hallway, if you need anything, you already know where the bathroom is, feel free to check the cupboards I might have a spare toothbrush but use mine if not, not perfect but should have planned this a little better,’ Del smirked.

‘Seriously, thanks, this is all cool,’ Jesse responded. ‘Tonight, was a lot of fun, beats being stuck in my room at home.’

‘Yeah, you’ll have to tell me a bit more about this home life, doesn’t sound too great,’ Del offered. ‘Let’s talk tomorrow.’

Jesse nodded his head and watched as Del retired to the back room, then busied himself preparing his bed on the sofa before heading to the bathroom to freshen up, using his finger as a makeshift toothbrush. He had taken his vitamins a few minutes earlier and now shuddered as he felt dizzy momentarily, and wondered if they didn’t go well with the weed he’d been smoking, it quickly passed so he returned to the sofa.

He had been lying in the temporary bed for over twenty minutes, trying to return to sleep but he felt unsettled suddenly, just remembering how comforting and nice it had been lying next to Del. The simple sensation of feeling protected, loved even, was overwhelming him and he realised he was wide awake. He stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts torturing him as his mind wandered to the very short walk to the bedroom, just down the hall.

Jesse clenched his eyes shut and gripped the sheets. Starting to work out the pros and cons, trying to work out the mixed-up shit he was getting involved in. He knew bottom line it was wrong everything was wrong about this entire set up. His dad had brokered a deal that introduced him to a man at least ten year’s older than him, maybe a little more, without discussing it with him. Did he want to risk a beating from his dad if Del reported back that he only got a hand job? Jesse sat up and put his head in his hands, but he liked Del, and Del seemed to like him and everything had been consensual, hadn’t it? Jesse considered, he had not forced Jesse to do anything, hadn’t Del been ready and so close to taking Jesse home, because that’s what Jesse had wanted.

Jesse took a deep breath, quite simply he didn’t want to go home, he hated his home. His room had become his prison, his parents set out a routine to constantly remind him how stupid he was, even gave him stupid vitamins in a bid to fix his stupid, in the hope that if he worked hard enough he’d be less stupid and maybe by some miracle be not so stupid that he couldn’t graduate.

Del let him play the console, watch semi-violent movies, took him Go-Karting, brought him things he needed, and in return he just wanted his company, and Jesse realised that maybe he just wanted company too, he’d been so lonely and devoid of any affection for months, maybe even years he really couldn’t say.

He remembered Samson, Jackson, Julie and even Wylie Coyote, he’d only known them a few hours but the fondness he had for them, because they gave a shit, wanted to be with him, that was immense and Jesse felt tears forming in his eyes. He needed this, Jesse told himself, he fucking deserved some attention, and he was going to enjoy every bit of attention Del wanted to give him regardless of what stuffy old suits might say. Jesse wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and got to his feet.

Jesse approached the bedroom and slowly pushed the door open, being as quiet as he could be. His eyes were already adjusted to the low light and he could see the outline of Del on the left side of the bed, so he nervously approached the right side, not wanting to wake Del. Dressed only in his boxers, not having the option of pyjamas due to not packing for the weekend away he had known nothing about, Jesse climbed in and quickly settled on his side, facing away from Del. It took only a few minutes for Jesse to finally fall asleep.

* * *

The sun shone brightly into the high-rise apartment when Jesse next opened his eyes and he glanced over to see Del was no longer in the bed. He stretched, wondering what the time was and lay on his back as he tried to wake up. The bedroom door opened and Del walked in with a tray of fruits and a pot of coffee that he rested at the top of the bed.

‘Good morning sleepy, when did you invade my bed?’ Del asked brightly.

‘Couldn’t get comfortable out there,’ Jesse simply said. ‘I hope this was ok?’

‘Of course, you look like you slept well,’ Del smiled. ‘Now tuck in,’ he gestured to the food as he got back on the bed and began to pick out some fruit.

Jesse stayed under the covers but scooted up to the tray and picked some fruit for himself and began to eat, not realising how hungry he was. Once they had finished Del placed the tray on the floor and returned to the bed, he sat crossed legged across from Jesse.

‘Ok, so we should talk because I don’t want you to ever feel like you are not in control, ok?’ Del stated firmly. ‘We both know there’s grey areas going on here, I know you’re not stupid.’

‘It’s cool, my dad needed money and sold me to you,’ Jesse smirked. ‘No grey areas at all.’

Del heavy sighed, he knew Jesse was teasing but he wanted to have a serious conversation.

‘Seriously, yo,’ Jesse then lost the smirk. ‘I was thinking about this last night and I feel in control here, I really do, and I know this is messed up shit, but that’s been my reality for a while now and I have zero control at home,’ Jesse offered, then his expression turned dark. ‘I’ll be honest, like completely honest, yo, if I was forced to endure what my parents were making me do for another month or two, certainly till the end of high school, the whole being locked up in my room every night, only studying and getting absolutely nothing back,’ Jesse rubbed his face, needing to say these words. ‘The past month I’ve been doing that there’s been zero improvement at school, nothing, just comments from teachers that I look withdrawn, not interested, but well done for no longer having the will to be noticed, or behave badly, they are giving me fucking praise for that shit,’ Jesse stressed with some anger. ‘Well that’s because I just gave up,’ Jesse could feel his eyes watering, his emotions always so close to the surface. ‘I’ve stopped caring, and I was starting to think of ways to kill myself as quickly and painlessly as possible to just get some payback, I keep imagining what their faces would be like if they found me dead one morning, but would they even fucking care?’ The words felt like they hurt his throat, a sob escaped as he realised, he had been holding those dark thoughts in.

‘Shit, Jesse,’ Del managed finally. ‘So, they would literally lock you in your room?’

‘No distractions, take the stupid pills, had to study, couldn’t fail high school,’ Jesse said like a mantra. ‘Wouldn’t even let me see my kid brother I was such a bad influence, like I couldn’t handle the distraction or could somehow risk infecting my perfect brother with my dumb disease.’

‘What the hell did you do to have that imposed?’ Del asked.

Jesse shrugged as the tears continued to fall. ‘I dared to live and breathe, I don’t know, things just don’t make any sense to me anymore. I go to school, sit in class and I read the same shit everyone else does, hear the same lectures but it doesn’t stick, nothing makes sense my head just feel like mush,’ Jesse berated himself. ‘So I get bored, I’d do stuff, but apparently that stuff was distracting the other kids so I’d get punished, now I just sit at the back and, I dunno,’ Jesse explained sadly, wiping his eyes. ‘Then I discovered I could sneak out of my room at night, parents had no idea and I found this group of people on the street, they accepted me immediately, I dunno they just liked me, but I lied to them, so now they hate me too.’

‘You lied to them?’ Del questioned.

‘Said I was 18,’ Jesse looked troubled. ‘They’d given me joints to share, they’d done stuff with me, popped my cherry with them, yo, I loved it,’ he offered a wry smile.

‘They lost their shit when they found out?’ Del realised.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse frowned.

‘What was it like to lose your virginity?’

‘Aw come on, I’m not talking about that shit,’ Jesse complained with an embarrassed smile.

Del laughed with him. ‘I remember I was your age, fifteen, it was one of my mom’s friends, she got drunk and thought my room was the bathroom,’ Del remembered fondly.

‘Holy shit, really?’ Jesse questioned.

‘Yeah, it was a hot night, my sheets barely covered me, she just saw lunch I think,’ Del laughed. ‘I had absolutely no say, she had me hook line and sinker.’

‘Did your mom find out?’ Jesse asked.

‘No, it was all over in about 3 minutes, she tidied herself up and went back downstairs to re-join the dinner party,’ Del grinned.

‘Mine was a prostitute, but she didn’t charge,’ Jesse returned.

‘Fucking hell,’ Del looked shocked, but impressed.

‘It was amazing, and everything I imagined it would be just got fired right out of the park, I dunno, I just really needed it at that point I think, needed proof I fucking existed, then this guy blew me which I never knew could be so hot, and then on top of that I got given my first joint, that evening I just felt so alive, like I had finally arrived, woken up, worked it out,’ Jesse remembered.

‘Wow, sounds pretty amazing thing to experience,’ Del considered.

‘Until some cop picked me up still high and on level nine, took me the rest of the way home, that’s how dad found out I was no longer his little boy, he saw the hickey she left on me,’ Jesse frowned.

‘Oh, and same night he asked to, you know?’ Del questioned.

‘Yeah, dirty old perv,’ Jesse still felt anger about that incident.

‘I honestly didn’t know he had seen the goods if that’s the right way to put it,’ Del then said. ‘He just said his problem son was looking for a work placement, he’d heard I was good with school age interns and after a lot of dancing around the topic, I mean he had clearly done his homework, said he was willing to introduce you to me,’ Del explained.

‘So, this is your thing, you perv on schoolboys like me?’ Jesse asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Del admitted, not at all fazed by the question to Jesse’s surprise. ‘I mean, god this sounds so fucked up, I’ve never had to explain it to anyone before,’ Del struggled. ‘I just relate to young adults better than actual adults, people my own age are just so boring and all about washing machines and school runs,’ Del complained with a smile. ‘I’m just a big kid myself who happens to have made it rich whilst young, and now expected to be all grown up, drink wine and dine with colleagues.’

‘I get it, I never wanted to stop being a kid, but everybody else couldn’t wait,’ Jesse admitted.

‘Are you scared of me?’ Del then asked.

‘No,’ Jesse returned without hesitation, and he realised he found it so easy talking to Del, and being half naked with Del, in his fucking bed, he was more like a friend and not like the other adults he’d ever known.

‘Do you hate that I paid your parents money to be introduced to you?’

‘Yeah, but I’m more angry that my parents accepted money for someone to be my friend or whatever, but I don’t think I hate that you gave them money,’ Jesse admitted. ‘I know how much it means to them to send Jake to that school so maybe that will take the pressure of me a bit, I finally did something good, and Jake can be their focus now, their golden child and they can forget I exist,’ Jesse shrugged.

‘Why is there such an age difference between you and your brother?’ Del casually asked.

Jesse shrugged again. ‘Dad once said because they didn’t want to risk bringing another loser like me into the world,’ Jesse said, and it was clear it wasn’t said in jest when Jesse heard it.

‘Can I hug you?’ Del asked.

Jesse looked up, confused by the question, or rather the need to ask. ‘Sure,’ he agreed and Del moved closer, and behind Jesse and wrapped his arms around Jesse’s chest, resting against his back. Del brought his head down onto Jesse’s shoulder, and brought Jesse closer to him.

‘Is this ok?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse felt cocooned into Del’s hold, feeling Del’s bare chest against his back. He was kneeling behind him on the bed, which his thighs either side of his, his feet tucked under. Jesse then felt feathery kisses on the back of his neck, as Del continued to hold him.

‘Do you want to fuck me, Jesse?’ Del then asked against his neck.

‘Fuck you?’ Jesse repeated with surprise, unsure what it meant but wanting to understand.

‘Like you did that lady? Only, with a different hole,’ Del laughed at his own joke.

‘I’ve never,’ Jesse began but Del stopped him.

‘It’s ok, I’ll show you, if you want to,’ Del said with care.

Jesse felt an excitement he couldn’t explain. ‘I want to.’

Del leaned across to the side table and opened the drawer, retrieving a small tube of lubricant and Jesse was suddenly unsure, but hid it well. He simply watched as Del removed his pyjama bottoms and was now butt naked in front of him. He applied the lubricant to his fingers and Jesse was suddenly a little put off as Del spread his legs and he saw his butt hole. Without word, but not taking his eyes off Jesse, Del started to finger himself, first one finger then a second, stretching himself out and Jesse was captivated again.

‘Do you want to help loosen me up?’ Del asked.

Before Jesse really had time to think he was holding his hand out, and Del put lubricant on his fingers, and with curiously, Jesse prodded the hole until his finger went inside and he shirked back unsure.

‘Come on, its ok,’ Del encouraged.

Jesse returned his fingers to the hole, two of them easily slipped fully in now and froze when Del seemed to suddenly jerk back.

‘Oh my god, that’s the spot, Jesse, that is the spot!’ he exclaimed. ‘Keep rubbing that,’ he encouraged sounding strained and Jesse, wanting to do a good job, did just that. The noises Del was making were starting to turn Jesse on, and he felt his own dick getting hard knowing he was turning a grown man into mush just with just his fingers, it felt empowering. ‘Ok, stop, stop, please stop,’ Del smiled. ‘Stick it in, I see you’re ready but put a bit of this on to make things easier,’ Del gestured with the lubricant and squirted more on Jesse’s fingers when he offered them.

Jesse pushed his boxers down and then rubbed the lube onto his dick, ensuring a generous amount and then he hesitantly move closer, lined himself up and gently pushed his cock head against the hole.

‘Slowly,’ Del advised.

Jesse took a deep breath and began to ease his cock in, until it finally broke the resistance and with only a small pained groan from Del, Jesse realised he was in and instinct took over, as he began to pump his cock in and out of Del. The feeling was unreal, and the noises and expressions on Del’s face were a joy to witness as he quickened his pace. He was fucking a guy who lay prone beneath him and it felt so unreal and so right at the same time.

‘Jerk me off, Jesse,’ Del strained, the back of his head now flat against the bed as he dealt with the onslaught and Jesse took hold of Del’s cock and began to pump him in time with his own thrusts.

‘Holy mother of,’ Del looked like he was going to have a heart attack when he finally shot his load, and seconds later Jesse did likewise inside of him. Jesse collapsed down onto Del, slipping out of him, and he didn’t even care that he had landed on Del’s seed that covered his chest. ‘Come here,’ Del encouraged and Jesse needed no further invitation to kiss Del on the mouth, and they explored each other in pure bliss for a few seconds before the need to recapture their breath became more urgent.

Jesse lay on Del, taking deep breaths and just looked at the white cum, he absently put a finger into it and just because he was wondering, he brought the finger to his mouth.

‘Jesus, are you trying to kill me,’ Del complained with mocking tones.

‘What? I’ve never tasted it before,’ Jesse protested. ‘It’s horrid, if you must know.’

‘I didn’t need to and you’re wrong, it’s an acquired taste however, I’ll give you that,’ Del laughed and wrapped his arms around Jesse. He then pushed Jesse down onto his back and sat on top of him, he brushed his hands over Jesse’s chest. ‘I am such a bad man,’ he frowned. ‘But man, I’m a lucky one,’ he added. ‘If I get you hard again, do you want another go?’

‘Hell yeah,’ Jesse agreed.

Del backed up and took Jesse’s cock into his mouth and rapidly began to work it until it was hard again, Jesse’s sensations going wild as he enjoyed the ride. Before he knew what was going on he felt his dick going back into Del’s arse, this time Del was on top leaving him to just lay there in complete joy as his body responded to all the sensations.

Jesse came all too soon, and Del collapsed beside him, sweaty and exhausted they both just rested in each other’s arms for a short while.

‘You are enjoying this, right?’ Del asked suddenly.

‘Fucking hell, yeah,’ Jesse said with enthusiasm.

‘Do you want to do more things with me?’ Del asked.

‘What things?’ Jesse ventured.

‘Do you trust me?’

Jesse wasn’t sure how to respond. ‘I think so.’

‘Ok, let’s just try some things and you tell me if you are ok, yeah?’ Del asked, his voice calm and excited. Del sat up, gesturing to Jesse to stay lying down. He took both of Jesse’s wrists and held them above his head. ‘Is this ok, me holding your arms like this?’

‘Yeah, that’s cool,’ Jesse agreed.

‘Keep them there, I won’t hold them, Del then started to lick and tease Jesse’s nipples, taking each in turn, biting a little before siting up again. ‘You didn’t stop me, so, was that ok?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse agreed again, almost in a whisper.

‘So, you like to be teased, the anticipation, to be denied control?’ Del then asked. ‘That doesn’t scare you or make you feel uncomfortable?’

‘I think it turns me on,’ Jesse admitted with honesty.

Del moved up the bed, encouraging Jesse to scoot a bit further back and from under the headrest of the bed he produced two short chains with restraints on the end, with care he placed a wrist restraint to each of Jesses wrists.

‘Can you free your hands?’ Del tested and watched as Jesse tried and failed to free his hands. He then grabbed the duvet and threw it on the floor, leaving Jesse naked on the mattress. ‘Feet next,’ Del warned and when Jesse didn’t protest he recovered the chains at the bottom of the bed and fixed them to each ankle, Jesse didn’t need to be asked as he tested them both, he was pretty much secured to the bed now. ‘You look amazing,’ Del beamed and he saw the flush of red exploding across Jesse’s chest.

‘What now?’ Jesse asked with anticipation clear in his voice.

‘Now I think I might pop out to the mall, get a few things, have lunch,’ Del considered.

‘What? No!’ Jesse returned quickly, testing the restraints again.

‘I’m joking,’ Del grinned. ‘Let’s do a few more trust things because I need to be sure you are ok with this, panic attacks can really kill a mood, you know?’ Del teased and moved off the bed and walked into the walk-in wardrobe, emerging a few moments later with a large sized box.

‘What’s that?’ Jesse asked.

‘A toy box,’ Del answered. ‘For adults.’

‘I’m not an adult,’ Jesse smirked and Del just rolled his eyes.

‘Just pretend,’ Del joked and put the box down on the bed. He opened the lid and found a couple of smaller items. ‘Oh, this could be interesting, test your cocky resolve,’ Del teased and he brought the first clamp down on Jesse’s left nipple.

‘Ow!’ Jesse cried out and bucked a little but undeterred Del added the second one to the right nipple. ‘Ow, ow, what the fuck, man,’ Jesse moved about in the hope he could dislodge them.

‘Just relax, it’s ok,’ Del encouraged and put a reassuring hand on his stomach to get Jesse to stop moving and take some deep breaths. ‘Embrace the pain.’

‘They fucking hurt,’ Jesse complained, but with more composure until Del leant in and began to lick and tease the nipples around the clamps and Jesse eyes went wide. ‘Shit, shit, shit,’ he spoke quickly. Del was relentless for nearly five minutes and then stopped, causing Jesse to gasp at the loss of contact.

‘Ready?’ Del then asked and saw Jesse’s confused expression before he removed both clamps causing a whole fresh new wave of sensations and he began to lick and tease them all over again, Jesse’s body jerked and bucked but Del persisted.

‘Oh my god,’ Jesse finally breathed. 

Del now straddled Jesse’s hips. ‘You still ok with this?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, do your worst,’ Jesse teased with a grin.

‘You’re really getting off on this,’ Del realised and he began to lightly rub Jesse’s chest, he reached over to the box and took out some scented oil, rubbing a small amount into his hands and then reached up to Jesse’s shoulders, then down over his chest, and repeated the action. Jesse was clearly enjoying the feeling of his hands running over his skin, and he groaned when Del began to lightly use his fingernails. Pretty quickly Jesse’s skin became red from the attentions and Del began to introduce light slaps, to test Jesse’s reactions.

He edged down to place himself over Jesse’s thighs, and repeated the cycle from Jesse’s shoulders, to his chest, then over his ribs to his stomach and then around his groin, avoiding contact with his semi hard dick. Jesse’s groans grew louder, and he was moving to try and force some accidental touches, amusing Del as he lightly slap him each time he did, soaking up Jesse’s grin that seemed plastered on his face now as a light sheen started to cover his body.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity to Jesse, Del took hold of Jesse’s dick and began to pump it, Jesse seemed to come alive suddenly to the action. He bucked and started to appear drenched in sweat now, and in minutes he was coming but Del didn’t stop and Jesse’s groans became louder as Del forced Jesse’s body to keep reacting. Jesse kept forgetting to breath and screamed out when he felt a finger enter him, he rapidly gasped for breath, his body felt like it was electric as it jolted and bucked out of control, all he could do was ride the intensity. He felt another finger go in and then froze, feeling like all his senses had exploded at once as Del brushed his fingers over his prostate for the first time.

His body was rigid but Del was still stroking his cock and his prostate, and Jesse was straining to breath. His muscles were now hurting but he felt so alive, and when he finally focused enough to be back in the room he saw that Del was now fucking him, and he didn’t care because all his senses were heightened now, his body was limp and he was happy to just let Del do what Del needed to do. His cock offered up one last pathetic orgasm until that too was done and moments later the two men finally collapsed into their second sweaty recovery cuddle of the day. Del lazily undid the restraints on Jesse’s wrists so they could hold each other.

Jesse felt like he has just run a marathon and a sprint in quick succession, his body shivered and spasmed a little in the afterglow. Del ran his hand through Jesse’s damp hair and kissed him affectionately, before reaching over to the side table and lighting up a joint. He took a drag before handing it to a very wiling Jesse, who eagerly inhaled and handed it back.

‘You were amazing,’ Del finally spoke.

Jesse looked and felt exhausted but managed to sit up, he undid the restraints on his ankles, before taking the joint back once more and he let the drug sooth him as it felt it’s effects. He felt a hand on his back, gently stroking it and he smiled at the touch.

‘That was intense,’ Jesse managed finally finding the words.

‘Judging by the fixed grin you wore for most it is it safe to say you enjoyed that?’ Del asked.

‘I thought I was going to have a heart attack,’ Jesse admitted, with a smile.

‘I think we lost you for a bit there didn’t we?’ Del stated.

Jesse just nodded. ‘I felt like I was out of my body, then I came back, and you were fucking me,’ Jesse smiled.

‘I did ask if I could enter you and took a smiled groan to mean a yes, hope that was ok?’ Del grinned.

Jesse lay back down next to Del, a smile fixed on his face. ‘When can we do it again?’

Del leaned forward and kissed Jesse, who eagerly returned it before they pressed their foreheads together, still catching their breath.

‘We should get cleaned up, I promised you some clothes and stuff, didn’t I?’ Del stated.

‘If we stay in bed all day, I won’t need clothes,’ Jesse suggested.

‘As much as I admire your commitment, I’m not sure I can do much more today after that,’ Del joked. ‘I’m not a young gun like you,’ he added playfully. ‘Get in the shower,’ Del ordered gently pushing Jesse away from him.

Jesse moved from the bed and got to his feet, before stretching out and he made his way to the bathroom. Del followed him in, and as Jesse started the shower Del found the towels and put them on the side.

‘Mind if I join you?’ Del asked.

‘Er, sure,’ Jesse agreed.

Del put some soap on his hands and started to clean himself, there was more than enough room for the both of them in the space but with only one spray they had to take it in turns to go under until Del just decided to embrace Jesse and they both stood under the stream of water.

‘I didn’t hurt you, did I?’ Del checked, holding Jesse to his chest.

‘No,’ Jesse assured him. ‘Seriously, it’s all cool.’

Del shut off the water and gestured to the towels, he took one and wrapped Jesse up in it.

‘I just worry, I need to remember your age,’ Del said as he wrapped himself in a towel and began to dry himself.

‘Nothing you did just then freaked me out, ok? Look I know I’m supposedly just a kid, a minor in the eyes of the law but this is like education and I’m spose to learn right?’ Jesse offered.

‘I’m not going to kid myself, Jesse, you are just a kid, you’re barely a man and I bet you didn’t even think about this stuff this time last year,’ Del smiled.

‘I kinda did but my imagination wasn’t this wild,’ Jesse laughed.

‘Look, what we just did in there, some adults deep into their thirties or forties have never done,’ Del laughed. ‘But you handled that stuff well today, many would have freaked, you really took to it well, and I did some mad shit to you but you have to promise me that you never talk to anyone about this, and I don’t mean in that dirty little secret way but people will judge you and I don’t want you to experience that,’ Del stroked Jesse’s hair as he talked calmly. ‘I also have a public face so I need to be careful, but I do genuinely want to help you, you’re a good kid and your parents suck. I want to help you get out of this city, have a chance at life,’ Del offered sincerely. ‘I fear if you get stuck here, what might become of you, Jesse, so let’s also focus on that head of yours and getting you graduated from high school and with good business skills, yeah?’

‘Sounds good,’ Jesse agreed with a hopeful smile.

‘Right, you good to wear the clothes you arrived in yesterday, or do you want to borrow something?’ Del asked.

‘I’m good with my stuff,’ Jesse responded. ‘Once I’ve found it all.’

Del smirked and they went off to get changed before heading out to the shops for new supplies.


	5. A bad turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse is still enjoying discovering new things, but learning they don't mix so well

‘This is too much, man,’ Jesse exclaimed as he went through the many bags they had brought in from the car after a marathon five hours at the mall. ‘I won’t even have time to wear half this stuff before I’ve grown out of it.’

‘Are you kidding, me?’ Del laughed. ‘All the stuff you brought was at least six times too big for you, you’ll be fine with these clothes for many years, trust me,’ Del smirked. ‘And quit worrying, it was fun to spoil you. That cashier sure won’t be judging you ever again.’

‘Oh man, her face when I dumped all that gear at her till, like I was some dumb ass shoplifter who didn’t know how to shoplift,’ Jesse grinned. ‘She called security, like what the fuck?’

‘Then she insulted me by thinking I was old enough to be your dad, stupid bitch,’ Del joked.

‘Are you?’ Jesse then asked seriously.

‘Fuck off,’ Del laughed and threw one of the bags at him, Jesse ducked with a cheeky smile. ‘If you were my kid, I would of had you when I was twelve or thirteen, or something, ok? I’m not old enough to be your dad.’

‘Still old though,’ Jesse remarked with a smirk.

‘Which proved to be a good thing or you’d have been kicked out of that mall earlier,’ Del stated.

‘It’s cool, you don’t act like an old dude,’ Jesse commented, as he checked out one of many t-shirts he had picked out.

‘Thank you, I’ll take that as a compliment,’ Del grinned. ‘Do you want a drink?’

‘A coke would be good,’ Jesse perked up.

‘How about a real drink?’ Del asked. ‘I have beers, spirits,’ he gestured.

‘You know I’m not old enough,’ Jesse returned.

‘Like that matters in these four walls,’ Del raised his eyebrows.

Jesse looked unsure and then shrugged. ‘Never really had alcohol before, the rents would never approve, so not sure what I like.’

‘Let me pick something out for you,’ Del suggested and disappeared, leaving Jesse to continue looking at the mountain of clothes he now owned. A couple of minutes later he returned with two straight tall glasses. ‘Figured I wouldn’t stray too far from what you know.’

‘It looks like coke,’ Jesse remarked as he took the glass.

‘Try it,’ Del encouraged.

Jesse took a mouthful and instantly tasted the difference, he could still pick out the coke but there was something much stronger in there, and as he gulped it down he felt a mild effect on him, he took a couple more mouthfuls to be sure.’

‘Whoa, don’t down it too quickly,’ Del said with amusement.

‘What is this?’ Jesse finally asked, liking the effect it had on him, he felt himself relaxing.

‘Just a vodka and coke, well, double vodka, wanted to make sure you got a hit from it,’ Del offered.

‘Wow, I really do feel it,’ Jesse drank some more. ‘I always thought alcohol would taste disgusting, but this is ok.’

‘There is so much more to discover,’ Del revealed. ‘Why don’t you try some of your new stuff on?’

‘Perv,’ Jesse threw back.

‘Come on, I paid for it, I should get an exclusive showing,’ Del argued. ‘I want you to try on,’ Del swiftly moved amongst the piles of clothes and put some together. ‘These, try on these,’ Del requested. ‘Finish your drink, I’ll get you another whilst you change.’

‘I thought you said not to down it too quickly,’ Jesse asked.

‘I’ve changed my mind,’ Del smirked and downed his own drink, then watched as Jesse did likewise. ‘Go change,’ Del ordered, and hurried to get fresh drinks.

Jesse felt a light fuzzy sensation on the edge of his consciousness so took care as he grabbed the clothes Del had selected. He moved to the corner of the living room, and feeling confident he stripped down, noticing Del had selected a pair of his new boxers to be part of the show. He managed to get fully changed into the new outfit before Del got back.

‘Here you go, outfit number one,’ Jesse paraded, the oversized jeans, t-shirt and hoodie that dwarfed his frame, but he loved how it felt on him, he felt much more grown up now, he could easily hide on the streets and not stand out like a little kid whose mother still bought his clothes for him.

‘Looking good,’ Del observed and handed Jesse his new drink. ‘Let me see the boxers.’

Jesse rolled his eyes and sighed. ‘Dirty bastard,’ he remarked and loved that Del let him curse him, it just made the growing bond between them stronger. ‘You seriously want me to do this?’

‘It’s up to you,’ Del shrugged.

Jesse really did want to do it, just didn’t want to be seen to be too eager, so he paused for a few more moments before shrugging off his hoodie, then removed his t-shirt. ‘I need a drink,’ he explained as he quickly took a couple more gulps of his vodka and coke, loving how it was making him feel, how quickly It worked. He then unbuttoned his jeans and let them drop, stepping out of them. He spun around with his arms outstretched and only stumbled a little before righting himself again.

‘Perfection,’ Del grinned, offering his glass in appreciation.

‘Anything else you want to see?’ Jesse absently asked, looking at the pile of clothes, but then clocked Del’s expression. ‘Fucking perv,’ Jesse teased, and returned to his drink.

‘Let’s watch a movie,’ Del suggested, and watched as Jesse reached down to grab his jeans. ‘Hey, you’re good as you are.’

‘Seriously?’ Jesse checked with a mocking frown.

‘I think so, but if you’re cold then sure, cover up again,’ Del gestured as he moved to the sofa.

In defiance, Jesse picked up his hoodie and put it on, zipping it right up before grabbing his drink and joining Del on the sofa, he sat next to him and didn’t miss and small shake of the head Del made with a small smile.

‘Do you want me to pick out a movie again?’ Jesse asked.

‘No, I have one I want you to see,’ Del pointed the controls at the tv to switch it all on, then used another control to dim the lights.

‘Wow, it’s like a cinema in here now,’ Jesse remarked, bringing his legs up onto the sofa to sit crossed legged.

The film began and Jesse’s eyes went wide with the first thing he saw. ‘What the fuck,’ Jesse asked, his mouth hanging open as he saw two men and a lady naked and totally into each other. ‘We’re watching a porno?’

‘You have a problem with that?’ Del asked innocently.

‘I think my parents would,’ Jesse said.

‘We were doing far worse just this morning,’ Del pointed out. ‘You didn’t have a problem then.’

‘Yeah but,’ Jesse was lost for words as his eyes remained fixed on the movie, there was definitely no plot to follow with this one and he finished his second drink in record time. He didn’t even notice Del had left the sofa to get him another until it was handed to him. ‘Are you getting me drunk?’

‘Maybe,’ Del grinned, as he leaned back into the sofa.

‘Good,’ Jesse simply said and started to drink his third glass.

‘Lean back, Jesse, do whatever you need to do,’ Del encouraged, and Jesse already knew Del was playing with himself. But Jesse didn’t lean back, instead he kept drinking his drink and watching the goings on onscreen with fascination. This was the first porno he had ever seen, properly, Badger had once shown him about 20 seconds of a porno he’d downloaded to his phone before the service dropped, but it was not like this, certainly not in high definition on a big screen with no holding back.

‘Relax Jesse,’ Del said softly.

‘I need to pee,’ Jesse suddenly realised.

‘You don’t have to hide in the bathroom, Jesse,’ Del said.

‘No seriously, I need to pee, three cokes in under an hour?’ He gestured and hurried to the bathroom, only just making it and then finding it a whole new battle to find his aim once he started to relieve himself. Once done, Jesse took a deep breath, his cock was half hard and he knew what was probably going to happen. He looked at himself in the mirror, he felt lightheaded and fuzzy, and in his daze, he suddenly remembered he hadn’t taken his pills. He went out into the hallway and found his school bag to retrieve them, knowing he couldn’t miss a dose before returning to the living room. Taking his drink, he downed the two pills and sat back into the sofa.

‘What the shit did you just take?’ Del suddenly asked.

‘My vitamins,’ Jesse offered tiredly.

‘Vitamins?’ Del checked.

‘Yeah, my parents go apeshit if I miss a dose,’ Jesse explained. ‘I almost forgot this morning, but remembered before we left to go to the shops.’

‘And they are just vitamins?’ Del asked.

‘Yeah, I think so,’ Jesse nodded his head.

‘Ok,’ Del relaxed a little, and returned his attention to the film, and to his dick.

Jesse was a little confused by Del’s reaction, but soon relaxed, now relieved and he found himself getting aroused by the film, he was completely entranced by the concept of three adult humans doing what they were doing to each other, and the noises they were making. He felt himself getting hard, but resisted touching himself, he just couldn’t do it, it felt wrong and weird in front of Del for some reason and he brought his knees up as he hugged them.

‘Do you want me to stop the film?’ Del then asked.

‘No,’ Jesse replied, keeping his eyes on the TV.

‘You look uncomfortable,’ Del observed.

‘I’ve just never seen anything like this,’ Jesse admitted.

Del smirked. ‘Come on, come here,’ Del gestured for Jesse to sit closer to him. ‘Come on, I won’t jump you I promise, I just want you to relax a little more.’

‘I am relaxed,’ Jesse stated, but still scooted closer to Del until they were side by side. ‘Those three drinks have made my head all happy and fuzzy,’ Jesse admitted and snuggled next to Del, settling into his hold.

‘Good, that’s more like it,’ Del offered warmly, and Jesse felt him kiss the top of his head.

Jesse eyes were now caught between watching the action on screen and having a front row seat to Del lazily tugging his own dick, and both were sights that still felt so new and exciting to him.

‘Aren’t you a little warm in that hoodie?’ Del then asked after a few quiet minutes.

‘No different to the shirt you have on,’ Jesse returned cockily, knowing exactly what Del was wanting and deciding to play difficult to get.

He watched as Del took his hand off his dick and began to unbutton his shirt, pushing it aside so his chest was exposed before returning to his dick. Likewise Jesse then slowly undid the zip of his hoodie and pushed it aside so his own chest was exposed.

‘Fucking tease,’ Del smiled, as he gently pushed Jesse onto his back and began to lick his nipples.

Jesse kept his eyes fixed on the screen as the porno continued to play and it heightened what Del was doing to him, mixed with the alcohol, he was succumbing to the pleasure of Del’s attentions with every second and ready to let him do whatever he wanted. Del’s hand grabbed Jesse’s bulge hidden by his boxers and Jesse bucked into him with urgent need.

Suddenly Jesse couldn’t breathe, panicked he gasped but felt like he was drowning, and his head spun madly before he felt things going black. Suddenly Jesse was aware again, sensing himself being physically thrown to the floor and pushed onto his side, a painful series of slaps to his back and rough fingers in his mouth before finally he was able to take a huge gulp of air, he started to cough and it seemed to last for a long time before finally he was able to just breathe, and the pain hit him as the tears fell.

‘Jesse? Come on, kid, Jesse, can you hear me?’ Del’s desperate voice broke through the cloudiness Jesse felt.

‘Yeah,’ he croaked.

‘Oh thank god,’ Del said with genuine relief, and Jesse felt himself being lifted up into an embrace, that Jesse willingly accepted and he clung to Del, he felt scared and exhausted.

‘Look at me,’ Del requested but had to physically move Jesse’s head, as he seemed unable to follow the simple instruction. Jesse tried to focus, but his head was still swimming. ‘What did you take, Jesse, what were in those pills?’

‘Vitamins,’ Jesse slurred.

‘Bullshit,’ Del returned harshly.

‘My parents,’ Jesse paused, still recovering. ‘They make me take them,’ Jesse defended.

‘Jesus,’ Del then exclaimed, and Jesse felt himself being lifted up and moved elsewhere. He then heard water, and figured Del had brought him to the bathroom, now running a bath and after a few minutes, he felt himself being lowered in and he shirked with the sudden wetness surrounding him. Del kept hold of him from the side of the bath, making sure he didn’t go below the waterline and then Jesse felt a washcloth scrubbing at his face and neck, before water was poured through his hair.

‘How are you feeling?’ Del asked, once he was done cleaning him and Jesse realised he still had his boxers on. Instead of answering Del’s question he started to try and remove his boxers, he was in the bath he couldn’t be wearing clothes, Jesse reasoned. ‘Hey, no, it’s ok, it’s cool to keep them on.’

‘No, they will get wet, I’m in the bath!’ Jesse snapped, and he attempted to push Del’s hands away from stopping him.

‘Ok, fine,’ Del conceded and Jesse removed his boxers and threw them over the side, before struggling without Del’s hold on him as he suddenly splashed the water trying to stay upright but his own exhaustion and effects of what he had consumed that evening were fighting him, and finally Del reached out and steadied him before he hurt himself. ‘Come on, let’s get you out of there before you get a chill.’

Jesse let Del lift him back out of the bath, and then be laid out with care on the floor as he proceeded to wrap a large bath towel around him, wrapping him up before picking him up again and taking him out of the bathroom. Jesse snuggled into the towel, he wasn’t aching as much now and his stomach felt better, his head still swam and he was feeling sleepy now.

He felt himself being lowered into a bed, the soft mattress and pillows were amazing, and as the duvet was brought up around him, after the towel had been removed, Jesse soon drifted off.

* * *

The light touch on his forehead stirred Jesse awake and he blinked his eyes a few times before seeing Del by his side in the bed, his face full of concern. Jesse had the duvet wrapped around him, leaving Del with just a sheet, but he didn’t seem to mind, and Jesse felt so comfortable and warm.

‘Hey, there,’ Del remarked as Jesse became more aware. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Mmmm,’ Jesse offered with a grimace, feeling a little numb. ‘What happened?’

‘Ah man,’ Del sighed. ‘You scared the shit out of me, that’s what happened.’

‘I did?’ Jesse wearily asked, starting to feel some aches, particularly in his head.

‘You were all nice and comfy lying next to me and suddenly you were choking on your own vomit, you stopped breathing for what felt the longest time, but I managed to clear your airway,’ Del recounted.

‘Why was I sick?’ Jesse questioned with confusion.

Del frowned. ‘I need to know what’s in those pills your parents make you take, that’s the only thing I think it was, possibly not a good combination with the drink.’

‘I’m never drinking again,’ Jesse decided as he rubbed his head with a groan.

Del grinned and reached out to jostle Jesse’s hair. ‘I think on this occasion it was more those pills you took, we will know for next time.’ Del leaned back and took a container from his side table. ‘Here, take a couple of pain killers,’ he offered two pills.

‘More drugs,’ Jesse commented as he accepted the pills, and took each one once Del provided a glass of water. Once done, Jesse gathered up the duvet again and groaned, he felt terrible. After a few moments he felt Del embrace him and hold him. ‘I need to take my vitamins,’ Jesse then spoke and tried to move but felt Del holding him tighter.

‘You can miss one dose,’ Del said softly.

‘No, my Dad will kill me,’ Jesse began to struggle against Del’s hold.

‘Jesse, you can miss one dose, ok?’ Del insisted. ‘You’re not well, you don’t need them right now.’

Jesse tried a couple more times to free himself but gave up when he realised Del was actually serious, and relaxed into his hold, it was a strange feeling of trust. ‘You can tell my dad you stopped me when he asks,’ Jesse tiredly remarked.

‘Oh, I will be having words, don’t worry,’ Del stated and Jesse was too tired to ask what that meant as he soon fell into needed sleep.

* * *

The door opened and Jesse barely acknowledged his dad as he walked past him, into the house. Del followed and they both stopped in the hallway.

‘Jesse, let me talk to your dad, maybe put your bags in your room,’ Del suggested and Jesse just nodded his head without word. He stopped halfway up as he saw Del and his dad move into the kitchen, before he continued into his room. Once there he began to unpack some of his new clothes, he had left a larger selection at Del’s but wanted to have some to wear to school so brought them back with him. He was about to empty his school bag when he heard raised voices and froze.

His room was too far away from the kitchen for him to hear what was being discussed, but by the tone and volume Jesse feared it wasn’t good, and began to panic that maybe he hadn’t been all that Del had hoped for. He sank to the floor and edged back against the wall of his room, under the window, wishing he could escape but that hadn’t been an option since his dad had sealed it up. Every sound of the discussion caused Jesse’s anxiety to rise, and he guessed that his dad was going to beat the merry crap out of him, he knew it, and his breathing quickened, knowing he had no escape.

Random thoughts now erupted in Jesse’s head as he allowed himself to get worked up about things. Getting ill, Jesse considered, that had really upset Del but he hadn’t wanted to drink so how was that his fault, Del made him, he reasoned. He froze when he heard a light knock at the door, and only calmed slightly when his mom walked in.

‘Jesse?’ she questioned almost immediately on seeing him sat on the floor, mid panic attack. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘They’re arguing, it’s my fault,’ Jesse relayed as if it was obvious.

‘Mr Burley and your father?’ his mom checked and Jesse nodded his head. ‘What about?’

‘I got sick,’ Jesse answered.

His mom knelt down beside him immediately and checked his forehead. ‘You do seem a little hot, you have dark bags under your eyes, what happened? Why are you so scared?’

‘Dad’s going to kill me,’ Jesse stressed. ‘I didn’t do my homework, I didn’t take my pills this morning, I got sick last night, real sick, I’ve upset Del,’ Jesse relayed all the reasons, working himself up further as a sob escaped.

‘Let me go and see if I can help,’ his mom offered, getting back to her feet. ‘You don’t have to be scared.’

‘I don’t want Dad to hit me again, mom,’ Jesse offered sheepishly, he needed someone on his side, and his mom always used to be that person.

His mom just looked at him now, and it was hard to read the expression she wore. ‘How was your weekend with the Burleys?’

‘With Del?’ Jesse corrected. ‘It was fun, we went go-karting, played video games, watched movies,’ Jesse responded with the things he felt safe to mention. ‘We went shopping, look at the cool stuff he got me,’ Jesse gestured eagerly to the clothes on his bed.

‘Was his family nice?’ she asked, as she picked through some of the new clothes, noting the labels but not looking as impressed as Jesse thought she would.

‘Family?’ Jesse was confused. ‘It was just Del,’ he answered.

‘Just Del Burley, and you?’ his mom checked.

‘Yeah, but it was really good fun, mom,’ Jesse smiled. ‘He said next weekend we can go to the theme park.’

Jesse’s mom just stared at him. ‘Well we will see what your dad says, shall we?’ she smiled, it lacked any warmth and Jesse’s face dropped instantly, he hadn’t factored in that maybe it wouldn’t be that easy.

Raised voices were heard again, and Jesse couldn’t help but react in fear at what it could mean, and he was unable to hide his reaction from his mom. 

‘Jesse, love,’ his mom offered. ‘You know everything me and your father do, it’s because we want the best for you, right?’

Jesse wanted to scoff but wisely decided to just numbly nod his head, not believing a word of it anymore, too much had happened in the past month.

‘I’m sure this Mr Burley is being really nice to you, taking you to fun places but that won’t help you when you leave school, what we are doing for you is for your long term happiness, not some quick thrills at a theme park,’ she stressed. Jesse froze again on hearing more raised voices, ignoring what his mother was saying. ‘Jesse, are you afraid of your father?’

Jesse glared at his mom clearly triggered, how can she be so blind and stupid, he wondered. ‘Of course I am, Mom, he makes my life hell, I hate it here and everything I do is wrong, and usually ends up with me getting beaten by him!’ he stressed. ‘That’s why I’m afraid, if I’ve upset Del, then that will upset Dad, and he’ll beat me and it’s game over, mom, I can’t do this anymore, I can’t keep doing this, I’d rather be dead!’

The words came out before Jesse realised and he saw it instantly, the shock, the pain, the upset as his mom brought her hand up and slapped him hard. ‘I don’t know where you get this crazy ideas, Jesse, why would you say that, this is your home and your father loves you, we both love you, why are you so ungrateful!’ she snapped and quickly left the room.

Jesse took some measured breaths, he wanted to cry, for the floor to swallow him whole, he wanted to be anywhere else but where he was right now. Panicked now, Jesse scrambled to his feet and checked the window, frantically trying to break the seal that now kept it closed. Like a trapped animal he hit the frame and the glass, like he was possessed, he needed air, he needed to escape and get as far away from this house as he could. He screamed in frustration and anger, repeatedly hitting the glass but getting nowhere.

He felt strong arms around his chest pulling him away, and he struggled, lashing out against the hold. He wanted to break free, but was powerless and after a minute his energy and fight started to rapidly leave him, his mind foggy as he gasped for air, through his sobs.

‘Jesse, look at me!’ his father raged as he spun him around with force, taking hold of Jesse’s jacket, trying to get his attention. ‘What did you say to upset your mother!’

‘Nothing!’ Jesse responded before thinking and felt his face slam to the side as his father slapped now him hard across the other cheek.

‘What the hell was that, why are you acting like a wild child, are you crazy!’ his father barked, physically shaking Jesse in his hold.

Jesse took in some big gulps of air, knowing he was being held up by his dad who then let go, letting Jesse tumble to the floor in a heap.

‘You’re nothing but an idiot, a stupid little idiot, why do we bother!’ His dad fumed. ‘We let you have a fun weekend and how do you repay our generosity? You’re not in this house two minutes before you’re upsetting your mum, telling her a bunch of lies, and playing dumb to my face, I give up with you, Jesse, I just give up!’ His father yelled and left the room.

Jesse rolled onto his back his emotions were all over the place as he tried to fathom what was going on, how it had escalated so quickly as his face burned from both strikes, the headache fast returning. He felt confused and angry, but the only thing he was certain of was he couldn’t stay in the house, he had to get away, he had to get out. That was it now, he couldn’t stay, he wasn’t wanted here and he was convinced now that Del wanted nothing to do with him, he hadn’t even said goodbye. Jesse scrambled to his feet and just bolted, he ran down the stairs and didn’t hesitate as he opened the front door, slammed it behind him and just ran like his life depended on it.

Behind him, out of his sight the door opened and both Del and his father hurried outside, trying to see where Jesse had gone.

‘He can’t get far, let’s take my car,’ Del suggested.

* * *

They had been driving for over thirty minutes and had seen no sign of Jesse, both men were concerned for his safety as they scanned the area.

‘Maybe he turned back and headed to his Aunts,’ Adam suggested. ‘He usually runs and hides at her place.’

‘It’s worth a try,’ Del said with a frown. ‘What happened when you went up to see him?’

‘He was out of control, whatever he had said to Diane put him into some frenzied haze, he was trying to break his window like a maniac,’ Adam recalled.

‘Does he get like that often?’ Del asked.

‘When he gets worked up about something, he loses all sense,’ Adam admitted.

‘What got him so worked up?’ Del wondered.

‘Diane said she found him in a state of panic on the floor or his room before he went all psycho, telling lies and making stuff up, maybe it was something you did?’ Adam suggested.

‘Me? No, no, Jesse was perfectly calm all weekend, even when he got ill, he was good as gold, it was nothing I did I can assure you,’ Del lightly argued. ‘Maybe the stress of coming back home, with your strict regime.’

‘The stress? With respect, his home is where he belongs, don’t ever forget that,’ Adam stated firmly and Del raised his eyebrows and quickly dropped the topic. ‘Is this the place?’

‘That’s it, I best go and ask if he’s there,’ Adam spoke with some dread.

‘I take it they are close?’ Del asked, seeing Adam’s reluctance.

‘She dotes on the boy, will always defend him to the hilt,’ Adam stated. ‘Often forgets who is bringing him up, who is responsible for the brat, we come to blows often.’

‘Good luck then,’ Del simply said, as Adam got out of the car. Del watched Adam, and ran over what they had just said, Jesse was a little anxious about returning home but he was ok with it, knowing they’d be meeting up again midweek. Diane has come crying into the living room, and Adam had left Del to look after her, but now Del wished he had followed Adam up to Jesse’s room. Del knew he had to be careful about getting too involved, he didn’t want to drive a divide between Jesse and his parents, but he’d heard Adam raising his voice, and suddenly Jesse had run away. Del took a deep breath, it was all about finding Jesse first.

Adam walked up to the front door and knocked, it took a few moments before the door opened and Ginny looked surprised to see him.

‘Adam,’ she simply said.

‘Is he here?’ Adam asked abruptly.

‘Jesse?’ Ginny questioned.

‘Yes,’ Adam said with impatience.

‘No, I’ve not seen him for a few weeks, as far as I know you have the poor boy under lock and key, preventing him coming to see me, remember?’ Ginny stated pointedly.

‘So, he’s not here?’ Adam checked.

‘No, is he missing?’ Ginny now sounded concerned.

‘I’m not sure, he ran off about an hour ago, we can’t find him,’ Adam gestured.

‘Why did he run?’ Ginny questioned.

‘He was out of control, had another of his episodes, we’re not even sure what upset him this time he just ran off like a maniac,’ Adam explained.

‘Try looking in a mirror, your answer is there,’ Ginny simply stated.

‘Funny,’ Adam rolled his eyes.

‘I’m not being funny,’ Ginny said, her voice low. ‘You have pushed that boy one too many times for my liking, good on him if he’s run, he will do well getting away from your influence.’

‘Oh, is that so?’ Adam returned. ‘And you would do so much better, correct? Oh wait, you can’t.’

‘Get stuffed, Adam Pinkman, go find Jesse and do right by the boy,’ Ginny snapped.

‘Oh, I will do right by him when I get my hands on him,’ Adam growled as he turned around to return to the car.

‘You touch a hair on his head, and I swear, I will come for you, Adam!’ Ginny yelled.

Adam got back into the car and indicated for Del to drive away. ‘No luck there then,’ Del remarked, he hadn’t heard what had been said, but had seen how animated it became.

‘Who knows, that crazy bat might have had him hiding behind the door all along, she’d protect him to the hilt,’ Adam remarked.

‘So, what now?’ Del asked.

‘The kid will show up again, he always does just like a bad penny. Just take me home, I’ll let you know when he shows up again,’ Adam sighed.

‘We’re giving up?’ Del checked.

‘Do you have any suggestions where he might be?’ Adam asked.

‘You said he started hanging around the streets, do you know any likely areas?’ Del questioned.

‘Who knows, I mean I don’t think he could have got too far from our house when he escaped, we never noticed when he did get out,’ Adam shrugged.

‘I don’t know this city well enough yet to know all the hang outs, but let’s just do one more drive round in your area, maybe we’ll get lucky,’ Del suggested.

* * *

The bar was dark and the chat was loud as the sound of glasses clinking together were frequently heard, the place was a buzzing hive of activity with many bodies mingling together. Jackson pushed his way through the crowds to the back table and waited to be spotted before speaking.

‘Yo, Samson, we have activity on the steps,’ Jackson announced.

‘Who?’ Samson asked, pushing his drink to the centre of the table.

‘That kid, Jesse,’ Jackson simply said, and Samson got to his feet quickly, heading towards the exit, followed by Jackson. ‘Coyote is with him, but he doesn’t know him too well, the kid ain’t speaking to him,’ Jackson offered as Samson pushed the door open onto the street, it was still daylight but would soon be getting dark.

‘Is he hurt?’ Samson asked.

‘Don’t think so, but he’s been crying, his whole face is puffy, red and blotchy, so he might have been in another fight, I don’t know,’ Jackson offered.

Samson turned the corner and headed to the gate, that led to the steps, he nodded towards Coyote, but his eyes were soon fixed on the boy. Jesse was sitting in the doorway, leaning on the door, his knees drawn up and hugging himself.

‘Jesse? It’s me, Samson, everything ok?’ Samson ventured.

‘Don’t send me away, I’m sorry, ok?’ Jesse blubbed, his voice betraying the fact he was emotionally drained. ‘I just need to sit here for a bit, I won’t bother you.’

‘Hey, come on, everything is cool, ok?’ Samson soothed, and sat a little bit away from Jesse but close enough to be heard. ‘What’s happened?’

‘I fucked up, again,’ Jesse sniffed, then rubbed his temple. ‘My head is killing me.’

‘Do you need some paracetamol?’ Samson asked and just saw Jesse nod his head. ‘Ok, Jackson is going to get you some, ok?’ Samson turned to Jackson, who was already moving to do as Samson requested. ‘Come on, talk to your friend, Samson, what happened?’

‘I don’t know, I had a great weekend with a friend but came home and everything went crazy, I forgot to take my pills. Mom hit me, then Dad went crazy at me for upsetting mom, hit me,’ Jesse relayed before his emotions crashed again, and fresh sobs wrecked his exhausted body.

Samson instinctively moved closer and with very little encouragement, Jesse welcomed his embraced and clung to him as his sobs got more hysterical. They stayed like that for another five minutes before Jackson returned with some water and a packet of paracetamol. Samson took the items from Jackson and encouraged Jesse to sit up and take the pills.

‘I would offer you some weed, but I know the truth now,’ Samson smiled.

‘I have my own stash, it’s cool,’ Jesse simply replied.

‘Oh, do you now?’ Samson returned. ‘I hope you are not going crazy with it.’

‘I’m not an idiot,’ Jesse snapped, as he took one of the pills and downed it with some water.

‘Hey, I never said you were,’ Samson defended himself.

‘Sorry,’ Jesse sniffed, as he took the final pill with a gulp of water. ‘Everyone else thinks it,’ he sighed.

‘Let me take a look at you,’ Samson requested and took Jesse’s chin, checking his face. ‘So, you said your dad hit you, those fresh marks on your face I assume?’

‘Both he and my Mom slapped me, not really hit me,’ Jesse corrected.

‘Still hurt I bet, just the same?’ Samson offered and Jesse nodded his head. ‘Is that why your head hurts?’

‘No, I got a little drunk last night and I don’t know, took these pills and things went really bad,’ Jesse grimaced as he remembered. ‘My friend said I stopped breathing, I was choking on my own vomit or something I think.’

‘Shit, Jesse, that’s some serious bad,’ Samson returned. ‘Did you go to the hospital?’

‘No, I slept it off,’ Jesse shrugged. ‘I feel like shit though,’ Jesse added.

‘You should get some sleep, but I’m guessing you don’t want to go home?’ Samson checked.

‘My dad will kill me if I don’t,’ Jesse indicated and got shakily to his feet.

‘I’m not sure I’m happy just letting you go home, you were pretty worked up about your dad, are you sure we can’t help you more?’ Samson asked. ‘I can shout you a bed, we can go to the authorities, whatever you want, you need to feel safe, Jesse.’

‘It was my own fault,’ Jesse simply replied. 

‘It doesn’t sound like it,’ Samson returned.

‘It was, I panicked, I said some shit to my mom, I was an idiot,’ Jesse spoke, and felt his emotions rising again. ‘If I don’t go back soon he’ll definitely kill me so better to just get it over with, it’ll be fine, I’m just upset and tired, headache and aches in general,’ Jesse stressed, desperately trying to alleviate the concern he could see from Samson, Jackson and even Coyote. ‘Honestly, it’s cool, I’ll be fine.’

Jesse got to the gate and then spotted Del’s car driving down the street towards him. ‘Hey, it’s my friend, the one I mentioned, it’s ok, he will keep me safe,’ Jesse smiled back at them and darted out into the street. He stopped on seeing his dad in the passenger seat, but it was too late to do anything but continue towards the car.

‘Get in, Jesse,’ Del simply said, and Jesse didn’t argue as he got into the back seat. ‘Are those your street friends?’ Del asked, looking at the three men looking back at him.

‘Yeah, they are cool, helped get my head back on straight, sorry I ran off,’ Jesse quickly offered.

‘What are their names?’ Del asked.

‘Samson, Jackson and that other one I think is Coyote,’ Jesse answered.

‘They look like smackheads,’ Adam spoke up disapprovingly.

‘They’re cool, dad, they just helped me,’ Jesse returned but knew not to push it too much.

Del continued to look at them as he drove by, and in turn the three men stared at him as the black car took their young friend away.

‘Who are they?’ Jackson asked.

‘I don’t know who the old guy is, maybe Jesse’s dad, but the one driving, I swear that’s Del Burley and if it is, shit, our friend Jesse is in a lot of danger,’ Samsom stated with concern.


	6. Work Experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The work placement begins, and things get serious...

The building was huge, Jesse thought as he tentatively approached the large reception desk. The bright lights and the smartly dressed people walking past him just added to his anxiety and the natural overwhelming feelings he was having.

‘Can I help you?’ the smiley female asked from behind the big reception desk.

‘I’m starting a work placement today?’ Jesse stammered unsure.

‘Oh, yes, are you Jesse Pinkman?’ She cheerily said.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse answered.

‘Excellent, if you could sign in here I have an ID badge for you,’ the smiley lady instructed and Jesse did his neatest handwriting before signing the form. He took the ID and put it around his neck.

‘Ok, use the badge to go through the barrier then go to Level 5 and ask for Molly,’ the smiley lady gestured and Jesse offered a small smile and followed her directions to the elevators. He got into the first one to arrive and pressed for floor five, all the time feeling totally out of his element. When he stepped out onto floor five, another smiley lady with amazing red hair was there.

‘Jesse?’ she asked.

‘Er, yeah,’ Jesse offered.

‘Great, follow me, this is the administration floor, a lot of the business is done here,’ She explained brightly. ‘Over in that corner is accounts, behind us are the sales teams and right here is distribution, which I’m a part of and you’ve been assigned to for your placement,’ she gestured. ‘This will be your desk,’ she pulled the chair out.

‘I get a desk?’ Jesse checked.

‘Of course, you’re part of the team now,’ Molly grinned. ‘The placement scheme Mr Burley set up aims to really help young people like yourself understand the workplace, so it’s important you get to really feel a part of the action, so this is your desk.’

‘Awesome,’ Jesse sat down, and naturally started bouncing in the chair.

‘In time, and depending on your progress, you will be assigned a laptop and be giving simple data entry work but right now we need to really see how well you work in different aspects and what would really help the team right now is for the stationary cupboard to be given a bit of a clean,’ Molly stated.

‘Oh, ok,’ Jesse offered, sounded easy enough and he followed Molly to the far end of the office, where she opened a door and inside were shelves full of various stationary and it did look a mess.

‘Take some time to evaluate the space, any questions I’m just next to your desk,’ Molly smiled, and Jesse stepped into the small room and watched as Molly closed the door behind him.

‘Ok, so I’m cleaning shelves, that’s cool,’ Jesse said to himself. He wandered around the space, looking at all the items and saw it was already labelled up, it just seemed that the people who worked in this office were savages who had no clue about keeping things in order. So not wanting to waste any time, Jesse began to straighten, empty and rearrange stock to make the cupboard a lot easier to navigate.

Jesse wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but he had sensed the office was a lot quieter now so guessed it was after 6pm and the majority of people had left. He heard a light tap on the door before it opened and Molly couldn’t hide her surprise.

‘Wow, this is amazing, Jesse, seriously well done,’ Molly praised, looking at the effort Jesse had put in and seeing how tidy everything was. ‘I thought that would take you a couple of nights to finish, not a couple of hours,’ she smiled.

‘It was easy enough, just needed some attention, not a lot,’ Jesse shrugged. ‘I put all the rubbish in that corner, I hope that’s ok?’

‘Absolutely fine, I will get that cleared in the morning, thank you, Jesse, this is great work,’ Molly seemed stunned. ‘Mr Burley has asked me to take you up to see him, all new recruits get a personal welcome so it’s your turn, am I right in thinking he knows you already?’ he asked.

‘He’s a friend of my dad,’ Jesse offered.

‘Ah, ok, might explain why he kept asking if you had arrived, then if you were ok, then when you were going up to see him,’ Molly laughed.

Jesse just laughed in response but was glad she wasn’t reading too much into that. She let him pick up his bag and then put him into the elevator with instruction to go to floor 10. He gave her a small wave and then waited until the doors opened again. The floor layout was different on this floor, just a small area before a big office.

‘Hey, there he is, Jesse come through, come through!’ Del yelled, Jesse couldn’t see him only hear him as he stepped forward and entered the office. ‘Close the door,’ Del instructed when he finally came into view and Jesse did as he was asked. ‘Wow, you have really impressed Molly, she just called and said you’d done wonders to their stationary cupboard.’

‘I just tidied it up,’ Jesse dismissed.

‘Hey, you didn’t just tidy it up, you impressed Molly, that is quite an achievement, she hates kids,’ Del offered. ‘The reason I get her to initiate the young workers is because of this, she can easily tell the slackers from the prospects, so you, my friend, are now a prospect,’ Del grinned.

‘Great,’ Jesse returned feeling good.

‘It will get more interesting, you have to get through the boring reception bits of the scheme with Molly, once you clear that you’ll be with me, learning better stuff, not just how to tidy stationary,’ Del offered.

‘Oh ok, that’s good,’ Jesse brightened.

‘So, how are things at home after the weekend?’ Del asked.

Jesse just shrugged. ‘Same as ever, locked in my room, not allowed to do anything but study.’

‘You still taking those pills?’ Del checked.

‘Yeah, Dad said it was just unlucky what happened, probably just the alcohol, not the pills,’ Jesse relayed.

‘Bullshit,’ Del snapped.

‘I don’t know man, I’ve never had alcohol before, he may have a point, you gave me a lot,’ Jesse suggested.

‘How are you feeling,’ Del asked, and came closer, he checked Jesse’s face. ‘Your cheek is still bruised.’

‘Yeah, Mom put make-up on it so school wouldn’t ask questions,’ Jesse put his hand up to it and began to rub, and Del saw it was still a hefty bruise.

‘I’m so sorry, if I’d of known he’d do that I would have stopped him,’ Del frowned.

‘It’s what he does,’ Jesse shrugged and then rubbed his temple on the other side. ‘I got that for running away, and for him mistakenly alerting Aunt Ginny to the fact I was missing. Seems she was trying to see me, causing issues for my parents, I made a big mess of things,’ Jesse sighed. ‘He nearly stopped me coming here today,’ Jesse stated.

‘I admit I was half expecting you to be a no-show,’ Del offered casually putting his arm around Jesse’s shoulders. ‘I maybe called Molly one too many times asking if you were here yet,’ Del admitted with a grin.

‘She said,’ Jesse teased.

‘Oh shit, our secret is out,’ Del mocked. ‘Those people we found you with on Sunday,’ Del then ventured. ‘Samson, wasn’t it?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse agreed.

‘Were they the ones who freaked out when they found out your age?’ Del asked.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse nodded.

‘Why?’ Del asked.

Jesse hesitated, unsure why Del was asking the questions he was. ‘Because I told them I was eighteen, and I wasn’t?’

‘Yeah, but why did they freak out about it, there must have been a reason?’ Del pushed. ‘I didn’t see a female with them, you said you had sex for the first time whilst with them, right?’

‘Why are you asking?’ Jesse checked.

‘Ah, and you said you tried dope for the first time, was that it? Is that what freaked them out?’ Del asked.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Jesse stated and looked at his hands, as he grinded them together.

‘Of course it doesn’t, I was just curious, what with your dad being so concerned when you started hanging around with them, they seem much older than you so he was right to worry,’ Del stated rubbing Jesse’s shoulder..

‘But its ok with you?’ Jesse pointed out, and shrugged out of Del’s hold putting some space between them.

‘Have I upset you?’ Del checked.

‘Just, I don’t know why you’re asking about them like this, like they are bad, they are good people, they look after me,’ Jesse shrugged. ‘I don’t want to not see them again, or something if that’s where you’re going, you can’t tell me who I can and can’t see, I don’t need another dad.’

‘Hey, it’s not like that, I was just curious, I want to know about you, every aspect and if these people are important to you, they are important to me, does that make sense?’ Del offered.

‘I guess,’ Jesse admitted.

‘You just have to take care, that’s all,’ Del sat next to Jesse. ‘Your father is entrusting me to take care of your own curiosity when it comes to the things those friends introduced you to,’ Del put his arm around Jesse’s shoulders again. ‘I want to help you learn about yourself, and so understanding the people you are attracted to, personality and other, it’s a part of what I need to know in order to help you grow.’

Jesse felt Del’s hand massaging his shoulder, it felt nice but he was all too aware of where they were and he didn’t feel comfortable, he jumped when Del leaned in and breathed on his neck.

‘Hey, is there a problem?’ Del checked.

‘This is your workplace, your office, yo,’ Jesse explained frantically.

‘No one else is around, we have the floor to ourselves, it’s after hours,’ Del gestured.

‘Isn’t there security and shit?’ Jesse asked.

‘I know the blind spots, this is a blind spot,’ Del smiled.

‘It feels very open, like anyone could catch us,’ Jesse feared looking genuinely concerned.

‘Ok, I tell you what, lets take a look at your homework, put our heads into that?’ Del suggested.

‘Yeah, ok,’ Jesse agreed rapidly and moved quickly to the big conference table.

* * *

Jesse closed the text book and looked again at the paper in front of him, for the first time in ages it had more writing than crossing out and he was grinning with the achievement.

‘So, what years did the civil war take place?’ Del asked, as he snatched the paper away from Jesse to check it.

‘Er,’ Jesse paused. ‘1861 to 1865,’ Jesse remembered.

‘Very good,’ Del offered. ‘And the last battle?’

‘Palmito Ranch?’ Jesse suggested.

‘Top marks, who said you were an idiot?’ Del questioned.

Jesse sighed. ‘Don’t know how this stuff helps with my future,’ he then offered.

‘Being ignorant is not cool, Jesse, this is stuff you should just know as an American,’ Del argued. ‘Truth is a lot of what you learn now won’t directly help you in your future, but it gives you grounding, ok?’

‘I guess,’ Jesse sighed as he took his papers back and started to pack his things away. ‘Thanks for helping, you didn’t have to actually sit there and help me do my homework.’

‘It’s exactly what I needed to do, Jesse, I want you to succeed and it’s clear all you need is just someone giving you that extra push,’ Del offered. ‘The questions you asked, the parts where you got confused were not because you are stupid but because you are inquisitive, I’m guessing people don’t normally have the time or chance to sit with you and go through this stuff at a pace that suits you, correct?’

‘Not really,’ Jesse agreed. ‘Actually that makes some sense, a few weeks back I was late to a chemistry class, my dad was with the principle and then dragged me into class in front of everyone,’ Jesse recalled. ‘I think Mr White took some pity on me because he told me what parts of the text to read to get the answers to the test he had set, just helped not having to second guess.’

‘That’s what I’m saying, some people just need that little bit more tuition,’ Del smiled. ‘It’s not a bad thing,’ Del moved behind Jesse and put his hands on his shoulders. ‘You are smart Jesse, you know your own mind so stop beating yourself up.’

Jesse frowned. ‘ don’t have to beat myself up when my dad does it for me,’ Jesse stood up, shaking Del’s hold off him again.

‘Hey,’ Del took hold of Jesse again and spun him around to face him. ‘Your dad won’t hit you again, ok? He told me he won’t lay another finger on you.’

Jesse just smirked. ‘He’s told me many times he’ll stop, newsflash, he lies.’

‘Go freshen up, the bathroom is just through that door,’ Del ordered.

Jesse dropped his bag and wandered over to the bathroom, he pushed the door and couldn’t believe how big and cool the bathroom was. The décor was all black tiles, like a hotel, Jesse considered as he walked to the basin and ran some water, splashing his face. The door opened and Del walked in, causing Jesse to look at him through the mirror.

‘You know there is a lock on this door, Jesse,’ Del pointed out.

‘I’m just washing my face,’ Jesse explained but saw Del locked the door behind him.

‘There absolutely no security in here,’ Del motioned.

Jesse just smirked, and didn’t move from the basin as he leaned on his hands now.

‘So, tell me, when are you sixteen?’ Del asked as he moved to the urinal, and casually began to relieve himself.

‘September 24th,’ Jesse answered.

‘Just over three months away?’ Del checked.

‘Yeah, pretty much,’ Jesse agreed.

Del finished up and moved behind Jesse, reaching his hands around him to wash his hands, getting very close as Jesse looked down to see him running his hands under the water. ‘Ok, so how do you want to play this, we’ve had some fun and you seemed to enjoy it and we didn’t do anything you were not happy for me to do to you, correct?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse answered, his eyes fixed on Del’s hands still running under the water in front of him.

‘We can wait till the 24th September when you become legal in this state,’ Del stated. ‘We do the placement, we strictly only have above board fun with go-karts, video games, pizza, shopping,’ Del explained. ‘Or, we don’t wait, it’s your choice.’

‘What difference does three months make?’ Jesse asked.

‘The difference is what we doing being legal or not,’ Del rested his chin on Jesse’s shoulder, as he moved his hands to rest either side of Jesse’s hands.

‘I’m not a stupid kid, I can handle it, yo,’ Jesse simply said, closing his eyes to the anticipation of what Del might be about to do.

‘Are you saying you are happy for me to keep touching you, to make you happy?’ Del asked, as his mouth began to kiss the base of Jesse’s neck.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse agreed.

‘Tell me you want it,’ Del asked, his face buried now into Jesse’s neck.

Jesse was breathing a little quicker. ‘I want it.’

‘Then why wait?’ Del’s hands came up and grabbed Jesse’s chest.

‘Hey, you’re hands are still wet,’ Jesse complained lightly, then felt Del wiping them on his shirt. ‘Bastard,’ he returned as Del worked his shirt up and began to stroke Jesse’s chest and ribs, then his stomach before returning to his nipples, that he started to pinch.

‘Are you sure you can handle this?’ Del purred into his ear.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse said, feeling sharp pains from Del’s touch, as he tortured his nipples roughly but he loved it, it was having an effect on him.

Del lifted Jesse’s shirt and Jesse didn’t need to be told to lift his arms and he was pushed back towards the basin, where Del began to massage his back and Jesse found his breathing was getting rapid again without explanation. He was loving the touches Del was making, and it was having a desired effect on his cock as it started to stir. Del gently rubbed Jesse’s back, then run his hands around to Jesse’s chest again, and he started to feel the light scratches of Del’s nails, that were sending his senses wild. Del returned to his back, getting rougher with the scratches, and Jesse was now bucking.

‘Shit man,’ Jesse gasped, knowing he was rock hard but not understanding how that could be with what Del was doing to him.

‘You are very responsive to touch,’ Del was grinning, as he continued to rub Jesse’s skin raw. ‘Do you like people touching you normally?’

‘No, I hate being touched, normally,’ Jesse panted.

‘I’m not surprised, you’re about to explode,’ Del laughed as he finally rubbed a hand over Jesse’s bulge.

‘No shit, fuck me,’ Jesse gasped.

‘Is that a request or a comment?’ Del checked.

‘Please, just do something,’ Jesse begged as he bent his elbows and let his head drop almost into the basin.

‘You really are a treat,’ Del remarked, as he undid the button on Jesse’s pants and they easily fell to his ankles. His hand then reached into Jesse’s boxers and began to softly tug his dick. ‘Hey, you’re wearing the boxers you modelled the other night,’ Del then realised.

‘They’re clean, Mom washed them on Monday, I thought I’d put them on today,’ Jesse managed to inform.

‘You put these on this morning, were you thinking of me?’ Del asked, as he continued to manipulate Jesse’s cock, resting his chin on his shoulder again so he was close to his ear.

‘I guess, I knew I’d see you today with this placement,’ Jesse answered between heavy breaths.

‘So your saw these boxers, put them on, thinking of me and meeting me this evening?’ Del checked. ‘That’s so fucking hot,’ Del then remarked as he started to increase the speed.

‘Not as hot as this, fuck,’ Jesse panted, he was so close and loving every moment.

Del removed his hand causing Jesse to cry out in frustration, before he felt himself being pulled back as Del lowered him down onto the floor into his lap. Del’s back now rested against the wall and he returned his hand to Jesse’s dick, and Jesse was almost paralysed as he leaned back against Del and melted into his hold, feeling Del’s other hand continue to explore his chest, pinching his nipples.

After what seemed forever Jesse finally felt himself cum, and it was a moment of pure bliss as he shuddered in the aftermath, spasms continued for a moment before he finally relaxed and recovered his breath.

‘Jesse?’

‘Mmm,’ Jesse could only managed.

‘I don’t have any lube but I really want to go inside you, can I?’ Del asked.

Jesse felt like he couldn’t deny the man who had just sent him wild, so didn’t hesitate to agree and all too quick he felt fingers at his entrance, roughly entering him and he tried to ignore the sharp pain, not wanting Del to think he wasn’t able to cope. He squirmed as the fingers stretched him rapidly, and he sensed Del was in urgent need so just closed his eyes and rode the waves of pain he was feeling.

‘Are you ok?’ Del checked.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse croaked, thankful that Del couldn’t see his face, see the tears he wasn’t able to stop.

‘Ok, let’s do this,’ Del said with excitement and Jesse braced himself as he felt the head of Del’s cock at his entrance. Del brought his fingers to Jesse’s mouth and forced his to lick them, sticking them into his mouth and then returned his now wet fingers to Jesse’s hole as a token lubricant before he pushed the head in and Jesse grimaced, he wanted to say stop but didn’t dare, not now, not after Del had asked at every turn if he was ok with this, he was an adult, not a kid, Jesse kept thinking as the pain increased.

Del continued to say soothing things, and was stroking Jesse’s bare skin with his hands as his cock delved deeper until finally the resistance was gone, and he was completely in. Del paused, giving Jesse time to get use to the feeling before he slowly started to move, and Jesse slumped against Del as he began to pick up the pace, feeling Del take hold of his over sensitive dick again and he almost blacked out as Del took complete control.

In a blur Jesse felt a release inside him and felt himself cum a few moments later as Del collapsed beneath him. After a couple of minutes Del encouraged Jesse to get off him, and got him to lay next to him on the floor and they held each other for a moment.

‘Are you ok?’ Del checked, as Jesse hid his face in Del’s still clothed chest. ‘Hey Jesse, look at me,’ Del said with sudden concern.

‘I’m ok,’ Jesse murmured.

‘Let me see you,’ Del requested. Jesse lifted his head and his tear stained, reddened eyes came into full view. ‘Did I hurt you, Jesse, tell me?’

‘It was fine, honest,’ Jesse sniffed.

‘Shit no, Jesse,’ Del stressed as he took hold of Jesse’s face. ‘You should have told me to stop, fuck, Jesse, don’t think you have to do anything I ask, shit, look at you,’ Del fussed.

‘I’m fine,’ Jesse insisted. ‘It only hurt at the start,’ he added.

‘I’m sorry,’ Del brought Jesse in for a hug, and held him tight. ‘We will be better prepared from now on, I promise.’

‘Ok,’ Jesse responded.

‘Are you ok to move?’ Del asked.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse pushed himself up as Del got to his feet and got Jesse a wet towel to clean himself up, once done Jesse pulled his boxers and Jeans up, and got to his feet.

‘Here’s your shirt, now dry,’ Del grinned and helped Jesse put it on before grabbing his face again. ‘Are you sure you’re ok?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse smiled.

‘Absolutely sure?’ Del asked.

‘I don’t need you to kiss it better if that’s what you mean,’ Jesse mocked.

‘How about just a kiss then?’ Del checked.

Jesse moved forward and brought his lips to Del’s and they kissed with a softness that Jesse appreciated, after they had explored each other’s mouths Jesse pulled away. ‘You should probably get me home, it’s a school night,’ Jesse motioned.

‘Stop being so sensible,’ Del teased, and opened the door for Jesse. ‘Let’s go.’

Jesse straightened his shirt and walked through the door that Del had opened for him, it hurt to move but he knew it was just temporary, but he wasn’t looking forward to sitting down in the car. As he thought about it more Jesse realised he had enjoyed every minute of what they had just done, no regrets and the thing at the sink would now be his favourite fantasy.

* * *

Over the course of the following month Jesse easily fell into the new routine of splitting his time between the strict regime of his parents, school and having fun at Dels. Having Del to go to helped Jesse cope a lot better with the situation at home where he was still confined to his room to study, and with his overall mood lifting he finally started to see his school work improving enough that everybody got off his case, apart from Mr White, who seemed determined to fail Jesse. People had also noticed the more high end clothes Jesse was now wearing, more labels, more street as he found his style and look that made him feel more like he wanted to be rather than how his parents tried to make him.

Jesse felt a new confidence within himself as well, no longer being bothered by the playground politics, he was comfortable in his own skin and didn’t try to get acceptance from his peers, he made a new friend, a guy called Badger who was so low maintenance but provided Jesse with someone to talk to on school breaks about stuff that was ridiculous that it was fun. Badger also smoked and dabbled in weed, which meant Jesse had a partner in crime and an instant friend as he always had a supply on him thanks to Del. It also helped that Badger didn’t live too far from him, and provided a bigger, taller boy to walk with, stopping all bullies in their tracks, he looked out for Jesse and Jesse appreciated it and he never asked questions, ever. 

They were enjoying a cigarette a short distance from the school gates when Jesse saw the familiar black car pull up. ‘Hey, this is my ride,’ Jesse stated.

‘Such a cool car,’ Badger admired.

‘I’ll see you Monday, yeah? Walk to school?’ Jesse checked.

‘Sure thing, Jesse,’ Badger agreed. ‘Have fun, so jealous you get to play the new Call of Duty this weekend, man, you have to tell me about it on Monday!’

‘Will do, and hey,’ Jesse dug into his pocket and took out an unopened packet of cigarettes and threw them to Badger. ‘Enjoy!’ he smiled.

‘Sweet!’ Badger enthused.

Jesse watched for a moment seeing how happy Badger was with the gift he had given him, and then he saw another car pulling up, and Mr White looking at him.

‘Hey Mr White,’ Jesse offered.

‘Pinkman, do you have a minute?’ Mr White asked, as he parked up behind the black car.

‘Sure,’ Jesse wandered to the car, and stood by the driver’s window. ‘What’s up?’

‘I really do not want to fail you, Jesse, but whilst your efforts have improved, I’m still concerned,’ Mr White relayed.

‘I’m really trying, honestly,’ Jesse responded.

‘I can see that but is there more we can do? Do you want some extra tutoring?’ Mr White offered.

Jesse frowned and sighed. ‘I just don’t think chemistry is for me, Mr White, and I have this work placement thing so I’m not sure my parents will be cool with me spending anymore time out of the house.’

‘Even if it could mean the difference between a pass and a fail?’ Mr White asked.

‘I’ll talk to them, over the weekend, let you know next week?’ Jesse offered.

‘Good, yes, let me know,’ Mr White said, his eyes now on the black car in front. ‘Your dad’s friend picking you up again?’

‘Er, yeah,’ Jesse nodded his head. ‘He’s got some smarts, helping me with my studies.’

‘I see,’ Mr White remarked. ‘Well you best be going, enjoy your weekend, Jesse,’ Mr White offered.

Jesse saw that as he cue to return to the black car and he quickly jumped in and it soon pulled away as Jesse put his seatbelt on. ‘Hey Del, how’s things?’

‘Things are good, how was school?’

‘I got 8/10 on the maths test, teacher was crazy happy with me,’ Jesse smiled.

‘Good work!’ Del congratulated. ‘That extra time we spent on Wednesday night paid off then?’ Del added.

‘You so made it make sense, yo, I never saw it the right way till you pointed it all out, thank you,’ Jesse said with appreciation.

‘Who was that old guy?’ Del asked, checking his mirror and Jesse realised Mr White’s car was still behind them in the traffic.

‘My chemistry teacher, pretty much telling me he’s going to fail me I think,’ Jesse shrugged. ‘I don’t care that much, not like chemistry will ever be useful to me, right?’ Jesse grinned.

‘Depends what sort of chemistry,’ Del smiled. ‘A knowledge of chemistry can make you a lot of money on the black market.’

‘Ha, never thought of that,’ Jesse realised what Del was suggesting. ‘I doubt old man White would ever teach me that type of chemistry, can you imagine?’

‘Maybe not the thoughts I should be putting into your head,’ Del grinned. ‘Don’t every mention that career prospect to your dad or teachers,’ he laughed.

‘Can we do stuff this weekend?’ Jesse asked, swiftly changing the subject.

‘Sure, what do you have in mind?’ Del asked.

‘Well we didn’t do anything on Wednesday night because of my homework kept us up, and last weekend you were busy with those calls, and I had that geography project I had to finish, so I dunno, just wondered, something more fun?’ Jesse motioned.

‘I thought you’d be all over that new game I got waiting for you in the apartment, the Call of Duty one?’ Del offered.

‘Yeah, I want to play that but,’ Jesse looked out of the window, suddenly feeling embarrassed, he didn’t want to have to say what he really wanted out loud.

‘Well I’ve had a week from hell, that is not going to get any better next week when my right-hand man shows up,’ Del revealed. ‘Which reminds me, I’m likely going to have to rain check next Wednesday night, you can come to the office after school but with Franko in town I just don’t want you to have to deal with him, he’s a nightmare,’ Del explained.

‘Oh,’ Jesse suddenly felt like there was something wrong, so decided to keep quiet thinking he was becoming a problem.

‘I’ll make it up to you next weekend, I promise,’ Del said sensing Jesse’s mood switch. ‘Hey, how’s things with your mom, any better?’

Jesse noted the change of subject, but it was hardly to a better topic. His mom had been acting really strangely around him since he started this thing with Del, he sensed the tension between his parents and knew he was at the root of it. She seemed disappointed in him, as well as his father but she wouldn’t say anything, and Del’s name was not to be mentioned in the house at all. Seems his mother didn’t like him, even though she didn’t even know the guy.

Jesse just shrugged. ‘Still doesn’t talk to me, it’s not like she’s mad at me, just like she has nothing to say to me so doesn’t,’ Jesse explained and noticed the car was pulling into the local outlet mall.

‘I just need to pick up some bits, a new suit and some shirts for when Franko’s in town, got to keep my image up,’ Del explained and got out the car, Jesse followed but he was troubled by what he only saw as Del being distracted, was he bored of him? He was worried that he’d done something wrong, or maybe hadn’t shown enough interest, he wasn’t sure.

Jesse followed Del around a couple of the stores before opting to wait outside when Del entered the store that only sold suits, he had no interest in that one and it wasn’t as if Del was after his opinion. Feeling down he sat on the bench and waited, only to be joined by another person moments after he sat down.

‘What the hell are you doing hanging around with that guy?’

Jesse snapped his attention to the person next to him. ‘Samson? What are you doing here?’

‘I was just passing through, saw you and then saw your company, man, what the hell, is he hurting you?’ Samson asked with concern.

‘What, no,’ Jesse answered. ‘Who?’

‘Del Burley, that’s him in that store, right? He was walking with you, I saw you get out of his car, Jesse, tell me the truth what’s going on?’ Samson hurriedly asked. ‘He was the guy who picked you up that night, when we last saw you and you were upset about your dad?’

‘He’s just a friend of my dad’s, my parents are out so I’m hanging out with him for a few hours, like my babysitter,’ Jesse lied, using their cover story if anyone ever asked.

‘Ok, I want to believe you,’ Samson didn’t seem happy. ‘Just be careful around him, there’s enough rumours flying around about that guy, he likes to get into the pants of kids if you catch my drift, and you fit the profile.’

‘Fuck off,’ Jesse dismissed.

‘Jesse, is he touching you?’ Samson asked. ‘I’m serious.’

‘Leave me alone, the only people who have touched me who shouldn’t have were your friends,’ Jesse spat back and saw the hurt expression on his friend’s face, instantly regretting his words. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that, seriously, things are cool with me and Del.’

‘My friends are deeply sorry, understand that, they were horrified when they found out, but you did lie to us,’ Samson pointed out. ‘But as adults, we should have been more responsible and vigilant, should have protected you and always understand I want to protect you, so if you ever feel you need protecting, you know where to find me, right?’

‘The steps,’ Jesse replied. ‘And I will, I promise, if I ever find myself in a situation that I can’t handle yo, or don’t want to be in,’ Jesse assured him.

‘My advice? Try and stay away from that dick,’ Samson gestured to Del, who they could see was now at the till paying for his goods. ‘Stay safe, Jesse.’

Jesse watched Samson walk away, and his words stayed with him. He already knew what he and Del had been doing was wrong, only the help he’d been giving with school work and teaching him about business was borderline ok but Del had been inviting him to stay over at his apartment, plying him with gifts, money, booze and drugs, and then the big no, no, the amazing sex. Jesse for the first time felt sick to the stomach, Samson had issued a little bit of a wake-up call to add to his growing doubts with Del seeming to be distant or distracted in the past week. 

Part of him wondered if he should just forget this weekend and go home, but then the thought of how cold home was, with his mum acting strange didn’t fill him with any sort of hope either. He could go to his aunts, he hadn’t seen her in ages and missed her, he needed to make more of an effort he realised, but he wasn’t sure he could just impose on her like that. He always had the option of going to the steps, to see Samson and the gang, so he decided that if things continued to be uneasy with Del that night, then first thing tomorrow he’d slip out and go to the steps, they’d know what to do.

‘Hey, you ready or you want to continue your daydream?’ Del teased, looking a bit brighter.

Jesse got to his feet, trying to dismiss all previous thoughts, as he got into step with Del.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So will Jesse remember that this is why Walt got him excited in the bathroom... hmmm... ;)


	7. A big Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go bad when Crystal Meth is introduced...

Del handed Jesse the joint and smiled as he the younger man eagerly took it and savoured it like the very first time, he smiled on seeing Jesse’s face light up with the hit.

‘So, is it a good game?’ Del asked gesturing to the TV, whilst closing his laptop as a signal he was now done with work, he had had a report to check and send back that had taken the last couple of hours to finish, leaving Jesse to play the new Call of Duty game he had got him.

‘Yeah, it’s good,’ Jesse answered.

‘But?’

‘I don’t know, my heart isn’t really in it right now,’ Jesse admitted and killed the game, sitting back and taking back the joint to take another hit.

‘You seem a little off tonight, something up? Something I’ve said?’ Del asked.

‘You’ve seemed a little distant since you picked me up,’ Jesse admitted.

‘Oh my god, I’m sorry, just this report and with Franko coming to town next week I guess I just let that get on top of me,’ Del offered and he moved over to sit next to Jesse, putting his arm around him. ‘I’m sorry,’ he held him close and Jesse immediately felt his mood lift a little.

‘I was also bummed out by a friend I saw at the outlet mall,’ Jesse admitted.

‘Today?’

‘Yeah when you picked up your suit, he warned me about you, how you put your hands in kid’s pants,’ Jesse smirked. ‘I wanted to tell him I enjoy it, but I didn’t, so don’t worry, told him the cover story as discussed.’

‘He told you that about me, who was it, someone I know?’ Del asked casually.

‘Don’t think so,’ Jesse shrugged and snuggled closer to Del. ‘Just some guy I know from the streets, you know the types that got my dad freaked,’ Jesse stated.

‘That Samson guy you’ve talked about before, was that his name?’ Del asked.

‘Yeah, that was him, do you know him?’ Jesse asked.

‘Not really, no, but I’ve heard about him, don’t worry about him,’ Del kissed the top of Jesse’s head affectionately. ‘He’s just a social warrior who keeps wanting to interfere because he has nothing better to do,’ he stated.

‘Yeah, I think I’m on his protection radar, but I think I convinced him everything is cool,’ Jesse stated then glanced up to see Del was on his phone. ‘Who’re you calling?’

‘Oh, sorry, I’m going to lock this away, just had to answer a text message,’ Del got up and kept typing and then made a grand gesture of putting the phone away into a drawer and walking back to sit with Jesse. ‘I am all yours, what do you want to do?’

‘Am I mature enough to try that crystal yet?’ Jesse asked, like he always asked.

‘I don’t know, you’ve been sulking like a kid a bit tonight,’ Del teased, and Jesse was about to whine until he realised that would be very childish of him, so instead he hesitantly leaned towards Del, and initiated a kiss, that Del hungrily accepted. ‘Well, I guess I can take a guess at what else you might want to do, feeling a bit starved of love, Jesse?’

Jesse moved to position himself so that he straddled Del’s hips. ‘We’ve not done it for over a week, I’m ready to explode,’ Jesse smiled, and kissed him again.

‘Whoa, there cowboy,’ Del teased but made no effort to stop Jesse attacking him with his lips, as he kissed his face and neck. ‘Seriously, Jesse, calm down, let’s do this with less franticness, I’m an old man and had a tough week, I can’t be rushing things.’ Del lifted the edges of Jesse’s t-shirt up and pushed the shirt over Jesse’s head, and allowed his hands to explore Jesse’s young, toned chest. ‘Put your arms around my neck,’ Del instructed and then with unknown strength he stood up, managing to carry Jesse who now clung to him close.

They reached the bedroom and Del dropped Jesse on the bed. ‘Can we use the restraints again?’ Jesse then asked eagerly, already lifting his arms up to show willingness.

‘You sure?’ Del checked.

‘Please,’ Jesse smiled.

‘Have you taken your vitamins today?’ Del idly asked.

Jesse frowned. ‘No, I didn’t think you liked me taking them when I was with you,’ Jesse explained.

‘Good,’ Del stated and moved to the bathroom.

‘So, are you going to restrain me or what, yo?’ Jesse asked, pretending to be cool.

‘If I restrain you how can I offer you the crystal?’ Del asked, as he returned from the bathroom.

Jesse immediately sat up. ‘What? For real?’

‘I really need a hit after the week I’ve had, and I’m not sure I’ll be in any sort of control to stop you taking one too, so just don’t be a dick with it, ok? Seriously, this stuff is dangerous, you have to understand you can’t lose control with it,’ Del warned and he brought out the blowpipe.

Jesse was immediately fascinated as he watched Del prepare the pipe, they were both now sat on the bed. ‘Ok so you heat it up here, and then inhale the smoke from here,’ Del demonstrated with ease.

With shaking hands Jesse took the pipe and the lighter, copying what Del had done and as he inhaled the first lot of smoke Jesse felt his brain short circuit, he wasn’t sure he liked it as he took another dose to really appreciate it. It was as if he could sense the danger, he immediately knew this was more potent, stronger than the weed, he was unable to really move for a long while as his focus came and went in waves. He felt the pipe being taken away from him, and he sat there numbly until he felt lips on his own, realising Del was exploring his mouth and his feelings were heightened with the touch, and he moaned into the kiss.

Every touch and grope felt electrified as his brain still processed the drug that was consuming it still, Jesse was finding it hard to focus on what was happening in reality but soon became aware of his dick being pumped, and then time seemed to blur and melt until to his surprise what felt like just moments later his mouth was being forced opened, and he was very aware suddenly that Del’s cock was inside it. He instinctively began to suck it in earnest, going through the motions and he felt Dels’ hands on his head, encouraging the movements strongly. Jesse was gagging as he struggled to breath, then the panic set in, he used his hands to pushed away from Del, but he was being held in place as his mouth was fucked. Gagging and panicking Jesse, started to hit Del as hard as he could and then he could finally breath, he coughed and took needed deep breaths, doubling up on the bed in agony unable to catch his breath. He felt himself being lifted to a sitting position and initially fought back, but he felt his arms being lifted to open his airways and something inside of him realised Del was helping him now, but he couldn’t make any sense or hear anything as his head swam.

‘Jesse, can you hear me?’ Del’s panicked voice finally broke through the haze.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse slurred finally as he began to slowly breath normally again.

‘Open your eyes, dude, look at me,’ Del instructed slightly slurring his words, he himself appeared a little drunk but he was coherent, if panicked.

Jesse opened his eyes, he felt weak and a little disorientated.

‘Shit, I shouldn’t have let you take the meth, we shouldn’t have done the meth, I’m such a fucking idiot,’ Del panicked, and brought Jesse close. ‘I’m sorry, ok, I’m so sorry, I lost control, I put you in danger, I’m sorry.’

‘I’m ok,’ Jesse mumbled.

Del moved Jesse back so he could look at him, he checked his jaw and mouth and then his co-ordination, happy to find Jesse’s eyes could follow his finger. ‘You scared me there, once I realised what I was doing, shit, you scared me, I scared me, I should know better after last time, I’m so sorry,’ Del babbled.

‘What happened last time?’ Jesse asked, still a little confused.

‘Don’t ask, bad times, I thought I’d gone past that,’ Del rubbed his face. ‘Oh god, I just attacked you, I fucked your mouth like you were nothing.’

Jesse rubbed his jaw, feeling how sore it was now and wondering how long the attack has been going on. ‘I was only vaguely aware,’ Jesse admitted. ‘That stuff is strong shit,’ he remarked as he rubbed a numbing pain in his head

‘I’m going to lock it away, we won’t touch that again for a long while, if ever again,’ Del confirmed sounding freaked out. ‘If you want to leave, to go home, I’ll understand ok?’ Del said, his senses sharply returning now.

‘I’m ok,’ Jesse repeated tiredly, but sensed Del was on edge so pushed himself up on his elbows. He noticed his jeans were still open, vaguely remembering his dick being played with so he removed the jeans completely, so he was naked, he didn’t want Del to be worried about him. Slowly he moved closer to Del’s side and put his arms around him, and when Del didn’t object he moved his hand to Del’s dick, lightly pumping it.

‘Jesse, you don’t have to,’ Del protested softly, looking guilt ridden.

‘I want to,’ Jesse stated.

‘I could have hurt you,’ Del stated still traumatised.

‘You didn’t,’ Jesse insisted. ‘I like how the drug is making me feel right now, that’s good shit,’ Jesse smiled calmly but clearly high.

‘You take to it better than I do,’ Del remarked and visibly relaxed, letting the panic be quelled by the drug still inside him.

‘I need this,’ Jesse then said and Del narrowed his eyes.

‘You need this?’ Del questioned.

‘I need you,’ Jesse half smiled, his eyes glazed. ‘Let me finish what I started,’ he then crawled down and before Del could stop him, Jesse began to suck on his cock again.

‘Oh god,’ Del exclaimed, he felt extra sensitive now and on edge as Jesse worked his way up and down his shaft, taking more in each time. ‘Who taught you this?’ but Jesse was too preoccupied to answer, and Del began to lose all sense of control as he gripped the bed sheets and came hard. When his senses returned, he looked at Jesse with concern, and some admiration, seeing Jesse wiping his mouth and taking deep breaths. ‘Are you ok?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse said between breaths. ‘First time I’ve done that,’ he looked bewildered for a moment.

‘Fucking hell you’re a natural,’ Del smiled, feeling drained. ‘Come on then, get into position,’ Del simply said and Jesse immediately lay down, putting his arms above his head as Del proceeded to secure him. Once done Del went to the box under the bed and pulled out a blindfold. ‘Going to add a new addition tonight,’ Del then announced. ‘You need to tell me if you don’t like this but give it a try,’ Del stated and when Jesse didn’t object, he placed it around his eyes. ‘Can you see how many fingers I’m holding up?’

‘I can’t see fuck, yo,’ Jesse replied, his breathing already more rapid with anticipation, as Del began to brush his skin, from his arm pits, to his chest, stomach and then his groin in agonising teasing.

* * *

Jesse was a mess. A heavy sheen covered his body, and he was physically exhausted as Del gently cleaned him up after what felt like hours of playful torture. He was still blindfolded, and tied to the bed, but he had a fixed grin on his face as he recovered his senses and tried not to fall asleep. He could sense Del moving around the room, he seemed to be enjoying knowing Jesse couldn’t see what he was doing, unable to move but the mood changed in an instant when there was a loud banging on the front door.

‘Who’s that?’ Jesse panicked.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll go see,’ Del said but his voice sounded concerned.

Jesse knew it was useless, but he tested the restraints, he was worried to be so vulnerable and sobered up quick, not being able to see didn’t help matters. He then heard Del raise his voice, he sounded angry but he couldn’t make out who he was talking to, and then he heard the crash of a door being kicked, then slammed against the wall, there was the sounds of a scuffle and Jesse began to panic, pulling at the restraints but finding no give.

Del and another man were shouting, it seemed to be in another language. There was a lot of anger, things were crashing, sounds of things being thrown or knocked over and then to Jesse’s horror the bedroom door opened and whoever had come to the apartment was now in the room.

‘No, no, Franko, no, don’t hurt him, please don’t,’ Del pleaded now, there was more yelling in a foreign language and then he heard what sounded like a fight. Jesse was trying to hide, fighting the restraints in fear as tears fell down his face in fear, the noise had been manic and then suddenly it went quiet with the sound of a thud.

‘Fucking loser,’ the stranger spoke with a heavy accent.

Jesse dared not move now, and froze further when he felt rough hands on his wrists, undoing the restraints but instead of freeing him, the stranger brought both hands behind his back, he tried to fight it but it was in vain as he felt a cable tie going around them to secure his arms behind his back. The same happened to his ankles and then a gag was put around his mouth.

‘You be quiet, boy, you make no sound,’ the stranger hissed.

Jesse did as he asked, feeling a light blanket being put around him and then he was lifted up over a shoulder, his whole body covered by the blanket in the man’s hold. Jesse’s awareness wasn’t great with the blindfold, but he immediately knew the minute they left the apartment, and he tried to struggle again but he was easily contained. He could tell they walked into the elevator and then when they entered the parking garage, he heard the sound of a trunk being opened and then he was pretty much dumped inside without ceremony and he groaned on impact, hearing the trunk slam shut above him. He heard voices, the stranger was talking to another guy who he assumed started up the car, driving away from Del’s apartment and into the night.

* * *

The car had been stopped for a while and Jesse shivered in the cramped space of the trunk, unable to move with his wrists and ankles still secured with zip ties that had started to dig into his skin. His breathing became shallow as panic set in, and Jesse’s mind began to run riot feeling his life was in real danger but being in no position to do anything. He quietly began to sob with despair, lightly banging his head with frustration. He was thirsty, hungry, cold and tired but too scared to sleep, feeling tense and afraid.

Suddenly he heard a car door open, and then footsteps before the trunk swung up and Jesse sensed a flashlight from behind his blindfold and still squinted against it. The thin blanket covering him was moved from his skin, but Jesse was unable to see how exposed it left him so tried not to think about it too much.

‘Shit, didn’t realise you only had that thin blanket, kid,’ a voice spoke up. The man then seemed to be checking the rest of the trunk and Jesse found himself covered by second, more heavy blanket, immediately feeling the warmth. Jesse in his delirium wanted to thank the stranger, but his mouth still had a painful gag across it, making it impossible to form coherent words.

He heard another vehicle pull up, the engine was loud as it approached and appeared attached to a much bigger vehicle. With the trunk still up Jesse was able to hear the exchange that only seemed to take place a few a few yards from the car.

‘Hey, Franko said you needed the van?’ a new voice spoke.

‘Hey Lucas, surprised he called on you, you sure you can drive that thing?’

‘Don’t be cheeky, you little monkey, concentrate on getting that car back to Franko, I’ll take the package,’ Lucas stated.

‘It’s in the trunk, there’s not much of it.’

Jesse tensed realising he was the package, and soon enough he felt himself being manhandled out of the trunk, the sound of the truck’s tailgate being raised and the cargo bed being lowered gave Jesse an idea of what he was being put into.

Unable to brace himself, Jesse cried out against his gag when he landed heavily in the back and skidding a little across the deck, he heard laughter and suddenly began to feel really scared.

‘I guess it can’t be good if you’ve been called, look just make it quick at least, my own boy is about his age,’ the driver spoke up, and Jesse caught every word and froze in panic, this was it, he was going to die he realised and the tears began to fall. What had he done wrong, this wasn’t fair, and Jesse began to struggle against the restraints in vain.

‘Sometimes I hate my job,’ Lucas was heard as the tailgate was slammed down, deafening Jesse momentarily. 

A couple of minutes later he heard the engine start up and the vehicle shook as it began to move. Jesse felt numb now, he thought of his crappy parents who allowed this to happen, his school, his teachers, he wondered if anyone would miss him, maybe Badger might notice him gone. He thought of Jake growing up without an older brother, would he even be told about him? Would anyone remember him, and with that thought Jesse’s sobs grow louder and more hysterical. The anger then swelled deep inside him, how he had wasted his life, had hardly lived and didn’t understand why he was going to die now. The vehicle started jostling a lot more, clearly had left the road and in this area he would be lucky if he’d ever be found, the beauty of New Mexico Jesse thought sadly, almost accepting his fate now, but the sobs and fear returned when the engine stopped and the panic rose tenfold.

Jesse heard the footsteps and then the tailgate being raised, and the cargo bed being lowered. The vehicle shifted as Jesse sensed the driver, Lucas, getting into the back and then the blanket was removed to reveal Jesse’s naked and bound form.

‘Fuck me,’ the man spoke, and he clearly took a couple of steps back, Jesse couldn’t help the sobs that escaped as he did so. ‘Just a stupid fucking kid,’ Lucas was speaking to himself, frustration clear. ‘So you’re the latest toy, figures, he likes them blond, and slight, you’re the perfect fit, but never this young before, I can see why Franko freaked out,’ Lucas continued and Jesse hated someone talking about him like he was, probably checking him out and he was glad to be blindfolded still.

Jesse sensed the stranger get down onto the floor of the truck, so he was kneeling next to him, and then shirked when he felt his hands on his arm. ‘You look so helpless, so cold, let me warm you up a bit,’ Lucas then suggested and Jesse started to squirm as he felt the man start to vigorously rub his arms, then his legs, not exactly warming him up but Jesse started to realise that was the last thing on the perv’s mind as he tried to kick out, to buck away from his dirty hands. ‘Hey, calm the fuck down, kid!’ Jesse felt a strong grip on his neck, and he was lifted abruptly then slammed down onto the bed of the truck, crushing his hands still bound behind his back and he muffled a cry from behind the gag. The hand remained firm around his neck for a few moments before the man moved it away and Jesse coughed in reaction.

Jesse froze when he heard the man undoing his belt buckle and lowering his zip, the dread built up and Jesse was scared, cursing himself for letting himself get into this situation. The man roughly lowered the gag in his mouth, so it rested around his neck and then forced his groin into Jesse’s face, the smell almost made Jesse gag. ‘I don’t have to tell you what to do, if I feel teeth, you feel pain,’ the man gruffly ordered.

Feeling glad that the blindfold was still across his eyes Jesse went through the motions, feeling numb and dumbstruck as the man took control, much like Del had under the influence but this was with more spite and venom. Jesse was gagging, panicking, losing oxygen but he wasn’t fighting this time. He froze when a finger then roughly entered him, the momentary panic caused him to gag on the man’s dick and choke, but the man was relentless, pushing himself further down Jesse’s sore throat. Just when Jesse thought he was going to pass out, he was abruptly repositioned, still on his back, and without much prep the man’s dick painfully entered him, the pain was intense, cursing through him and Jesse screamed out, the man scrunched up the gag around his neck cutting off circulation.

Just when Jesse thought it couldn’t get any worse he felt intense pain across his face, followed quickly by another blow, then another as Lucas began to pummel him for fun it seemed, getting his ribs with a further round of punches. Jesse simply know this was it, this was how he was going to die as he tried to take another breath but there was now no air as his gag grew tighter around his neck once the beating was done, he felt himself drifting but the attack continued. Jesse knew in some part of his brain that he really needed to survive this, this wasn’t how it ended for him and as he felt the edges of his consciousness start to blacken, Jesse drifted, locking down his entire being, switched off and managed to escape to somewhere completely safe within his mind, away from pain, and his sorry existence.

* * *

‘Franko! What the fuck have you done, where is Jesse?’ Del panicked almost immediately as he came to, seeing Franko sat on an empty bed where Jesse had been.

‘Everytime I leave you for five minutes, Del, I can’t keep tidying up your fancy boys,’ Franko stressed.

‘No, no, you don’t understand, Jesse isn’t like the others, oh my god,’ Del scrambled to his feet, still feeling a little dazed but his panic took over. ‘He can’t be tidied up, he’s different, people will ask too many questions, this will be game over!’

‘What are you talking about?’ Franko asked.

‘Jesse is on the workplace scheme, he’s only fifteen, Franko, and people have seen me with him, his parents know I’m with him,’ Del stated firmly, and it was clear Franko was started to put things together.

‘Fucking hell, are you crazy, did you finally lose your mind?’ Franko yelled. ‘What the hell is going on here, you plan on going public with your dubious activities?’

‘Look, please, you can’t deal with Jesse like the others, whatever you’ve done with him it’s got to be stopped, I’m begging you,’ Del pleaded, desperation clear in his voice. ‘We can still fix this, but not the usual way.’

‘Shit, it may already be too late,’ Franko stood up. ‘My driver has just texted to say he’s downstairs, that means the drop off has already occurred.’

‘You have to get Jesse back, I need to take him back to his parents and I promise, I’ll leave town and never come back, just make sure Jesse is safe,’ Del begged. ‘His parents already have all the money they want we don’t have to worry about that.’

‘What the fuck have you been up to here? You brought a fucking kid from his parents, you’re fucking sick, you know that?’ Franko yelled. ‘Then what? A part of your dumbass brain decided to put him on the workplace scheme, you’re a fucking idiot sometimes,’ he continued to rant.

‘I’m still your boss,’ Del warned.

‘And I’m still trying to keep you out of jail, out of the papers, your company still in business,’ Franko snapped.

‘Just get Jesse back here,’ Del stressed.

Franko sighed heavily and dialled a number, but it took a few rings before it was answered. 

‘What?’ Lucas snapped.

‘I need the kid alive, and brought back to the apartment,’ Franko ordered.

‘No can do,’ Lucas simply said.

‘Please tell me you haven’t already completed the job, I did state that you needed to get a good distance away to dump the goods, you can’t have done that already,’ Franko sneered.

‘The kid’s not dead,’ Lucas confirmed. ‘He’s right here, with me now.’

‘Ah brilliant, just bring him back, we have a plan,’ Franko enthused, and saw Del brighten.

‘Can’t do that,’ Lucas stated.

‘Why the fuck not?’ Franko demanded.

‘It’s hard to explain over the phone, I’ll send co-ordinates,’ Lucas simply said and killed the call.

‘What’s going on, you look very white suddenly,’ Del stated.

‘Shit, I heard rumours about Lucas, about the stuff he may do to the ones we make disappear, before completing his job,’ Franko whispered. ‘Didn’t care before, they were dead men already, but I now fear I’m about to see exactly what he does first-hand,’ Franko frowned, suddenly feeling a little sick.

‘Franko, there’s another person we need to be aware of, a guy called Samson, a friend of the kid who got wind of who I am, and the rumours around me,’ Del admitted. ‘If anything has happened to Jesse, or the kid suddenly disappears, he will make a lot of noise.’

‘Give me all the details, I’ll get it sorted,’ Franko rubbed his face, looking strained. ‘I’ll get it all sorted, just get some sleep, maybe ice your head, and maybe your dick as well whilst you’re at it,’ Franko sighed and checked as his phone beeped. ‘I’ll go see how much of your boy toy is left to pick up.’

‘If anything has happened to Jesse,’ Del began.

‘Don’t you dare threaten me, this is your mess, all your mess, you need to be thanking me, ok?’ Franko stormed as he slammed the door behind him.

Del stood in the middle of the room dumbstruck, before collapsing to his knees and letting his emotions escape as he feared for Jesse, and the worst possible thoughts began to invade his imagination as he crumpled to the floor in agony.

* * *

‘Fuck!’

‘Franko, man, look I’m sorry, the kid was just there, I was supposed to kill him anyway, this isn’t my fault,’ Lucas explained.

Lucas never even heard the gunshot as he fell heavily into the dirt. ‘Go bury him,’ Franko ordered to two men stood close by before he rubbed his face. With a heavy sigh he walked up into the back of the truck and just stopped in shock at the sight, he had seen a lot of damage over the years, had caused a fair amount of it but seeing the state that man had left the kid in turned his stomach. His phone came to life, and Franko quickly answered it needing the distraction.

‘Have you found him?’

Franko took a deep breath, hearing Del’s voice so desperate.

‘Franko, where the fuck is Jesse, you said you’d bring him back, so I could take him home so where the fuck is he?’ Del demanded, sounding delirious.

‘There’s been an incident,’ Franko began.

‘Don’t you fucking dare, Franko, if anything bad has happened to that kid then we’re done, you hear me? I will destroy you,’ Del raged and Franko believed every word.

‘It’s just a slight change of plan, I think it’s best if you just let me deal with getting Jesse back to his family,’ Franko suggested. ‘We then need to strike a new deal with that family, I will lead negotiations, so you are not connected to it.’

‘Bullshit, I’m already connected to this Franko, just tell me what’s happened,’ Del demanded.

‘Lucas is dead,’ Franko stated.

‘Dead, how?’ Del was confused.

‘I killed him,’ Franko calmly revealed.

‘Why?’ Del questioned.

Franko paused, knowing he had to tread carefully after the night they had both had. ‘Because I made a mistake.’

‘You, you made a mistake?’ Del checked, it was clear those words didn’t often come out of Franko’s mouth.

‘Let’s just say I left your boy toy in his care, that was a mistake,’ Franko simply said. ‘Things will be complicated now, with the family, we may need to cover some pretty hefty medical bills and increase the price of their silence.’

‘What the fuck did he do to Jesse?’

‘Looking at him, it’s more a case of what didn’t he do,’ Franko remarked.

‘Don’t fucking joke, Franko,’ Del seethed. ‘Get this sorted, get Jesse fixed, this is on you now, this mess is what you created because of your temper, you jumped to conclusions before asking questions, Franko, you caused this but I swear, I will not leave this city until you can physically prove to me that Jesse is ok, and by ok I mean not dead, and not damaged, ok?’

‘Come on Del, if this has any chance of working you have to never see that kid again, and likewise he should never see you again,’ Franko argued.

‘I tried to stop you, Franko, I told you Jesse is different, not like the others, for fuck sake I wasn’t holding the kid captive!’ Del yelled.

‘He was literally secured to your bed, Del,’ Franko raged.

‘I never hurt the boy, it wasn’t like the other young men, you know I got help for that and that part of my life is done,’ Del seethed. ‘I knew Jesse for five or so weeks, was helping him, he has a bad family life I was doing some good, Franko,’ Del wept. ‘I was with him and he never got hurt once, Franko, his parents trusted me, I was helping him, he was doing just great but then just five hours in your care?’ Del countered angrily.

‘So, you’ll take a drug test, and it’ll be clean?’ Franko asked. ‘Because if I find any evidence your back on the meth you know I won’t be able to believe anything your telling me,’ Franko relayed.

‘It was just one time, ok? I’ve been clean for six months but Jesse kept asking, he knew I had some in the apartment but I’ve now thrown it away, it’s gone,’ Del stressed. ‘The same thing happened to me whilst on it, Franko, I thought I was better, but I know I can’t be trusted on that stuff, it’s already destroyed,’ Del stressed.

‘So, you did hurt the kid?’ Franko checked.

‘Not like that, not like before, I was able to stop myself and Jesse was fine,’ Del stammered. ‘Look, I just lost myself a bit but Jesse was high as well, didn’t feel it and I knew straight away, I stopped myself, Franko, the treatments worked, I wasn’t out of control like before.’

‘You gave fucking crystal meth to the kid?’ Franko asked with disgust.

‘Please, Franko, just fix him, he doesn’t deserve any of this, please, I love him,’ Del pleaded.

‘You love him?’ Franko caught. ‘Jesus, Del,’ he remarked in anger.

‘I accept I made a mistake with the meth, but you made a mistake as well, remember?’ Del pointed out.

‘What’s happened is unfortunate, but fact remains, your reputation can not risk this ever being exposed, do you even understand what’s at stake here?’ Franko argued.

‘Look, I didn’t say I had to talk to Jesse, ok? I just need to see he is ok before I quit him, and leave town, deal?’ Del conceded, calming down a little.

‘Fine, I’ll work miracles if that’s what it takes,’ Franko ended the call and then dialled another number. ‘I’m sending you co-ordinates, I need the very best medics and facilities you have to be ready for a very urgent case, the authorities must not be alerted, and subject must not die,’ Franko ordered and then sent the co-ordinates to their location. 

Franko knelt down by the kid, he retrieved the blanket and covered him as he heard quiet sobbing, the kid was at least still alive, but he feared at what cost.


	8. After effects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse knows something bad happened... but life goes on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final part... yay :)

‘That’s right, just add that to the mix, like that, Jesse,’ a female voice he recognised broke through his thoughts and Jesse jumped, dropping the milk onto the counter with panic as he stepped back unsure.

‘Oh Jesse, you can be so clumsy.’

Jesse tried to focus and realised his Aunt Ginny was now mopping up the milk, he had only spilt a small amount from a jug, but he was confused why he was even in her kitchen with the jug to start with. His aunt turned to him and saw Jesse’s confusion.

‘Has it happened again?’ She asked with care.

‘What’s going on?’ Jesse whispered.

‘We’re making cakes, remember?’ Aunt Ginny revealed with a smile.

‘Why?’

‘Why not, it’s cake,’ Ginny enthused.

Jesse was still confused, he felt lost and unable to recall any information that might make sense of where he found himself now. ‘What am I doing here?’

‘Oh, Jesse, it’s happened again hasn’t it?’ Ginny stopped what she was doing and stood in front of Jesse, gently taking hold of his upper arms. ‘It’s ok, honey, don’t worry, you don’t have to try and remember anything, you live with me now, you’re safe.’

‘I live here, in this house?’ Jesse checked, unable to recall anything to support it.

‘All you need to know is your parents couldn’t deal with your problems, the drugs, the company you kept and when I found out what they’d been putting you through, locking you in your room, forcing you to study, the pills, everything else,’ she reeled off.

‘The pills?’ Jesse questioned.

Ginny sighed. ‘I found out a lot of stuff and I’m so sorry, Jesse, they let you down, but I won’t let them bully you again, I promise,’ Ginny said with conviction. ‘You didn’t know it but since you started high school, in a ridiculous attempt to enrich you, they’d been giving you untested drugs supposedly to help you, or so they claim,’ Ginny looked angered. ‘I only found out when, well, when the report came back to say you had a build-up of a dangerous poison in you that could have affected your mental health over a sustained period. It explains why you’ve been struggling, why you couldn’t keep up and why you acted out, the very thing they were trying to control in you made you worse, you didn’t stand a chance.’

‘What?’ Jesse still felt confused. ‘They gave me vitamins,’ Jesse recalled vaguely.

‘Vitamins, that’s a joke, those two are monsters when they want to be, but oh they claim their innocence now, believe me, they are anything but,’ Ginny stressed, and stroked the side of Jesse’s face affectionately. ‘Look, go and have a lie down in your room, I can finish up here, I probably pushed you a little too much, too soon with the baking,’ Ginny said sadly rubbing his arm.

Jesse numbly nodded his head, but then paused. ‘Where is my room?’

Ginny tried to hide the flash of sadness his question evoked. ‘Go up the stairs, the back room.’

Jesse moved out of the kitchen and walked carefully up the stairs, he reached the landing and walked towards the room that best fit Ginny’s description. On entering he knew it was his room, the mess of clothes on the floor, the drawings on the wall, it looked like he had been here a while furthering his confusion. He slowly walked in and looked at the drawings that he didn’t remember doing, they looked horrific, depictions of violence and blood and Jesse instinctively grabbed for them all, scrunching them up and putting them in the bin. He moved to his bed and lay down, he felt numb and confused. He knew he was forgetting something, but he wasn’t sure what, he felt tired and within moments of thinking it, he closed his eyes and slept.

* * *

The smell hit him as he came back to his senses, whatever it was he was hungry and needed to eat it, he decided and stirred himself awake.

‘I thought you’d be hungry, you missed lunch,’ Ginny smiled as she brought a tray of hot food towards Jesse.

‘Starving,’ Jesse agreed, and sat up ready to take the tray from his aunt. ‘I thought we were making cakes today?’ he then checked.

Ginny half smiled. ‘You got tired remember, came up here for a nap four hours ago.’

‘Oh, sorry, I know you were looking forward to teaching me,’ Jesse responded.

‘Another time,’ Ginny stated. ‘Now eat up, and we will still have time to go to the shops.’

‘Did it happen again?’ Jesse asked.

‘It did but it was better this time, you didn’t freak out at all, just calmly came up here and slept,’ Ginny responded.

‘I feel better,’ Jesse returned. ‘I hope that means those weird turns will be finished before I return to school, I don’t want to have another thing for them to bully me about,’ Jesse smirked as he began to eat. ‘Hey, what happened to my drawings?’ Jesse noticed the wall was bare.

‘Looks like you threw them in the bin,’ Ginny noticed.

‘The other Jesse did, not me,’ Jesse calmly corrected.

‘Don’t talk like that, Jesse,’ Ginny warned. ‘There’s only one Jesse. You keep talking like that and they will throw you in the mental house.’

‘You know what I mean,’ Jesse returned.

‘I do but I don’t like what it infers,’ Ginny stated. ‘You are not crazy.’

‘So why have people been trying to fix me for the past two months?’ Jesse countered.

‘Because my poor boy was broken,’ Ginny said with affection, and Jesse frowned.

‘I don’t want to remember,’ Jesse then said quietly, it had only been in the past week or so that he had finally begun to feel pain free from the attack, it had been a long few weeks of recovery.

‘Jesse, it would be better if you just look forward, completely forget that anything happened, just focus on what’s best for you and your future,’ Ginny advised calmly.

‘I really don’t remember what happened to me,’ Jesse simply said between eating his food.

‘I believe you,’ Ginny confirmed and sat down next to him, she gently rubbed his back. ‘The mind has a wonderful way of protecting you, so don’t fight it, when it’s ready to give up its secrets it will.’

Jesse nodded his head. ‘So much of the past six months is just a blur, there’s some things I remember but they make no sense on their own, just flashes,’ Jesse tried to explain.

‘They said at some point you must have incurred a head injury, they found recent past trauma but couldn’t tell if it was one incident or several,’ Ginny reminded him. ‘That mixed with what they know was an extreme emotional traumatic event, your brain just reset you.’

‘I like that way of looking at it, my brain rebooted,’ Jesse grinned.

‘I’ll leave you to finish up, come downstairs when you’re ready and we can go to the shops,’ Ginny suggested.

‘Actually, do you think it’ll be ok for me to just hang with Badger for a couple of hours?’ Jesse asked.

Ginny gave him a knowing look. ‘Ok, but promise me you won’t get caught, and just stick to weed, not that other crap you were talking about,’ Ginny warned. ‘You have enough mush in your head, at least I can justify to myself that the weed helps you with your recent trauma.’

‘You’re the best, Aunt G,’ Jesse grinned.

Ginny made her way down the stairs and headed to the phone, she dialled a speed number and waited. ‘He woke up fine, back to himself.’

‘That’s a relief.’

‘Diane, when are you going to come round and see him for yourself, you can’t just pretend he doesn’t exist, he’s going to start noticing if he hasn’t already,’ Ginny then asked. ‘You know it’s important, you need to still be in his life.’

‘I will, I promise, just things are still a little tense here still,’ Diane Pinkman revealed. 

‘You need to believe him when he says he doesn’t remember anything,’ Ginny stated. ‘Whatever it is you are protecting he won’t be a risk.’

‘The paperwork and settlement still need to be signed off and approved, Ginny, he could remember at any time and that would be bad, the other party needs to protect their interests before we can resume a normal life,’ Diane stressed.

‘And what about Jesse’s interests, Jesse’s life?’ Ginny snapped back.

‘This is between us and the other party, Ginny,’ Diane stated.

‘Jesse is the one who got hurt and can’t remember six months of his life! Maybe be concerned for him rather than be so consumed by this other party, or is it the fact Jesse doesn’t have the cash to get your attention?’ Ginny argued.

‘You do not know what’s involved here, Ginny, so stop with the accusations. Do you really want him to remember, seriously? You saw what state he was in, this is delicate stuff, it needs time,’ Diane returned strongly.

‘Of course I don’t want the poor boy to remember, but that doesn’t mean one day he won’t remember, and then what?’ Ginny asked, her voice hushed to ensure she wasn’t overheard. ‘Who’s going to pick up those pieces when he does? Because it’s looking doubtful that you will, Jesse was raped, Diane, violently, and it was done whilst he was in the care of a man who paid you money for that privilege, you sold him, Diane, an innocent boy, your son, you took someone’s money to knowingly look the other way,’ Ginny let her emotions take over.

‘Oh, so he’s our son now,’ Diane shot back.

‘Don’t you dare,’ Ginny hissed. ‘I did not agree to this, to you treating Jesse like an object you could trade so you could what? Put your own son through some stupid posh school, at the cost of Jesse’s innocence?’

‘That boy was far from innocent, Ginny, it was only because he wasn’t, that Adam,’ Diane began.

‘That Adam, what?’ Ginny interrupted. ‘Prostituted him? Allowed a paedophile to do lord knows what for a small fortune? Payback for the boy’s curiosity, payback for him being curious and growing up, how dare he!’ she scoffed.

‘Ok, I get it, stop already!’ Diane protested. ‘But of course you’d side with Jesse being curious, your own curiosity led to Jesse existing after all.’

‘I should just go to the authorities,’ Ginny stressed ignoring the dig. ‘Maybe it’s not enough that I’ve taken him back from you to protect him.’

‘Then why don’t you?’ Diane challenged.

‘Because,’ Ginny paused. ‘Because you are still my sister and I want to believe there is some rational explanation for what happened, that maybe some good will come from this I don’t know,’ Ginny flustered. ‘Regardless, I will always remain indebted to you, I wouldn’t even know Jesse if it wasn’t for you, so you know I wouldn’t do that, but doesn’t mean I’m ever going to forgive either of you for what happened,’ Ginny sighed. ‘I trusted you to raise my son when I wasn’t able to, to give him the stability I couldn’t give him, and here we are now having to hope to god that he never remembers, just so he can live a good life?’ Ginny questioned with her emotions high. ‘This may have already destroyed any hope of him living a normal honest life, do you even get that, Diane?’

‘Ginny,’ Diane sighed. ‘Believe me if I had realised sooner I would never have agreed to any of this, I honestly thought Adam had innocently set Jesse up with a work placement at that company, it looked official and above board. Adam told me that Del Burley had a family so I never questioned Jesse staying over, and yes I found it upsetting that Jesse seemed to prefer being with him, to us if you must know,’ Diane stressed. ‘But it was also something of a relief at the time because it was breaking my heart seeing Jesse so depressed and lifeless with Adam’s strict regime,’ Diane offered sadly. ‘And then I saw that Jesse was so happy, his schoolwork was improving, teachers were commenting about how much better he was doing right up until that dreadful night.’

‘Well, he’s not your problem anymore and I’m sure Adam is arranging a deal that will make everything go away so we can all move on, just promise me Jesse will at least benefit a little from what he’s rightfully earned,’ Ginny suggested.

‘I’ve not been involved in that side of things,’ Diane stammered.

Ginny didn’t need to hear anymore. ‘You know what, keep the money, Jesse will do just fine on his own without any more supposed help from you two,’ Ginny put the phone down, and took a moment to calm down.

‘I’ll be back about nine, Aunt G,’ Jesse briskly said as he walked through the kitchen moments later, with his finished tray of food. ‘I’ll clean these up when I get back, promise,’ he grinned.

‘Keep out of trouble,’ Ginny half smiled as he opened the back door to leave, she was still a little put out by her chat with her sister. ‘I love you, son,’ she said quietly after he had already left the house, and she walked to the sink to clean up his empty plate.

* * *

‘So, are you all ok now and shit?’ Badger asked, trying to sound casual. ‘Last time I saw you, you couldn’t even get out of bed without an oxygen mask, man, you were all messed up and shit.’

‘Yeah, I’m all good, that was like six weeks ago, yo,’ Jesse confirmed dismissively, standing just outside the park with Badger. ‘So, we need to score some weed, I found this money in my drawer at my aunts,’ Jesse said showing Badger the fifty dollars.

‘Sweet, where’d you get it?’ Badger asked.

‘Savings I think, I don’t remember,’ Jesse admitted. ‘My aunt said she found it in the pocket of my jeans before she washed them when I first moved in.’

‘That guy probably gave it to you,’ Badger suggested.

‘What guy?’ Jesse asked.

‘You know that guy, the work placement guy,’ Badger prompted. ‘You said he was always giving you money and shit.’

‘Oh, maybe,’ Jesse shrugged dismissively.

‘Did that all finish with the accident you had?’ Badger asked.

‘I guess so, it was never a long-term thing I don’t think, maybe just till the end of last term,’ Jesse offered unsure. ‘Just something my dad set up, now I don’t live at home I don’t know if it’ll start up again.’

‘So, you live with your aunt full time now?’ Badger questioned.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse nodded his head.

‘What’s that all about, did you parents chuck you out or something?’ Badger asked. ‘Cos that’s badass if they did.’

Jesse smirked. ‘Yeah, they did,’ he decided to agree, not that he was entirely clear why other than whatever happened to him, his Aunt blamed his parents, but he couldn’t remember much about it and once again the choice wasn’t his to make, not that he would ever vote to live with his parents.

‘What did happen to you, yo? There was a whole couple of months or more where we didn’t see you at school, and shit,’ Badger then asked, it was a question he had been desperate to know since Jesse suddenly disappeared from class one day, even the teachers didn’t seem to know.

Jesse shrugged. ‘I got beat up pretty bad, I don’t really have any memory of that or been told, it upsets my aunt if I ask and my parents won’t even mention it, that’s when I actually see them,’ Jesse kicked the dirt at his feet. ‘I honestly have no memory, in fact they’ve worked out I might have lost my memories for the past six months or so, it’s just all hazy, just certain things I recall but no context,’ Jesse tried to explain. ‘I remembered you, they say maybe positive memories have sort of survived but it’s still a bit random, still working it out, they think I have some sort of amnesia, dissociative or something I think they called it.’

‘Sounds heavy,’ Badger stated.

‘I remember just suddenly becoming aware one day, like waking up but I was already awake, apparently I had been up and about for a couple of weeks prior to that, but I have no memory of that even. They feared I had brain damage or shit, they were trying to teach me to walk again, eat on my own, then suddenly I was back in the room and knew how to do stuff but still no clue what had really happened,’ Jesse offered. ‘The other Jesse, he still takes over sometimes, sounds like he has absolutely no clue about anything still, he scares my aunt when he turns up.’

‘Crazy that there’s two Jesses,’ Badger seemed fascinated. ‘Sounds like proper Star Trek shit, yo.’

‘She says he’s coming out less and less, and when he does it’s not as scary, hopefully he doesn’t stick around,’ Jesse said with some hope. ‘I’m just glad the pain has gone, man, whatever happened it felt like I’d been hit by a tonne of bricks and more, everything hurt, yo.’

‘Fuck that must be so weird, not knowing,’ Badger remarked. ‘You looked pretty beat up that first time I saw you, arms in plaster and shit.’

‘I was pretty drugged up for the pain at first,’ Jesse frowned, absently rubbing his wrists that still bore fading bruises. ‘Talking of drugs, do you want to see what we can find?’

‘Hell yeah,’ Badger stated. ‘I need to introduce you to Skinny Pete, he can probably score us something.’

‘Sounds good,’ Jesse enthused and then stopped, he glanced around and realised where he was, it looked different in daylight. ‘Hey, come with me,’ Jesse stated, and he hurried along the street. The steps he was suddenly in front of were empty, but Jesse had a random memory of being told to wait, so he sat down.

‘What are we doing?’ Badger asked unsure. ‘Pretty sure this house is abandoned.’

‘We’re waiting,’ Jesse hugged his knees, and they sat in silence for a bit before Jesse suddenly turned and looked behind them. ‘Hey, you want to know something cool?’

‘Sure,’ Badger eagerly returned.

‘See that top step up there,’ Jesse gestured, and saw Badger look. ‘Popped my cherry right there, man, with this amazing lady.’

‘Fuck off,’ Badger exclaimed, but clearly impressed. ‘You did it, out here, like did people see you and shit?’

‘I think a couple maybe saw us, but who cares,’ Jesse shrugged acting like he didn’t care. ‘Bitch, that was something else,’ he smiled, but in reality, he only remembered snippets now, not the whole thing anymore, but enough to remember how it felt and that it happened.

‘Jesse?’

‘Hey,’ Jesse looked up. ‘Jackson,’ he smiled at remembering something.

‘Wow, sight for sore eyes man, been a while,’ Jackson offered. ‘You ok? Do you need help?’

Jesse just shrugged. ‘Is Samson around?’

‘Oh shit, you didn’t hear?’ Jackson returned.

‘Hear what?’ Jesse feared what Jackson was about to say.

‘He got taken out, man, some drive by a few blocks from here, died instantly, gunshot to the head,’ Jackson said sadly.

Jesse hugged his knees tighter, feeling his eyes water suddenly. ‘Shit,’ Jesse managed finally. ‘Sorry.’

‘Hey, he had a good life, was a good man, he was looking out for you till the end,’ Jackson enthused. ‘Night before he died he told me to keep an eye out for you on this step, I was beginning to think we’d never see you again, he must have thought you were in trouble.’

‘I think I was,’ Jesse offered, wiping his eyes, not wanting Badger to see him cry.

‘Dude’s only just recovered,’ Badger spoke up and Jesse remembered he hadn’t introduced his friend.

‘Sorry man, Jackson this is Badger, Badger, this is Jackson,’ Jesse quickly introduced them, and Jackson high fived Badger.

‘Your friend said you recovered, did you get hurt, Jesse? I remember that shiner you were sporting one night, and stopping that kid beating you to a pulp,’ Jackson recalled. ‘You’ve been in the wars enough already from what I can tell.’

‘I don’t remember much but yeah, got beaten pretty bad again, was in hospital for a couple of weeks,’ Jesse returned. ‘It was serious,’ he shrugged.

‘When was this?’ Jackson asked with concern, but Jesse just shrugged unsure.

‘Mid May or so,’ Badger informed them.

‘That’s when we lost Samson,’ Jackson sat down.

‘You don’t think the two are related, do you?’ Jesse then asked, picking up on the way Jackson said it.

‘I’d be speculating if I did, but last conversation I had with him he was pretty concerned about the company you were keeping, Jesse, like proper scared for you, but I didn’t get to go into details with him or find out more, we planned to meet up the day he was killed, we were going to discuss a plan to help you,’ Jackson sighed heavily.

‘Shit,’ Jesse closed his eyes. ‘It was my fault I just know it.’ Jesse felt his eyes brimming once again and brought his hands up to cover his face.

‘Hey no, Jesse, look I’m sure it wasn’t connected,’ Jackson said see Jesse’s reaction. ‘I’m just glad you’re safe and well, it’s all Samson wanted, you’ve done him proud by surviving and making it back to these steps, you hear me?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse frowned, wiping his face again and taking a deep breath to clear his emotions.

‘We better get going Jesse, need to see that dude about that stuff,’ Badger stated.

‘Yeah, course,’ Jesse absently said as he got up. ‘Hey Jackson, do you have the contact of that tattoo artist, that did the dragon on Samson’s arm?’

‘Yeah, he has a shop down the street, but you will need parental permission,’ Jackson smirked.

‘My aunt will give consent, she’s my guardian now, I’m going to get that same dragon tattoo,’ Jesse stated. ‘I’ve forgotten too much, I can’t let myself forget Samson.’

‘Sweet man,’ Jackson high fived Jesse. ‘Listen, I’m sorry if I freaked you out that time, when those kids were hassling you, I just panicked cos of your age you know?’

‘ok,’ Jesse shrugged not really remembering but then a flash of memory hit him, as he looked at the stoop it dawned on him what Jackson might be referring to and he half smiled, he’d be legal soon in just a couple weeks. ‘Hey, we should meet up after the 24th,’ Jesse suggested. ‘It’s not too far away.’

Jackson laughed knowingly. ‘Oh, my lord, really? I can’t believe you just said that sly little bitch dog, yo, hell you know what? I just might, to psyche you out,’ Jackson shook Jesses hand, who was smiling back at him.

‘It’s a one-time offer, yo, take it or leave it, forever hold your peace, and shit,’ Jesse stated cockily. ‘Once it becomes October then all deals are off!’

‘Well let’s see, yeah,’ Jackson grinned knowingly. ‘Don’t be a stranger, Jesse, there are many people I’d like to introduce you to, good people.’

‘Sure, that would be cool, you’ll see me around, would love to see Julie again,’ Jesse grinned.

‘Oh, she still talks about you, even after learning the truth, and you really need to meet Wendy,’ Jackson stated. ‘I’m sure Samson would have liked you to become a part of our business, you’re a good kid,’ Jackson smiled warmly. ‘You and your friend, always welcome, these streets always need good people.’

Jackson walked away, as Jesse and Badger walked in the opposite direction. ‘Yo, what the fuck was that all about with the date and shit,’ Badger asked confused.

‘Just an in joke,’ Jesse stated, with no further explanation.

‘You’re so well connected, yo,’ Badger observed. ‘I’m glad you’re ok, you know, would have sucked if you hadn’t recovered,’ Badger offered awkwardly, and Jesse just stared at him.

‘Let’s just score some weed, hey did I tell you I’ve tried crystal meth?’

‘What? I heard that stuff is dangerous, yo,’ Badger sounded in awe.

‘I remember taking it, holding the pipe, and that initial hit but not much else, I must have passed out or something,’ Jesse frowned, the memory felt disconnected, but also vivid in some ways. ‘I think I was with that guy from the company,’ Jesse then remembered.

‘Shit, that guy gave you meth?’ Badger showed concern now. ‘Holy crap, man, no wonder you got messed up.’

‘He let me smoke weed all the time, had this kick ass apartment with both and X-Box and PlayStation,’ Jesse enthused. ‘We went Go Karting, he brought me all those designer threads I own.’

‘Dude, wasn’t that a bit weird,’ Badger didn’t sound so enthused anymore.

‘No, he was helping me better my grades, you know my schoolwork improved before my accident,’ Jesse stated defensively.

‘Yeah but, you were in that dude’s apartment, he was buying you shit, giving you drugs,’ Badger stated.

‘You know what, forget it, ok, it wasn’t like that and I don’t remember much and maybe I’m remembering it wrong, bitch, so just forget I even mentioned it, you shouldn’t question someone with a recent head trauma, what’s your problem?’ Jesse raged suddenly.

‘Jeeze sorry,’ Badger offered at Jesse’s sudden mood change, he didn’t like it when Jesse got angry so quickly diverted the conversation back making a mental note not to bring it up again. ‘But you definitely think you took meth?’

‘I know I took meth, man, fuck you, don’t question me on shit like that, bitch,’ Jesse snapped, realising quickly that adding bite to his character was a good defence. ‘If we can score some crystal, I’ll show you how to take it, yo, then you’ll know I don’t lie about that stuff.’

‘Ok, I’m willing to try,’ Badger agreed quickly.

‘Let’s find this Skinny Pete then,’ Jesse stated a little more calmly, realising he would have to be extra careful in future. The fact Badger had judged him was a wake-up call, whatever happened with that guy, that placement, the past six months, he was not ever going to mentioned again.

* * *

The school bell rang and within minutes kids started to pile out of the buildings and towards the exit. The two men sat in the dark BMW a fair distance away but close enough to observe, it took a few minutes before it started to thin out and then their target was spotted.

‘There’s Jesse,’ Del observed, sitting forward.

‘Do I need to lock the doors?’ Franko remarked with a teasing air.

‘He looks ok,’ Del ignored Franko.

‘Like I said, he’s made a good recovery, all reports suggest he’s completely recovered from his physical injuries and is suffering no ill effect,’ Franko stated, omitting the part about Jesse’s amnesia thinking Del didn’t need to know about the memory loss right now, as it worked to their advantage.

‘What have the school been told? How has this stayed away from the authorities?’ Del checked.

‘The headteacher and two trusted teachers have been paid off to stay quiet but to keep an eye on him just in case, then others from the board were sold a story that he had a brain tumor and has made a full recovery with new treatments. They were also told that the family wished for it to be kept under wraps due to Jesse’s past with bullies which the school lapped up. A local shrink, Doctor Carmichael was paid to forge necessary documents to support the story,’ Franko explained. ‘Basically no one will discuss the unexplained absence of Jesse Pinkman at the end of last term, and I’m guessing many have already forgotten or didn’t even notice, Jesse was never a shining light shall we say? The authorities have shown zero interest in Jesse, we’ve kept it under the radar pretty well.’

‘I knew he was tough, but the injuries he got, what he went through, that’s some tough shit right there,’ Del admired, seeing Jesse in active conversation with the boy he walked with. ‘He’s looking great considering.’

‘If you hadn’t made him your boy toy he might have been a good candidate for our genuine work placement scheme,’ Franko observed. ‘I know there are some in the office that spoke highly of him, the kid had prospects with us.’

‘Will you give it a rest, I know it’s fucked up, Franko, enough,’ Del snapped and then sighed. ‘He’s just turned sixteen, last week right?’

‘Yes, he’s legal now, but don’t get any ideas if you want your business to survive,’ Franko stated. ‘You promised me you would get him out of your system, I only agreed to this to put closure on my end of the deal.’

‘I know,’ Del sighed. ‘You’ve upheld your end of the deal, I will do likewise, I promise you that but I’d like to just get him something just to, I don’t know, a parting gift, something.’

‘You’ve already sent him all his clothes that he left at your place, and your Playstation, and games,’ Franko noted. ‘I’m surprised that hasn’t triggered questions, you want to send him something else?’

‘Something that will help him find his independence, just, I don’t know,’ Del sighed.

‘Look, I’ve been talking to his parents a lot lately as you know, and in idle conversation I did not wish to be a part of but found myself forced to listen to, his parents mentioned that before all this crazy started he’d been looking to get his driver permit. He’d seen this dumb old red car at the local garage he’s set his heart on fixing up, a project car of sorts, could provide a good distraction for him, keep him out of trouble and tick your box?’

‘Buy it, but don’t make it from the parents, make it from his Aunt, it’s Ginny right?’ Del ordered.

‘Already put a part payment down for it, will complete the deal and give the keys to his Aunt, and arrange for a small balance of my own money to be available so he can get some of the parts over time to help fix it,’ Franko stated with a knowing smile, and Del grinned at him with appreciation. ‘I figured I probably owed him something, for my mistake, but that’s all he’s getting, my conscience is clear now.’

‘That’s a nice gesture, Franko, I knew you had some class in there somewhere,’ Del grinned.

‘Oh, nearly forgot to mention, if his parents ever decide to ask for more money, I’ve discovered an amazing secret,’ Franko stated.

‘You have?’ Del checked.

‘Those parents, they are not Jesse’s real parents,’ Franko informed him.

‘He’s adopted?’ Del asked.

‘His Aunt Ginny, she’s his biological mother, so I guess what we’ve done to that kid is given him back to his rightful parent,’ Franko offered. ‘If we ignore the drug addiction, taking his innocence, giving him nightmares part of the experience.’

Del felt anger inside, but he took some needed breaths. ‘That bastard,’ Del seethed. ‘He never once let on he wasn’t Jesse’s real Dad, no wonder he did what he did, the guy needs locking up.’

‘But not by us because we need him to stick to our agreement, and you’ve hardly come out of this smelling of roses yourself, Del,’ Franko warned. 

‘I never hurt Jesse,’ Del seethed.

‘Not physically, Del, but the kid will be in therapy for years, already showing signs of substance abuse, I’m hearing rumours he was seen around a pretty shady part of town on Saturday night celebrating his birthday by getting his end away with some pretty street ladies, a few times, him at that friend he’s walking with by all accounts,’ Franko motioned.

‘That’s my boy,’ Del grinned.

‘You weren’t supposed to be impressed, note for future reference, be horrified by something like that, not proud, fucks sake,’ Franko rolled his eyes. 

‘He’ll be fine, he has a smart head on him, he’s a survivor,’ Del stated confidently.

‘He’s going to need a smart head to survive the path he seems to be choosing,’ Franko remarked. ‘Right now he needs to graduate high school, if he can do that then we may rest a bit easier, and he might be able to do good things despite all this,’ Franko offered.

‘He looks happier, that was my biggest fear that he would become suicidal or something, like the road he was on when I met him,’ Del then observed as Jesse walked with a taller kid past the car across the street from them, they were engaged in an animated discussion and when Jesse burst into laughter Del couldn’t help but wish he could stay. ‘He really was different just a few months ago, Franko, this wasn’t an instinct or impulse like the others, I really connected with Jesse.’

‘Can we go back to New York now and let the ABQ office run itself for a few years?’ Franko asked. ‘Forget you ever met this damn kid?’

‘When do we fly back?’ Del asked.

‘Couple of days from now,’ Franko advised. ‘Got a few final things to tie up here with the parents, and Carmichael was asking to speak to you, something about helping him with information connected to Jesse’s care or something, so make sure you see him, we need to keep him sweet.’

‘Definitely will,’ Del enthused, and with a last look at Jesse as he walked further away from them, Del started the car and pulled away with a very heavy heart.

* * *

The end… or the beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been convinced Aunt Ginny was his mom for a while so it was nice to write it into a story finally, which I think fits well, and hope it works - the next part of the story (the real Part 3) will cover the whole parentage thing more with current Jesse.
> 
> The real Part 3 is progressing well, despite me ditching a big chunk of it last weekend because it wasn't working, so this week I've been rewriting the back end of it and I'm much happier with where its going now - no spoilers but I will tease that there will be a proper Del Jesse 'now remembers' reunion, but you'll have to wait to see if it'll be happy, sad, angry or violent... the real part 3 should start posting soon... thanks so much for reading this story and all before it, makes a fangirl very happy :)

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know in comments if teenage Jesse needs a hug... comments always welcome!


End file.
